And what are you?

“But by the grace of God I am what I am” 1 Corinthians 15:10

I am what I am – Would you be comfortable with this statement?  Could you stand up alongside Paul and proclaim, “By the grace of God I am what I am”?  That’s a remarkable claim.  It implies that Paul is satisfied with himself because he is the product of God’s grace.  Paul doesn’t make excuses.  He is not on a self-improvement program.  He doesn’t pine away with a constant complaint about his purpose.  He is what he is because love came to town.

I’m not so sure that I could say something like this.  I have a nagging suspicion that part of me is desperately seeking stardom.  I know that under the skin I want to be more, be better, be fuller.  I struggle with contentment.  I often catch myself thinking, “God, why don’t you do something important with me?”  I haven’t graduated from the ego-less training session yet.  God is waiting, patiently, gracefully, for me to come to terms with what I am.

Our culture is pre-occupied with purpose.  How we long to be counted!  How we pant after importance!  “Oh, Lord, if I just had a big enough purpose, then my life would matter.  Then I would be motivated.”  We are the products of self-actualization, cleverly disguised in spiritual choir robes.  Underneath it all, we still want to be more than just obedient slaves.  We want to have something more to claim that just eimi o eimi (I am what I am) by God’s grace.

How would you feel if all that you accomplished in life was to fulfill your duty as an obedient adopted son or daughter?  Would it be enough to have the Master say, “You completed the tasks I gave you” if those tasks were never noticed by anyone else?  How comfortable are you with just being His devoted servant – and nothing more?  I suspect that this is close to the heart of real submission.  It’s much easier to submit to a great cause, a wonderful opportunity or a recognized “spiritual” calling.  It’s so much harder to just be God’s janitor or bellhop.  But the path is clear.  If we are to be like the Son, we will have to learn sacrificial humility and submission unto death.  We will have to learn complete and total obedience through suffering.  How deep the roots of ego have sunk into our souls!  Then one day we finally see.  It’s grace.  That’s all.  That’s enough.  I am what I am by grace alone.  No credit due.