Chief of the Tribe
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all 1 Timothy 1:15
Foremost – The Greek word protos means first in space, time, number or rank. Nothing comes before it. Nothing ranks above it. Nothing precedes it. Nothing is greater than it. All of that sounds wonderful. Who wouldn’t want to be first? But Paul knows intimately the truth of Jesus words, “The first shall be last”. When it comes to sin, the apostle to the Gentiles claims he is chief of the disobedient and rebellious tribe. I want Paul to move over. I know only too well what that seat feels like.
Sometimes I don’t think we really understand the incredible depth of our sinfulness. I don’t mean that we should dwell on our disobedience or languish in our errors. I mean that until we see just how rebellious we really are, the gift of grace has only superficial meaning. Until I realize that I am the first among the wretched, I will not truly embrace that fact that I needed a savior, not a repairman.
If you thought Jesus came to point the way to heaven, you live in a silver-lining world. Jesus came to point the way to hell. He came to expose the depth of our sin. You see, a man who does not believe he is dying will not bother to go to the doctor. I have to know where I’m headed before I can change directions. Therefore, Jesus spends a great deal of time revealing just how corrupt and deceitful and devious I really am. He tells me that my anger makes me a murderer, my lust makes me an adulterer, my envy makes me a thief, my lying make me a charlatan and my selfishness makes me an idolater. I might object that I don’t do those terrible things. But Jesus is not interested in the outward expression of my moral behavior. He is interested in the inner workings of my heart. And if I have ears to hear him, I must agree. I am Bill Clinton in disguise. If I only had the power, I too would justify my actions with the words, “because I could.”
What do I learn by admitting the depth of my depravity? First, I learn that I am no different than anyone else. I am just like those boys in prison that I visit. The only difference is that they got caught. I am just as capable of doing all that they did, and more, if I let my heart do everything it wants to do. Secondly, I realize that no amount of counseling, therapy or legal constraint will ever fix the “me” inside. The truth is that without Christ in me I want to be god. And that is just too scary to imagine because everyone else feels just the same way. Once I understand the terrible condition of my heart, I will see that I too am the chief among sinners. I too am beyond repair. There is only one solution for me. “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
Without Jesus, I am already in hell. He saved me from myself. That’s why I worship Him.
