A Special Kind Of Help

And said YHWH Elohim, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make for him a [‘ezer kenegdo].” Genesis 2:18

‘ezer kenegdoThe Bible was not written with chapter and verse numbers. Those were added thousands of years later. Unfortunately, their addition often breaks our thinking about the text so that we don’t see the continuation of one thought into another. Once these artificial stops are removed, the context of our interpretation often changes. Such is the case with the introduction of the ‘ezer kenegdo. Immediately preceding God’s statement about the need for the ‘ezer kenegdo is this command:

“Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat of it; for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (Genesis 2:17).

What follows this warning? What follows the only prohibition that God gives Adam? The necessity of an ‘ezer kenegdo. The argument proceeds from the prohibition concerning the tree of the knowledge of good and evil to the requirement for an ‘ezer kenedgdo. Furthermore, the entire story of the Fall focuses on the role of the ‘ezer kenegdo and the tree. How can we ignore the obvious conclusion that the purpose of the ‘ezer kenegdo is somehow connected to the command for Adam to obey. Adam doesn’t need an assistant or a co-laborer. The assignment to care for the garden, be fruitful, multiply and take stewardship over the earth is given to both male and female. They equally receive God’s directive. It is not the case that Adam is given the assignment and then delegates some of that responsibility to his faithful companion, Havvah.

However, the command prohibiting eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil is given to Adam alone. It is not Adam’s productive energy that needs assistance. It is his faithfulness to God’s moral obligation. He needs a protector. He needs someone whose job is to keep him on the straight and narrow. He needs one who comes alongside for the express purpose of supporting his obedience. Havvah has a role to play, but it is not the role of domestic servant, sexual outlet, production assistant or Vice President for Public Works. It is the role of priest! She is to be the one who makes sure that Adam stays faithful to God. She is the one who stands between God’s command and Adam’s obedience, watching over him so that he will not go astray. The help she brings is the help of rescue and salvation. In this role, she parallels God’s ultimate relationship with Israel. God is the protector, provider and deliverer of Israel in the fallen world, but those are only roles God takes upon Himself after the Fall. In order to understand the role of the ‘ezer kenegdo, we must look at God’s relationship with human beings before the Fall.

For this exploration, we have only the barest of clues, but these will do. The Hebrew words for “male” and “female” contain double stories. Yes, they describe our sexuality, but they also imply something more. The Hebrew word for “male” is zakar. zakar has a homophone, another word that is spelled exactly the same way in Hebrew (Z-K-R) but which has an apparently different root and a different meaning. In this case, zakar as a verb suggests some very interesting nuances. The principle meaning of zakar as a verb is “to remember.” zakar describes a presence of mind that is taken to heart. In other words, it is thinking that becomes doing. There is no better connection between these two elements than what is described in Psalm 103:18. “To those who keep His covenant and remember His precepts to do them.” The purpose of zakar is not simply to bring something to mind. It is to bring something to mind in order to act upon it. “Thus remembrance of God and the obedience it implies are experienced as a vitally necessary relationship, from which a man cannot and must not escape” (Eising). zakar is an action that is “necessary for human existence” and “a fundamental bond of mutual remembrance that unites God and man.”

Do you see why the homophone of zakar is so intriguing? Is it possible that being in God’s image as male (zakar) could be related to a man’s necessity to remember who God is and how God is related to men? Man is called to remember – in particular to remember God and his obligation to God, the Creator. In this sense, Adam bears the image of God as the one who is called to remember what God said, who God is and to act accordingly.

What about “female?” The Hebrew nekavah also has another story. In combination with zakar (male), the two words demonstrate that the image of God is carried in the complement of these two. Both are necessary for human beings to be human. But nekavah also has its own enhancement. In this case, the Arabic cognate not only means “to pierce, to make a hole,” but also “single out” and “appoint as a leader.” These meanings are also found in Scripture. For example, a slave for life (voluntarily) is marked by a hole bored in the ear. When he is given a name, his identity is transferred from the hole in the ear to the name he bears. Furthermore, we find the word used to describe an appointment to a high office. Finally, Isaiah 62:2 describes being given a new name (nakav) as something of importance and value. Could it be that the nekavah as ‘ezer kenedgo is appointed to an office of distinction, a role in which she carries a new identity and bears the mark of that identity with her sexuality. After all, she is the “mother of all living”. Everyone born of woman must find a new identity through the breach or tunnel of her body and in the process acquire a name.

What do we discover about the ‘ezer kenegdo? The text suggests that she is designed for the specific purpose of maintaining obedience between her man and God. She is his intercessor. She is to guard his relationship with the Creator, support him when he embraces God’s direction and oppose him when he does not. She is the helper-opposite in the only arena where he needs additional attention. Not work, not world-changing assignments, not dominion, not stewarding – but spiritual awareness and obedience. Without her, the man is at great risk and particularly vulnerable.

Is this the role you imagined for the ‘ezer kenegdo? This makes it rather impossible to think of women as second-class citizens in the Body, doesn’t it?

(I’m sorry that this one is so long.  I just couldn’t say what had to be said with less.)

Topical Index: ‘ezer kenegdo, woman, priest, intercessor, obedience, Genesis 2:18, male, female

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carl roberts

wow! this is the 900 lb gorilla! I’m a bit shell-shocked right now and only able to say- thank you Skip!
what a treasure the Word of G-d is! This will be a “keeper” and I’ll reread this several times to let it “soak in”. His richest blessings to all today. Eve’s role as the ‘ezer and Adam’s role as the ?? (evad?)

Melinda Lancaster

When I look back, over almost 25 years of marriage, I can see that this is what I was created to do and therefore and I am at my very best when I am doing it.
While it will fly in the face of many who have attempted to treat women as second-class citizens in the Body of Christ–the truth is the truth, period.
Reading this only causes me to take my responsibility as ezer kenedgo more seriously. I might not be a “scholar” but I do know what it feels like to find fulfillment in doing what I was made to do. Thank you so much for this teaching and the encouragement it brings to all of us on this road called “life.”

Suzi Van Liew

Wow! What a treasure chest you gave us today.
Long?! It was & is not ‘long’. It is right & proper to to say what needs to be said no matter the length. Thank you! Suz

Jeannie

Never be sorry for the lenght!! After 46 years of marriage it’s nice to see a God filled purpose and you have actually done some of it :*)

Godwin Ude

Hi Skip, This is THE TRUTH. I was not aware of this, but I knew within my heart that a wife is more than a procreative machine or a domestic executive. When God finally showed me who to marry, I knew she is indeed my Ezer Kenegdo. I don’t know what my marriage and ministry would have been by now if I had subdued my wife to a role outlined to her by the culture we live in. I am so happy that she is playing her kenegdo role so perfectly and that has kept us working in obedience to God’s call upon my life

Jay Culotta

Skip, this was indeed enlightening. However, it opens up another can of worms, so to speak, as to how, or why, Eve failed to protect Adam when she fell for satan’s deception. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not blaming her – they both sinned – but in light of your explanation of her God-given role, I would like to hear your thoughts about this. Grace and Peace, Jay

Darlene

I agree with Carl’s response and say I’m shell-shocked! And I’m so relieved to be freed from the label, nagger.

Darlene

Thank you and bless you!

Virginia I.

I surely did hear that, Darlene! I just wish my husband was a believer so he could be put in check by the Holy Spirit cause he is making my job harder by not being Christian!

Stacy

Gotta say I saw this coming after one of the previous entries on this topic! Being of the male persuasion (and “raised Southern Baptist” male persuasion at that) it gets a bit uncomfortable from a tradition angle. However, from a “resonates with the Spirit in me” perspective, I can’t deny the truthful feeling there is to this.

I was actually thinking on this general topic while observing the other parents (read: moms) at my daughter’s soccer game this weekend…and how blessed I really am and how happy I am that my lovely bride decided my marriage offer was acceptable! 😉

She may not have been ready to be my ‘ezer kenegdo when she said “yes”, but she’s sure matured into that in the Lord, to my great benefit…I really did marry way above myself…

I have to say, though, I can’t wait until we get to see how this role is impacted (corrupted?) by the realities of the fall…particularly the “curse” in Gen 3:16! 🙂

Carmen

I am in love with my appointed zakar (Stacy). I do believe it was his mom who began to pray me into holiness years before Stacy ever asked for my (helping) hand in marriage! Mom-in-law had to be patient and trusting, however. It hasn’t happened overnight, right Hon?…HE’s still workin’ (on both of us)! Amen?!

Thanks Skip for your fruitful teaching.

CYndee

Can a woman fulfill her helping role to a husband who has discarded her? Her covenant is with God, so just because the man has divorced her, isn’t she still called to the role of ‘ezer kenegdo until her husband’s death?

Dianne

Havvah It is the role of priest! She is to be the one who makes sure that Adam stays faithful to God.
Amazing! She is to guard his relationship with the Creator, support him when he embraces God’s direction.
And man is called to remember God and his obligation to God the Creator.