Not What It Seems

You husbands, likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow-heir of the grace of life; 1 Peter 3:7

Not What It Seems

Weaker Vessel – God establishes the marriage covenant as a living human witness to the actions He requires in His covenant with His people.  We are to “forsake” the old family loyalties – our ties to this world – and “cling” to the newly created union.  Properly understood, marriage is God’s sacramental symbol of His promise.  This is “yada according to yada“.  It is covenantal, sacred, holy and symbolic.  Clearly, the husband’s obligation in covenant relationship with his wife carries a very heavy spiritual weight.

Of course, in a Christian household, the first order of business is the spiritual condition of the marriage and that entails the full submission of the husband to his Lord and Savior.  The covenant relationship that he enjoys with his Lord is to be transferred in like manner to the covenant relationship with his wife.  This requires complete loyalty, fidelity and exclusivity.  Without this first step, all the rest of the knowledge he gathers is wasted.  Unless I treat my wife with the same regard and respect that I have for God, I will never enjoy the fullness of marriage as God intended.  She is my ‘ezer and I must act accordingly.

With this background in mind, we can look at the actions that a Christian husband must take.  First, he must recognize that his wife requires consideration for no other reason than that she is a woman.  She is not to be treated as a man.  She is special.

It is unfortunate that we often read this verse from a machismo perspective.  “Hey, I’m a man.  I’m stronger, tougher, bigger.  She’s a weak woman.  No wonder I should be in charge.”  But is that what Peter says?  Does he really suggest, contrary to everything he knows about submission and about God’s original design, that the reason men should be in control is because they are stronger?  Perhaps we need to take a closer look at Peter’s choice of words.

The Greek is asthenestero, a word that means “without strength”.  However, in the LXX this word translates many different Hebrew words, for example Genesis 29:17 where the context means gentle or tender, Numbers 13:18 and Job 4:3 where it means feeble, 2 Samuel 13:4 where it means puny, 2 Samuel 13:4 where it means the oppressed poor, or Psalm 6:3 where it means faint with despair.  We could go on since there are many more verses.  But I think you can see the problem.  This Greek word has no uniform one-to-one correspondence with Hebrew.  It all depends on the context.  That means that we can’t really determine what Peter had in mind from a Hebrew perspective.  We have only the Greek – “without strength”.  And that leaves us with this conclusion.  So what?  There is simply too much flexibility in the Hebrew to allow us to conclude that Peter is saying anything more than what is generally physically true.  There is absolutely no way to conclude from Peter’s use of asthenestero that men are superior to women.  In fact, to draw the conclusion that Peter prescribes a divine hierarchy of male superiority from this verse is to ignore everything we have learned about the Torah’s description of Woman.

However, if we reflect just a bit more on the idea of weakness in Scripture, we can see something deeper here.  God is the God of weakness (see John Timmer’s wonderful book God of Weakness).  Timmer says “God’s power is at work in our weakness and our dying rather than in our strength and our living.”  We all know this is true, and we are all grateful that it is true.  Without it, the foundations of our relationship to the Father would be shaken beyond repair.  Now, Peter knew this better than anyone.  Peter, the strong, brash, confident disciple had to learn the power of weakness before he could be useful to the Lord.  Don’t you suppose that a man who had to discover weakness in a most dramatic way would hold up weakness as a divine prize?

Peter is not endorsing physical prowess as a rationale for authority.  In fact, this is a man who knew that God’s strength is displayed in human weakness.  The weaker vessel she might be, but that brings her more in line with the way God uses human beings.  That is something every “stronger” vessel must honor.

Husbands, you may be stronger, but be careful that your strength does not lead you to diminish the God of weakness who put you in community with the one who represents the power of weakness.  Do not sin in your strength.  Learn humility in the presence of “the weaker vessel.”  If you don’t, do you think the God of weakness will be able to use you?

Topical Index:  weakness, vessel, asthenestero, ‘ezer