Divine Vows

“You shall fear the LORD your God; you shall serve Him and cling to Him, and you shall swear by His name.” Deuteronomy 10:20

Cling – The marriage covenant is consistently portrayed as an example and a symbol of God’s covenant with His children.  From Deuteronomy to Hosea, the Old Testament uses the relationship of marriage to picture our relationship with God.  He is the faithful lover, the one who pursues, the one who cherishes.  We, on the other hand, are more often like Gomer (see the book of Hosea) than we are like the virtuous bride.  Much of the language of this marriage bond can be found in the Hebrew word davaq, seen in this verse and in the paradigm case in Genesis 2:24.  The verb means more than simply glued together.  It implies fidelity and faithfulness, holding on over the long run.  The word describes God’s reliability and consistency fastened to His covenant.  In  an age when marriage is little more than financial and sexual convenience, it’s good to be reminded that God’s point of view is not about a workable arrangement but rather about a permanent commitment regardless of the behavior of the other partner.

The reminder is a good one, but it is not the point of today’s examination.  What we need to notice is that the same Genesis 2:24 pattern occurs in this verse.  In the model for marriage, the husband forsakes his father and mother and clings (davaq) to his wife.  This is certainly not what we expect or what we practice.  I would venture to guess that you have never been to a wedding where the bride stood at the altar waiting for the husband to be given away by his parents.  Since the biblical model is clearly not patriarchal, you might ask where we got our marriage ceremony pattern.  What’s important is this:  a husband is to cling to his wife in the same way that we are to cling to God.  There are several other verses in the Bible that portray the same analogy.  In each one, God is represented by the woman, not the man.

There are two important implications here.  The first is obvious.  The quality of my marriage is determined by my long-term fidelity and attachment to my wife.  As a husband, I am required to break all other human relationship expectations and shift everything to her.  She cannot fulfill her role as ‘ezer (see Genesis 2:18 – helper) unless I cling to her.  In precisely the same way, God cannot fulfill the role of the ‘ezer of His children unless they cling to Him.  It’s worth noting that the ‘ezer is the faithful protector and provider, whether it is the wife or God Himself.

The second implication is that the comfortable orientation of the culture toward male dominance and patriarchal thinking does not seem to be part of the biblical pattern.  The role of the ‘ezer is established before the Fall.  God takes on this role throughout human history.  This should give us pause.  While feminism seems to be the wrong-headed attempt to replace male dominance with female dominance (and thereby turn women into men), the idea of a female orientation in biblical thinking may not be as strange as we first assume.  The God who chooses the second when men choose the first may just be the God who represents His deepest desires for relationship in terms of the divinely given role of the female, not the male.

This much is certain:  God expects us to cling to Him.  If you aren’t experiencing this in marriage, how do you expect to make it work with an invisible soul-mate?

Topical Index:  Marriage