The Sin of My Strength
Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak Genesis 32:24
Left Alone – We know the story. Jacob wrestles through the night with the Angel of the Lord. He is defeated but he will not succumb. In the process, God gives Jacob his new name, Israel. There’s nothing particularly noteworthy about the Hebrew expressions here. The words (yatsar and badh) mean just what we have in English: left alone. But there is another part of this story written between the lines. That is the part that we must see if we are to understand what is really happening.
Jacob, the manipulator, has lived his life by his wits. Although the Bible tells us that he was a man of great strength, it is his cunning and deceit that gives him his advantage. He knows how to work a situation so that he comes out on top. His brother, his father and eventually his father-in-law are all victims of his special strength. But when he comes to the brook Jabbok, Jacob knows that his days of double-dealing are ending. Tomorrow he will face Esau. Powerful, able to take revenge, potentially filled with hatred, Esau approaches with 400 men. Jacob knows that tomorrow he may die. So he sends his family and all of his possessions ahead. He is alone, left behind to contemplate his fate.
What do you suppose he thought and felt standing on the far side of the brook? Here’s a “between the lines” possibility. Jacob faced the end of himself. His scheming and dreaming were over. All of the strength that had been so much the advantage in his life soon would be of no use. You simply cannot escape 400 angry men.
On this night, Jacob wrestles with his greatest fears and his deepest depression. That’s when God arrives. Jacob believes he is about to lose everything. He prepares for disaster. And God comes in that darkest moment to wrestle new life into him. They fight. Jacob hangs on to the old ways – his strength – until the end. But Jacob cannot win. In the final moment of collapse and failure, he cries out for favor. “I will not let go until you bless me. Even though I am beaten, even though I will die tomorrow, tonight I will not let go.”
Have you come to the end of your special strength? Have you arrived at the place where the default behavior of your life will not work anymore; when you know that tomorrow you are finished? That night you will wrestle with God. He will try to wrestle new life into you and you will fight to keep the old, the familiar. You will lose, but don’t let go. The blessing comes in tenacious defeat, not whimpering submission. In your own strength, you cannot cross the brook. You need a new name to go on.
