“Please say that you are my sister, so that it may be well with me for your sake” Genesis 12:13

For Your Sake – Not Abram’s finest hour, is it? His wife, Sarai, is beautiful and desirable. This is a problem. He fears that men will kill him to take her. So, he asks her to become a party in a deception. But notice carefully what he says – and what is not said. This is betrayal, pure and simple. By discovering how the story proceeds, we may learn something about ourselves.

Abram employs the particle na in his opening request. It is correctly translated “please.” Abram does not command her to lie. That would be too offensive. She might say, “Hey, no way.” So, he manipulates the situation. He comes at the problem obliquely. “Please, honey, I just need this one little favor. You could do this for me, couldn’t you?” He pulls the heartstrings. But that’s not all.

Our phrase “for your sake” is the Hebrew word ba’aburek. The root is ‘abur, meaning “for the sake of, on account of, because.” Seems pretty harmless. But Amos uses this word to describe the price of something (Amos 2:6). Abram implies that Sarai needs to lie for her sake, as if her lie is the price of purchasing harmony with the Egyptians. But it’s not for her at all, is it? This request is all about him! He’s the one who anticipates danger. He’s trying to save his skin, but he puts it forward as a benefit to her! What benefit can it possibly be to Sarai? She gets to be sexually used by Pharaoh. She gets to be demoted to the status of concubine. She gets to be considered bartered property. That’s really for her benefit, isn’t it?

Of course, as it turns out (need I say, as God engineers the circumstances), what Abram fears is exactly what happens. He does trade Sarai for his well being, and he is handsomely rewarded in the process. Sarai is simply the medium of exchange. His betrayal is complete.

Now let’s see what isn’t mentioned in this text. First, of course, there is no mention of the sovereign God. What made Abram decide that he had to take care of this danger himself? He didn’t trust God with the circumstances. The man who just left everything because of his faith suddenly throws it all overboard. Does this remind you of Martha before Lazarus’ tomb? “Yes, Lord, I believe – but it can’t work now.”

There’s another factor here, not mentioned in the text. Why would Abram be so willing to barter Sarai? Ah, yes, Sarai is barren. She can’t provide the avenue for the promised blessing because she doesn’t have any children. In this condition, she’s useless to Abram. If he’s going to get God’s blessing, he has to have a child. And she isn’t cooperating. Why not send her away? Maybe he can trade her in for a better model.

Betrayal often rests on deeper motives. The actions on the surface aren’t always the reason why we destroy trust and dishonor others. Betrayal leaves God out, for sure. If we really understood life as His engineering for us, we could rest in His arrangements. But there is often another piece of the pie – what I want! Betrayal is closely connected with my desire to control the circumstances and trade the pieces for a more advantageous position. It is an evaluation of use rather than character.

Got any ba’aburek hiding in you?

Topical Index: for your sake, ba’aburek, Sarai, Abram, Genesis 12:13, betrayal