Birth Defects
A prayer of the afflicted when he is faint and before Yahweh pours out his complaint. Psalm 102:1 (in the Hebrew text)
Faint – Jacob knew about ‘ataph. Genesis 30:42 uses the word to describe lambs and goats born feeble, weak and unhealthy. Affliction does that to living creatures, especially to us. Affliction births defects.
There are spiritual birth defects too. Isaiah 57:16 tells us that if God were to press us to His limit, we would collapse from the ordeal. God promises not to chasten us to the point of utter fatigue for He knows that the flesh is weak.
‘Ataph finds its real home in the Psalms. Most of the occurrences of this word come from cries before God, cries that well up from deep within us, when we are broken pieces in the hands of destructive forces. And most of the time, ‘ataph is in interior word. It’s not that we falter and faint under pressures from outside our psyches. No, this word speaks about what happens when our internal character collapses, when it is all we can do to just breathe, when hope scampers over the horizon and we are left alone in the dark night.
I wonder if we truly know God without knowing what it means to be ‘ataph. I wonder if we don’t have to come to the absolute end of ourselves, to the end of every bit of self-reliance, self-assurance, self-control, before we really know the embrace of the One Who died to redeem us. I wonder if we can honestly say that we love Him if we have never stood in the wilderness, empty, afraid, destitute, begging for life.
We don’t like what ‘ataph tells us about ourselves. But this word is a true reflection of our real condition. We are helpless. Don’t you know that? Deep within, don’t you know that you really can’t manage life? If you have never been faint, perhaps you have not yet become human.
You and I are born with a birth defect that only the Lord of life can heal. But before the healing comes the weeping and before the weeping must come the dark night of the soul. You cannot be saved if you have never really discovered you are lost.
Topical Index: ‘ataph, faint, Psalm 102:1, Genesis 30:42, Isaiah 57:16, cry out
