As By One Man
and when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit, and ate, and gave also to her husband with her; and he ate Genesis 3:6
With Her – “Why, oh, why did you come into my life? Why did God send you to me? Look what a mess you’ve caused? It’s all your fault!” Adam has a sad song to sing very soon after he and his ‘ezer kenedgo ate from the Tree. But when she offered him the fruit, he didn’t reject it. He didn’t say, “Now wait a minute. God said not to eat from this tree. Why are you doing this?” No, he went right along with her. Why?
The first thing we notice is that the Hebrew text makes it very clear that Adam was not off fishing while Havvah was conversing with the serpent. He was right there beside her! The Hebrew is ‘immah. It doesn’t just mean that he was standing there. It means that he was agreeing with everything that was happening. The preposition ‘im carries the meaning of something done together or in common. This is not the exclusive sin of the ‘ezer. This is mutual culpability.
My wife and I love doing things together. In fact, when we got married, we agreed that the life of the corporate world where husband and wife occupy two different realities was not for us. We tried to spend as much time as possible doing the same things. That has been increasingly difficult as we have weathered financial storms, but the truth is that when we can just spend the day together, we are very happy. I can only imagine what it must have been like for Adam and his ‘ezer. They were the only human occupants of God’s Garden. What joy it must have been to discover all that God put there, to walk hand in hand through the creation of the Lord, observing the perfect harmony of the ordered world. And Adam knew, in his bones, that the one walking beside him was exactly right for him. She was his complement in the perfect order of existence. So, it’s not surprising at all to find that he is right there during the serpent’s conversation.
What is surprising is that Adam doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t object, resist or challenge anything. He submits to her suggestion and follows her lead. Why? Isn’t he the one who is supposed to remember? Isn’t he the zakar? Of course he is. When God asks him why he ate of the fruit, he offers the reasonable excuse. “I just did what she told me to do. That’s what You made her for, God. To give me direction.” And he’s right. That is what the ‘ezer is supposed to do. She is responsible for her mate’s relationship guidance. Adam did what she said because he trusted her. But it was a huge mistake.
The woman fails to maintain the boundaries. She fails to recognize the difference between how she is made and how she might be made. Because she does not see the difference between being equipped by God and being self-sufficient, she steps over the line. And Adam follows. He forgets that the Lord told him something else. Both the man and the woman violate their essential, God-created character. But that’s what sin does. It violates who we really are.
Was it a mistake to trust her? No. The only place in the Bible where the Hebrew word for trust (batach) is used positively between human beings is in Proverbs 31:11. That verse instructs a man to trust his wife. In every other case, the use of batach as a positive declaration of trust is between a man and God. Adam was not wrong to trust her. A man is supposed to trust his wife in the same way that he trusts God. Adam’s problem is not trust. It’s remembering. When Adam fails to be who he really is – the one who remembers – then the slate is wiped clean and all that is left is trust. But trust without truth is sin. Trust without remembering the truth is like sailing without a compass. You can trust that the wind will fill the sails and propel you forward, but you have no idea where you are going. Paul was entirely correct to say, “As by one man, sin entered the world.” He did not have to say, “As by one woman.” Adam was right there, forgetting how God made him and what he was supposed to be.
The reason that I trust God is that He is unwaveringly true. That is the divine standard of the ‘ezer – action based on unwavering truthfulness. But since the Fall, everyone wavers. We need an outside voice of correction to correspond to our inside voice of direction. We need a compass that is not influenced by our idea of True North. Adam forgot the truth – and his trust killed him. Eve forgot her boundaries – and her step slew her.
If you are in complement with another, you will need both truth and boundaries before trust and direction can accomplish their purposes. Don’t confuse them no matter how desirable the fruit.
Topical Index: Adam, trust, with her, ‘immah, batach, boundaries, truth, Genesis 3:6
Skip,
I wanted to let you know how enlightening the “Today’s Word” is to me, and how much I enjoy reading and studying its contents. Also, I want to encourage you. I can only guess just how much time it involves to continually achieve the level of excellence displayed on a daily basis. And, at times I would guess that sending this out to an audience that may not always respond very often, I know that I do not, could be discouraging given the size of the audience and the daily work involved. Therefore, please know just how encouraging and enlightening “Today’s Word” is to this student.
Bless you and thank you.
Ray A. Pearl
California
Oh man, another excuse down the drain! 🙂
The complimentary relationship presented between the zakar and the ezer kenedgo certainly is illustrative and instructive. While I don’t want to go way off on a tangent here, it occurs to me that this principle re-enforces the one man/one woman marriage relationship. A man can’t be another man’s ezer kenedgo, or a woman another woman’s zakar.
I would appreciate some thought and comments on how what we see in Genesis relates to what Paul presents in 1 Cor 7, particularly v6-8, where he presents what appears to be a preference for “single-ness”. Does he perhaps predicate this preference on one having such a focused relationship with ADONAI that ADONAI Himself functions in the complementary role?
Extending that thought to the resurrection where it appears that marriage essentially becomes a moot point (Mt 22), do we look forward to exactly that…where ADONAI completes each of us by personally fulfilling that complementary role in our glorified existence?
An absolutely wonderful explanation of the marriage relationship. It proves once again that my book “LIFE IS SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED” hit a bulls eye with its subtitle “Why Marriage Is All About CLEAVING” as revealed by the image of the axe (man) stuck into a tree trunk (woman) and unable to separate without an external wedge (divorce). The secret is ‘total commitment ‘ by both parties.
My new book, “THE FORGOTTEN,” about the Korean War has already resulted in an invitation to meet the President of South Korea, Lee Myung-bak, on June 25th, the day the war started in 1950. Nearly three million people died in this horrific three year war. I’m leaving next week on June 18th to fly to Seoul, Korea. Please keep me in your prayers.
Thanks Ray. You understand the issues. At times it seems like it’s not making much difference, but my ezer kenegdo reminds me that I am not writing for the audience but for the King.
A very good insight, which I will use in the book (and cite you). Thanks. Another reason that homosexuality is one of the things God hates – it destroys the focus of relationship and the essence of the people involved.
Hi Skip,
I’m a little confused by your comment about how homosexuality destroys the focus of relationship.
As a father, I can sympathize with Dick Cheney’s situation, for example, where his daughter is a homosexual and he has learned to accept her partner.
I’m sure it was a “bitter pill” for him to swallow.
It seems to me that God created Cheney’s daughter with homosexual rather than heterosexual desire and that is already a “cross to bear.”
I think we need to feel compassion rather than hatred for her condition.
And pray that she can have a good relationship with God.
This verse is so packed with essential light I was able to put down my shovel and just rest in this truth. Thanks again Skip as God is redeeming my covenent with my ‘ezer. We have been divorced for over 22 years but have remained friends and ever since the healer of broken hearts has been healing this man He is also healing our relationship.
Maybe sometime in the future you could write an article about <>? I don’t know for sure but this seems to be a word about “presence.” I was thinking along the lines of “Immanuel or G-d with us” About this He says in Jeremiah 23 “`Am I God who is near,’ declares the LORD, `And not far off? -(A very present help in time of need). Thanks be to YWYH our “ezer.”
Maybe sometime in the future you could write an article about ? I don’t know for sure but this seems to be a word about “presence.” I was thinking along the lines of “Immanuel or G-d with us” About this He says in Jeremiah 23 “`Am I God who is near,’ declares the LORD, `And not far off? -(A very present help in time of need). Thanks be to YWYH our “ezer.”
[Reply]
maybe a third time?? ‘immah
Hey Michael,
I think you mis-read the statement. I did not say that God hates homosexuals. I said He hates homosexuality. Just as He hates lying, adultery, coveting, idolatry, murder, etc. We must carefully distinguish between the action and the actor here. However, that said we must also recognize that toleration is not the solution. If we live under God’s constitution, we do not “accept” homosexuality as as lifestyle choice. We see it as a sin, something that separates the actor from the will of the Creator. We show compassion because God is compassionate with us and all of our lifestyle choices, but we do not accept this choice as an equally valid option just as we do not accept murdering people as an equally valid option for dealing with anger. Does it really matter if it’s a bitter pill? Do you think that morality is determined by whether or not it is pleasant? I don’t think you do. I suppose you just reacted without thinking too clearly about this.
Why does homosexuality destroy the relationship? Simple. The woman is the ezer and nakavah. The man is the zakar. Both together make one flesh. But two ezerim do not make a complement, nor do two zakarim. If God designed the relationship to work with each part in complementary unity, you can’t make it work with two of the same parts.
Finally, I really don’t care if you were born homosexual. That argument is irrelevant. I was born with a propensity for adultery, lying, taking advantage of others when I thought I could, stealing and coveting. Does that mean I should just go ahead with those choices because they are part of my genetic makeup? Should I become an alcoholic because my father was? God is not interested in my propensities. He is interested in my choices – and I am called to choose to live according to His directions no matter how I feel about it and no matter what my predispositions are. The tragedy of all this is not in my biology. It is in my willingness to pretend that biology determines my actions. That is a post-modern belief that the biblical revelation completely dismisses as a worthy excuse.
Let us sympathize with all those who are affected by the sinful actions of others. Why should homosexuality be specifically targeted for sympathy? I sympathize with the victims of theft but that does not mean that I think stealing is just another life style choice. Your suggestion that God created Cheney’s daughter as a homosexual is equivalent to saying that God created Adam with the potential to sin and therefore it is not Adam’s responsibility to do anything else. He just couldn’t help it.
By the way, I have a propensity to steal from those who write about homosexual sympathy from a post-modern perspective. So, send me your address and I will come over right away and take your car. I can’t help it.
🙂 Thanks Michael for being such a great sounding board. Keep it up.
Skip,
I’m reminded of David’s words recorded in Psalm 51:5 “True, I was born guilty, was a sinner from the moment my mother conceived me. 6 Still, You want truth in the inner person; so make me know wisdom in my inmost heart.” (CJB)
We are full of excuses when it comes to ‘being conformed to the Image of Christ’ (Romans 8:29), aren’t we? Because it means our sure death. But we forget that it doesn’t stop there. There’s resurrection on the other side. And true, when the Ruach of Emet breaks in, He takes away and destroys those excuses, changing and enabling us to love people past their performances along the way. And opening our eyes to see that my sin and their sin – no matter how great or small – is just that…sin.
When I hear of a brother or sister who has fallen into adultery (or any other type of target-missing behaviors)…I grieve, give thanks to Him, and pray knowing that I, too, am just ‘this far’ away from the same life-wrecking, family destroying sin choices that are crouching outside my door. BUT for the GRACE of GOD who keeps me and reminds me to take shelter in Him by obeying His mitzvot ESPECIALLY when I’m not feelin’ it! And any parent knows that we do expect our children to obey our instruction – even when they don’t feel like it – b/c it’s for their great good…and it implies a certain trust until they do ‘feel it/get it’. My husband has a great saying to the kiddos and it’s for us as well: ‘Fake it ’til ya feel it’. Mimic the Master Himself that He may be formed in us all!
Until the Ruach sanctifies our very emotions/attitudes, we’ll have to say as Simon in Luke 5(5), ‘Master (I ain’t feelin’ it)…but because You said so, I will let down the nets.’
That’s the Truth and Trust that He desires at all cost….and praise ADONAI, HE puts chokmah in our hearts to see and understand the difference.
Thanks for your always concise words, Brother Skip.
Thanks for the reminder from Ps. 51:5, but the CJB version is filled with theological presuppositions. Be careful. It is not a translation that I trust.
Everything you say here is good stuff. Are you going to write a comment for my ezer book?
Skip
Thanks Skip, for your great concern for the Word. I do agree with you in that ‘only the original Hebrew and Greek are inspired of ADONAI’. David Stern is just a man and his NT commentary has been very helpful as I’ve studied the Hebraic roots of our faith through the years (he’s one of many I learn from). John Parsons is another wonderful teacher and I know he has some cautionary words as well to say about D.S.’s version. And still then, for clarity to all, it’s always wise to measure one translation against another always and then study the Hebrew and Greek word meanings…as you say ‘so much is lost in translation’. True!
And Skip, I’d LOVE to write a comment for your ezer book…but I have no idea where to start! I did listen to your audio file on ezer…and it rocked, of course.
Hi Carmen,
I agree, Skip’s words are always very concise. He has a pretty good memory too 🙂
And I found your words to be very meaningful this morning as well. I especially liked all the Hebrew ones.
One thing I learned from Skip is that without an understanding of Hebrew, it is nearly impossible to really appreciate the Bible. Unfortunately, at 60, it is nearly impossible for me to remember Hebrew words at all.
Take “chokmah” for example. I know I’ve seen this word at least a dozen times. But this morning, I read it in your “reply” as though for the first time.
When I looked it up, I realized that chokmah is a very important word for wisdom in the Hebrew “Architecture of Knowledge,” if I’m not mistaken.
Makes me think of Michelangelo’s Chapel of St Michael next to St Peter Peter’s throne for some reason.
I appreciate that Michael! We’re all on this same journey together in Yeshua…Mishpachah!!! (I’ll let you look that one up, too!) :o)
Great expanation Skip your right sin is sin we fall short no matter what our sexual inclinations are we were all born into sin, but that is no excuse as Paul would say about grace. Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound, God forbid. It is the same with my propensity to take drugs, I use to use the excuse I can’t help it I was born this way. Thank God that we can be set free from the body of sin and death, no longer does sin control my action through the metamorphosis of the new birth, born from above, not by my own works but the transforming power of the Holy Spirit.
A fellow traveler of the Way,
Jeffrey
I love the fact that God seems to be an “equal opportunity” offender? Doesn’t matter how we paint sin or cover it with this excuse or another, it is still sin and we all stand condemned before God apart from the atoning work of Christ on our behalf….Also, as fallen creatures saved only by God’s boundless grace, our response must always be “love the sinner, hate the sin”….but aren’t there passages in Scripture where God not only says He hates the sin but also hates the sinner? I think our problem today is that we don’t seem to have a clear picture of just what it means for God to be Holy.
The encounter that Isaiah had with the vision of the Lord in Isaiah 6 is an encounter that all of us must come to if we are truly going to understand what it means for fallen humans to meet the infinite perfection of a Holy, Just and Righteous God: “Woe to me! I cried. I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.”…
I so agree with you David Salyer – there is a balancing scale of mercy/grace vs judgment/wrath – it will always be this way. You cannot have one without the other or it will not balance be perfect & holy as He is perfect/Holy – as we are to be like Him. Actually God’s judgment/wrath is perfect love & casts out fear. He is the only one who can vindicate & give retribution which allows us to become more transformed into His image & that is why satan was cast to earth – he/satan is used for God’s purposes otherwise he would have been destroyed. God is the God of economy in all things – He never wastes a minute of eternity or getting us there with Him. Of course our finite minds cannot wrap themselves around all this & are probably not supposed to since things went down the way they did in The Garden. 🙂
I don’t typically disagree with David and think he is asking a question up above.
And I’m on board with most of your comments as well.
With the following exception:
If wrath is perfect love, why should I care if God hates or is angry if I eat pork (sin)?
Actually, I do not eat pork and am not a homosexual, in case you are wondering 🙂
You guys are all GREAT. I love listening in.
Skip
This is so good I sure am glad that through the unseen Hand of God that we have been led into this walk of fellowship. I for one lift praise to YHWH!!!!