Sex Problems
and they took their daughters to them for wives, and gave their daughters to their sons; and they served their gods Judges 3:6
Took – It’s a pattern that is repeated over and over in Scripture. Idolatry is introduced into God’s family through sexual relations with outsiders. Time after time, we see that as soon as Israel begins to intermarry with those who do not follow the path of YHWH, they fall under the influence of the imported gods. Idolatry enters on the wings of sexual attraction.
Remember how careful Abraham was when it came to the marriage of his son. He sent his servant back to the homeland to find a wife who came from a believing family. Isaac didn’t check the personal ads. He didn’t join a dating service. He didn’t even “fall in love.” His father arranged the marriage with someone who was a strong believer. Love came afterward. Attraction didn’t interfere with the most important decision – whom do you worship?
Remember what happened to Esau. He rejected the possibility of such arrangements. He took for himself two wives from the Canaanites. It was a disaster. The same mistake is repeated by Solomon (who certainly should have known better) and many others. Sexual attraction pushes aside spiritual commitment. No wonder the Bible has so much to say about its dangers.
If we pay attention to the choice of verbs in this verse, we see something else that reveals the nature of this danger. The Scriptures tell us that the sons of Israel took the daughters of these foreign cultures as wives. The verb is laqach. It is used to describe the actions of acquiring by purchase, seizing, snatching, carrying away, taking possession of and marrying. Of course, in this context we want to think of marrying, but notice the fuller meaning of this verb. All of the actions are forceful. All of the actions are possessive. All of the actions describe behavior that is about getting something that I want by nearly any means necessary. Isn’t it interesting that Scripture uses this kind of word to describe marriages outside the household? If this verse were written in Greek, the verb would be eros, not agape. Eros is a word about love, but it is love that desires to possess, not to give. That’s what we see happening here. The sons of Israel desired to possess the women of Canaan. What they didn’t realize, or didn’t care to consider, was that this desire to possess had disaster hidden under the covers. Their sexual interest destroyed their spiritual awareness.
Our culture doesn’t arrange marriages anymore. We are thoroughly committed to the Greek-Canaanite model. We think that marriage is about finding the perfectly compatible partner that will make us feel complete. We go about seeking to possess what we are missing. And when we find that special solution to our emptiness, we take it. I wonder if we realize the consequences. I wonder if we care. Maybe we need to really re-think how marriage works in God’s house. Maybe we need to put marriage completely in the hands of God. He usually knows what He’s doing. J
Topical Index: Marriage
