The Cult of Self-Esteem

but I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court Matthew 5:22

Guilty – This is one of the “hard sayings” of Jesus. It pushes us to the edge of our ethics. We are not murderers. We are “good” people. But when Jesus says that being angry with another person makes us just as guilty as killing them, we rebel. How can this be? Anger just happens. Someone insults me. Someone harms me. Someone crosses my path. I can’t help becoming angry. It’s just natural. But I don’t pick up a gun and kill someone. I obey the law. So why should I be held liable?

To understand Jesus we must move from the paradigm of rules to the paradigm of righteousness. Jesus is commenting on the meaning of the Law, not the letter of the Law. “Do not commit murder” is not a commandment about civil statutes. It is a statement about the character of God. I don’t kill someone else because God is the author of life, God holds life sacred and is the Judge of human behavior. Murder is an act of treason against God. Murder says, “I am god over this person’s life.”

So far we agree. Now Jesus extends the meaning. When we are angry, we are guilty (in Greek: enochos), i.e. bound or subject to the judgment (the court) because anger distorts my own self-worth. My anger says, “My way is more important than yours.” My anger says, “I deserve better than you have treated me.” My anger says, “You and I are not the same.” Anger is a reflection of bloated self-esteem. I have never been angry over something that I felt I deserved. I might be angry that I was caught or angry that I was punished, but I cannot be angry over the act itself. It was appropriate. I am angry when I believe that I did not deserve what I got. My self-esteem does match the actions.

That’s why Jesus says that anger pushes me in the same direction as murder. I decide to be the Judge. I decide to take the role of God and determine what should have happened. The ethical action is exactly the same. I elevate myself because I inflate my own self-worth.

This is not God’s way. Followers of the Way live according to one central fact: they deserved judgment. They deserved no mercy. They are redeemed from punishment for insults to the Creator. Followers of the Way know that self-esteem is a cult, a lie of a world that refuses to see its rebelliousness to holiness. How can I be angry at someone else if I truly embrace what I have been forgiven? You and I are exactly the same; hopeless sinners before God. Anger can have no place in my life once God pardons me.