Heart of Darkness
Lord, all my desire is before You and my sighing is not hidden from You. Psalm 38:10 (Hebrew text – Hebrew Heart media translation)
Desire – Did you think David uses the word ta’avati (“my desire”) to describe his spiritual longing for intimate relationship with God? Have you lifted this verse from its context in order to use it as a model of desiring holiness? Better read the first nine verses again. They are filled with physical distress, festering wounds, illness and discomfort as a result of David’s sin. In context, this word can’t be about David’s yearning for God’s goodness. In context, David proclaims that God sees all his ungodly desires. This is the battle of the yetser ha’ra raging in David. The same word that shows up in Genesis 3:6 is employed to express David’s seductive terrors. No wonder he sighs. Part of him wants to fulfill those cravings. Part of him is greedy for his own relief. (Both greed and craving are also meanings of ta’avah). What does David discover? God sees it all. God sees the heart of darkness boiling within us. And God is not afraid.
But we are afraid, aren’t we? We are afraid to look at the real darkness within. We sometimes feel caught in the trap. Our desires are powerful, perhaps even overwhelming. We wish we could hide, especially from our Lord. Just like Adam, once we discover the truth of our second-agenda condition, we want to run for cover. But God does not hide. He looks right into the mess we have allowed to ferment and says, “Come back to Me.” David recognizes that the first step toward verse 16, a verse of hope, is exposure. Until I acknowledge that God sees me for all that I am, I can’t make much progress toward righteousness. Life on this planet is always a fight. God knows that too. If I pretend that I am just fine, that there is no battle left in the depths of my person, then I am the one hiding.
It’s important to notice that David’s metaphors for his present state are particularly Hebraic. They are all about tangible, physical conditions. Wounds, sleep disturbance, weakness, deafness, dumbness, burning in the loins and general illness describe the symptoms of sin. The Western Greek world views sin as an inner malady of the soul requiring spiritual and psychological counseling. Greek sin drives me to the therapist. Hebrew sin drives me to the Surgeon. There’s a big difference. David’s view of sin means that others observe his aliments and rightly conclude that he is having problems with God. I wonder if we would draw that conclusion about what we observe. Probably not. And what a shame that we are blind to the whole-person disruption sin causes. How can we help if we don’t see?
Ah, but God sees. He sees it all. All the corruption. All the failure. All the fight. All the self-deprecation. God sees – and He loves us anyway. There is no hope in me. I am in the heart of darkness. But there is an answer. “For in You, YHWH, I hope, You will answer, Lord Elohiym.”
Topical Index: desire, ta’avah, darkness, hope, Psalm 38:10
Psalm 38:9 “Lord, all that I long for is known to you…”
Funny, I was just thinking about this phenomenon the other day.
My relationship to God is closer now and I accept myself more.
But what I long for has not changed.
Makes me think of the Messiah ben David.
Beautiful said Michael. I am sure Messiah ben David hears your longing.
Who is Messiah ben David?!?!?!
A great question Jan.. Who is “both” the Son of G-d and son of man? “And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. (Luke 2.4,5)
Hail to the Lord’s Anointed,
Great David’s greater Son!
Hail, in the time appointed,
His reign on earth begun!
He comes to break oppression,
To set the captive free,
To take away transgression,
And rule in equity.
He comes with succour speedy
To those who suffer wrong;
To help the poor and needy
And bid the weak be strong;
To give them songs for sighing,
Their darkness turn to light,
Whose souls, condemned and dying,
Were precious in His sight.
He shall come down like showers
Upon the fruitful earth,
And joy and hope, like flowers,
Spring in His path to birth.
Before Him on the mountains
Shall peace, the herald, go
And righteousness, in fountains,
From hill to valley flow.
Arabia’s desert ranger
To Him shall bow the knee,
The Ethiopian stranger
His glory come to see;
With offerings of devotion
Ships from the isles shall meet
To pour the wealth of ocean
In tribute at His feet.
Kings shall bow down before Him
And gold and incense bring;
All nations shall adore Him,
His praise all peoples sing;
To Him shall prayer unceasing
And daily vows ascend,
His kingdom still increasing,
A kingdom without end.
O’er every foe victorious,
He on His throne shall rest,
From age to age more glorious,
All blessing and all-blest.
The tide of time shall never
His covenant remove;
His name shall stand forever, —
That name to us is Love.
James Montgomery, 1821
Hello Jan,
I was identifying with Michael’s longing and thinking. I was being a bit ambigious, to stir up conversation with him. Thanks, for your question though. I believe Yeshua is Messiah ben David.
Hi Jan,
As I recall, some time ago Skip wrote a very interesting piece on this topic, but I never got back to it.
As I understand it, there are two Messiahs:
– Messiah ben Joseph
– Messiah ben David
And maybe David
Descended from a gentile…???
Shalom Michael,
You have had some comments and questions on some of my blogging in the past. First, thank you responding. Second, my apology for not responding to you. Blessings.
The Messiah, as the rabbis note, comes in (plays) two different roles. One is the role of the suffering servant of the people (from Isaiah). The typology of this role is Joseph, thus the rabbis refer to him as Messiah (son of) ben Joseph. The other role is that of the conqueror, the one who restores Israel and brings justice to the earth. This typology is King David. Jews are looking for this Messiah even today. We, who follow the Way, realize that the same person fulfills both roles, first as the suffering servant and then (later) as the conqueror. Just like the Jews, we are waiting for Messiah ben David too.
Hi Skip,
Thanks for the clarification!
What I had in mind in my response was related to your piece.
But as I recall it was connected to a passage in the “Old Testament.”
And a footnote said that David might have descended from the Gentiles.
But it is a fuzzy memory at best 🙂
The genealogy of Yeshua through David (as in Matthew) does contain Gentile ancestors, in particular Rahab and Ruth, but they became part of Israel by adoption (more or less).
I couldn’t have said that better myself Michael.
The bad news (how hopeles I am) is good news. He longs for me anyway. There is hope that in my periless situation, I can be secure in Him.
Whether the therapist, or the surgeon, the “Doctor” (the Great Physician) is in. Light is that which reveals, -and Jesus is the Light of the world. Light is that which reveals, -and Jesus is the Light of the world. (oh.. did I say that already?..) Something wonderful happened to the prodigal son..er.. David. His “sin” was revealed to him. No one can be “found” who is not lost. We sinners have no need of a Savior until we recognize and realize (and confess) our sorry sinful state. Yes, we come to Him, “just as I am-without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me.” Hallelujah for the conviction of the Ruach Hakodesh. Hallelujah for the Light of the Word of G-d, “both” written and Living. “Search me, O G-d, and know my heart.. O God, let the secrets of my heart be uncovered, and let my wandering thoughts be tested..” “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD.” (Lamentations 3:40)
As you have received the LORD Jesus Christ, so walk ye in Him.. one foot in front of the other- repentance and faith, repentance and faith, repentance and faith.. day-by-day, moment by moment, repentance and faith.. -and the blood of Jesus Christ G-d’s Son (continually) cleanses from all sin.
-Nothing between my soul and my Savior,
So that His blessed face may be seen;
Nothing preventing the least of His favor;
Keep the way clear! Let nothing between.
If Jesus is our LORD, Savior, Master,Redeemer, Friend- are we going to “want” to sin? Are we running to sin or from sin? As a former “pig,” I once leapt into sin and loved it, but now, as a child of the King, I lapse into sin and loath it. Yes, I gladly confess- I hate sin. I hate sin in any form sins of omission, sins of comission- it matters not. Sin is what nailed Yeshau to the tslav- I should contribute to this by sinning? No. I choose Him. I choose the pathway of obedience to His words. I choose His lifestyle and His mindset. I choose the Way of Holiness. I repent of my sin and turn my back upon it-willingly,purposefully, I say no to sin and say yes to the Savior. I’m learning to lean on Jesus. Depending upon Him moment by moment to save, to keep, to guard. Without Him, I can do nothing. Without Him, I’m dead meat. Today, “it is the LORD.”
“Bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” Is this possible? “It is written..” So be it. May it be so. Amein, LORD Jesus. Amein. Savior, like a Shepherd, lead us. Much we need Thy tender care. In Thy pleasant pastures feed us. Amein. The LORD is my Shepherd..-I shall not want. Amein.
Carl,
I SO appreciate your posts. Your love and devotion to our Lord and Savior is so powerful it’s contagious. Your joy oozes through the words your write and I often come away from Today’s Word feeling doubly blessed…first by Skip’s words, and then by yours.
Thank you and may G-d continue to bless you and keep you close to Him.
Carl,
WOW!
Coupled with Skip’s article — your words have brought me enormous comfort today. It has helped me once again recognize the renewing work of Jesus in my life. Sure, I fall down; but my Savior is faithful, loving and full of mercy to catch me.
You said, “As you have received the LORD Jesus Christ, so walk ye in Him.. one foot in front of the other- repentance and faith, repentance and faith, repentance and faith.. day-by-day, moment by moment, repentance and faith.. -and the blood of Jesus Christ God’s Son (continually) cleanses from all sin.
Thank you for blessing me today!
Skip, what you said is so true, sooooo true.
Praise God that He is so merciful to open our eyes to the nature of the flesh and “old man”, and that He sent the Holy Spirit to convict (not condemn us, so we would not be afraid)….to confict us of the ungodly nature and the spirits that cause the ungodliness……..
so HE can hasten righteousness! He is our deliverer. He showed us to cast out the evil one in the Name of Jesus, to burn out the iniquity with the baptism of fire, to repent and be set free by His blood, and the Word of our testimony,
and to overcome by not loving that old way, that flesh way, that ungodly way to the death of our flesh…..saying “NO” to the flesh, giving it up, speaking the Word, putting action to the Word,
living in freedom and the Victory He gave us at the cross, being a “new man”…putting it on…….all to the glory and praise of a Mighty God Who loves us and sent His Son for this purpose.
The Messiah came for us and gave us a new Covenant of freedom if we will not be prideful, or ashamed, or afraid, or hide from the Truth, but lay hold of His authority and power.
We have an awesome God!
Thank you for encouraging all to not be afraid and hide from what is seen…..it is removable!
In the above, please forgive the typo of the word “convict”…”He convicts us of the ungodly nature”…
The “gospel” is seen so clearly in the book of Ruth. We, my friends, are “Ruth.” Neither Jew or Gentile, but a Moabite, -a half-breed, but chosen and loved by her Boaz-our Near Kinsman and Redeemer. The entire story and book of Ruth is a clear illustration, -especially considering the Hebrew names of all the characters involved in this beautiful picture of our love relationship with our heavenly Bridegroom, the LORD Yeshua- our ADONAI. “Blessed be the name of the LORD.” Blessed be Hashem.
“The Divine Romance” by Gene Edwards is a book I would highly recommend to all. G-d has had a plan from the beginning to call out a bride from among the human race to reign with Him for eternity. These are His chosen ones- the church- the bride of Christ. Oh..how He loves you and me! Amein.
Because He has (already) given unto us-all things that pertain unto life and godliness, we may say it (and know it!)- “All this.. and heaven too!” or as I have discovered, much to my delight- “It’s all good!”
Remember when Yeshau fed the hungry multitude, afterward He asked the talmudim to “gather up the crumbs?” G-d wastes nothing! Not a single crumb. -YHWH is purposeful (and perfect) in all He says and does. There are no “wasted moments” in our lives. There are difficult ones (to be sure) and there is no doubt pain and suffering here, yes, but G-d is faithful. Four of my favorite words in all of G-d’s book of instruction, “but G-d is faithful.” His love is not just love (as we know it), but covenant love or lovingkindness. Hallelujah!- G-d is Semper Fi- “always faithful.”
Remember these words? “after you have suffered awhile..”- Again (and again) praise His name- there is an “after.” Before the tiny ship entered into the storm on the lake, the words of (the) Christ to His learners were- “let us go over to the other side,” not “hey y’all, let’s go out into the middle of the lake and drown.” (And BTW, if the boat had capsized in the storm, Yeshua would have gone down with the ship!- lol!) But the Peace-Speaker was in the boat and by His very word(s) calmed the storm. He said (in Hebrew no doubt!- lol!)- “Shalom.” His word(s) even unto this day speak peace (shalom) into our hearts. (Are we listening?) -What a Mighty G-d we serve! -Do you know the Peace-Speaker?