Defeated

For the enemy has persecuted my soul; He has crushed my life to the ground; He has made me dwell in dark places, like those who have long been dead. Psalm 143:3

Persecuted My Soul – The center of attack, the place of vulnerability, is not to be found in the circumstances of life. Of course the enemy can wage war on my finances, my family and my friendships. But he is much more effective when he can invade my soul. That is David’s insight. The enemy is not victorious because of conquering armies, terrifying sieges or destructive campaigns. The enemy that overcomes David lives within.

This phrase employs two crucial words, radaph and nephesh. The verb, radaph, means. “to pursue, to persecute, to chase after, to hunt down with hostile intentions.” The enemy is out to get me and will stop at nothing to destroy me. The manner of attack is calculatingly cold, but the next word is the more chilling one. It describes the place of attack. Nephesh is far more comprehensive than soul, including under its umbrella my thoughts, emotions, will and actions. Nephesh is the word for the essential “me.” In modern language, we might call this “person.” The enemy, says David, is pursuing my inner being. He is attacking me through my emotions, my thoughts, my desires, my wishes and my fears. He is undermining my will. I might be able to resist the onslaught of physical battle and the raids of circumstance, but how do I fight an enemy that lives inside me. David echoes Paul’s cry in Romans 7. Help me, Lord! I’m defeated by myself.

Just one verse earlier David begs God to withhold judgment. Now he tells the Lord why restraint is needed. It is the enemy who lays waste to David’s soul. The man who seeks God’s heart is defeated by a traitor in the ranks. The man who would be servant is defeated by a betrayer who would make him king.

If you have not experienced the battlefield of the interior, I question if you have engaged the enemy at all. Our encounters in the circumstances of life are merely skirmishes. The real battle occurs in the depths of the heart where molten malfeasance mingles with volcanic eruptions of emotional demands. Surely the enemy knows this territory better than we. He has had centuries of skillful practice in the art of inner warfare. Infected long ago, the cancerous litany passes from generation to generation until it arrives, well-honed, at my doorstep.

No wonder David cries for God’s reserve.

Have you engaged the enemy within? Do you know the agony of self-strife combat? God withholds the verdict while the battle rages. Will you call Him to aid?