“Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep Your word.” Psalm 119:67

But I didn’t know

Astray – When you hear those words, “I went astray”, what do you think about guilt?  It’s fairly obvious that something is wrong with the straying life.  David contrasts it with a life that keeps God’s commandments.  So, there’s no question that the life that strays is sinful.  But David’s choice of words here is important because it tells us something about the motivation of the one who is afflicted.  This word (shagag) is used of inadvertent sin, not intentional sin.  God’s affliction shows up to get me to wake up.  This is not judgment.  It is announcement.  When I suddenly realize that things are falling apart, God is helping me come to terms with life choices that I didn’t realize were at issue.  Affliction focuses my attention and then I understand.  “Oh, Lord, now I see.  I was wrong but I just didn’t know it.”

Now we can understand why the verse does not say, “Before God judged me”.  Judgment and punishment follow intentional sin.  Intentional sin assumes that I know the right thing to do and rebelliously do the wrong thing just because I can.  The mark of a rebellious man is the affirmation that he did it because he could.  God judges rebellion.  But God brings affliction on those who didn’t know they were missing the mark and needed to have their vision corrected.

Before God corrected my understanding of His law, I unintentionally sinned against Him.  It was still sin.  It was no less serious.  It still stood between my Lord and me.  But He didn’t smash me to the ground.  He didn’t hurl me into darkness.  He didn’t destroy me.  He brought affliction, suffering that allowed me time to see my ways and make corrections.  He was gracious.  I might have deserved something far worse but God never acts without compassion and mercy.  He understands my plea, “But I didn’t know”.

There is a story we must remember.  Genesis 20 is a great example of sinning without knowing and the merciful character of God.  Read it sometime soon.

Of course, once you know things change.  You can’t go astray with the same sin twice.  The second time around God uses a different tactic.  But if you’re like David, the first time is enough for you to say, “now I keep your Word”.