Preparing To Fear
YHWH is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? Psalm 27:1
Fear – The children of Israel read the 27th Psalm in preparation for Rosh Hashanah. They do this as a matter of preparation for repentance (teshuvah from the verb shuv). Why is the 27th Psalm so important to the beginning of the Jewish year? The answer is discovered in examining how fearful our true selves really are. An enormous pain accompanies a deep and penetrating examination of what I am really like. So often I discover within me the unrelenting power of the yetzer ha’ra. I find all kinds of dark corners where God’s light is not allowed to reveal my secrets. I discover my monstrous ego, ready and willing to defend its desires and its “honor” at anyone’s expense. No matter how carefully I have tried to uphold God’s Torah, I always uncover areas where I have failed. I assert the truth of Ecclesiastes 7:20, “There is no one on earth that does only good and never sins.” John simply reiterated this Hebrew insight when he said, “If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). It’s a terrible and terrifying thing to look deep within, but it’s the only way to really prepare for fear. Rabbi Burnam taught, “Our great transgression is not that we commit sins: Temptation is strong and our strength is weak. No, our transgression is that at every instant we can turn to God — and yet we do not turn!” We must learn to fear the power of the yetzer ha’ra, a power which we cannot destroy but only domesticate, if we will. Fearing myself is the preparation to fearing the Lord, and fearing the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
Ah, but now you will say, “This makes me feel so unworthy. This makes me feel so rotten. Why should I dwell on these things when most of the time I do what’s right?” Most of the time the Herpes Simplex virus simply co-exists with the healthy body, causing no ill effects. It’s there, dormant and disguised. But sometimes things get out of balance and the virus comes raging to the front. Now I can’t ignore it. It’s all over me. Of course, if I pretend that I don’t carry the virus all the time, then I won’t take the steps to prevent its outbreak and I’ll be surprised and dismayed when my mouth is suddenly attacked by cold sores. The yetzer ha’ra is always there, providing passion and energy. Pretending it is not part of being human is a fool’s errand. Pretending it is controllable without the Spirit is a dangerous diversion. And when I really look, when I really peel away the onion of “goodness”, I discover there is a lot more for God to deal with than I thought. Adam was right to fear himself. He just didn’t realize how much.
Of course, David gives us hope. I can’t look into the dungeon of my soul too long without relief, but mood-altering aspirin won’t fix things. In the morning, the dungeon will still be there. God must open the dungeon door and shine the light of the Spirit on what I find in there. It will sear, but it will cure. My hope is in the Lord, not in me. He is able. I am not. But I have to look. So, even when it comes to the deepest of all fears, I can trust that He knows what to do. “Lord, take me. Burn me up on Your altar that I may live again by your Spirit. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I will look. Help me see and then blind me.”
Topical Index: fear, yare, Ecclesiastes 7:20, Psalm 27:1, 1 John 1:8, yetzer ha’ra
G-d is holy. No argument here. I agree, He is. He is holy far beyond my most vivid or active imagination. How do I know this? It is written. Holy,holy, holy the angels surrounding His throne cry out day and night. His name is holy. His nature is holy. Of all of the ascribed attributes of YHWH, holiness is first and foremost. Always and forever He is holy. This is our G-d. The separation between a holy G-d and a sinful man is really not a matter of how “bad” or “sinful” we are, but how holy He is. If all the wrong we ever did our entire life long was to steal a pencil, this one act aone would keep us out of heaven, because heaven is a perfect, sinless place. If I offered a tall glass of clear cool water with only one drop of gasoline added, I’m sure anyone would have no problem at all declining my offer. What to do about this “sin” problem? (For all have sinned have come short of the glory of G-d). Even our righteousness- the very best we have to offer ( remember Cain?) is as filthy rags. (Isaiah 64.6) Does this leave us without any hope at all of ever being reconciled to G-d? Can we (as bonafide sinners) ever approach or have fellowship with the Holy ONE as Adam once knew before he fell? How is this possible? What can wash away my sin? What can make me whole again? I need atonement. I need propitiation. I need a Savior. Who has the power to forgive sins? As Moses’ Teachings tell us, blood was used to cleanse almost everything, because if no blood is shed, no sins can be forgiven. (Hebrews 9.22) Thank you Yeshua HaMaShiach, perfect Lamb of G-d, for the sinless sacrifice of your holy blood on the execution stake. You died for me as an atonement for my sins and then rose victorious over sin, sorrow, suffering and separation on the third day. Today you live as my intercessor and my Sovereign G-d. I will forever praise and worship your holy name.
Carl,
Your description of one drop of gasoline in a glass of water struck a chord with me. I have long wondered what would happen if we thought of the crucifixion in those terms. Christ’s blood actually fell to the ground. It either soaked in or washed in. Then it was recycled as are all liquids, and gave life to the next thing. Imagine it going into the water table. How many living things and beings with the ‘breath of life’ would it nourish? How diffused would it have to be before it no longer made an impact? In how many living beings today could a trace of that DNA be found? Not trying to get into some kind of philosophical argument here, just something I think about sometimes . . .
Hi Skip,
On an unrelated note to “Preparing to Fear” (which really spoke to me by the way), I was just wondering if you observe Yom Kippur and participate in the day of fasting? Does G-d desire that we do?
John and I had an opportunity to go to a Yom Kippur service last night held by a Messianic believing Jewish congregation. It was SO special to me and held MUCH more meaning than it would have a year ago (before being made aware of the importance of the Hebrew way of thinking, by you).
It just dawned on me…if you do observe, then you probably won’t be answering emails today.
If that’s the case, maybe tomorrow or another day you could reply.
Shalom Judi,
Not speaking for Skip here …. just Yeshua! 🙂
Yes ELOHIM desires and commands that Israel observe Yom Kippur and all of the Mo’adim. We are grafted into the root and greater community of Israel … it is ELOHIM’s desire that native born Israelites and the strangers amongst them … and the adopted children … partake of HIS goodness. Torah is for all of HIS children …. both Jew and Gentile …. and the Mo’adim are very special components of our life cycle in Yeshua!
I am so joyous to hear that your experience at a Messianic Jewish congregation was special. Our congregation also had a wonderful service last night as well. The Kol Nidre was amazing …. Rabbi Mark was greatly anointed and Ruach HaKodesh was with us … pouring out in abundance!
How awesome it is to fellowship together while recognizing Yeshua as the eternal kapporah (sin offering) and Kohein HaGadol (High Priest). When the Hebrew traditions, culture and practices are aligned by faith in Yeshua it can only be described as “complete”! Our Gentile traditions simply are out of alignment with the Biblical ways and just can not compare!
And by the way …. we get this type of “special” outpouring on Erev Shabbat and Yom Shabbat …. every week of the year! 🙂
I am always afraid of introspection. Over the years I seem to have found it is a dead end to go looking around inside myself trying to analyze my sins, motivations and inclinations. Things inside me (us) seem so incredibly complex that I never seem to be able to sort things out. I have found I am better off “looking away” from me and looking at Him. (Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord…) In looking at Him I can readily see where I come up short. Looking at him I see a great positive example of who and what I want to be. E. Stanley Jones once said, “we become like what we look at.” I don’t want to spend time looking at me and the beast inside. I want to look at Him and seek to become more like Him. Hopefully that tames the beast.
amen Pat! “looking unto Jesus” -“not a casual glance but a continual gaze..” How much of my day is spent thinking of Him? (whom my soul loves!)..
Pat, I appreciate your thoughts. I too do not like looking inside myself. What I find, however, is there are times, when not looking in, what is inside comes out to taunt me, a little like the cold sores that Skip mentioned. I guess for me, it is time that I go looking, allowing God to shine his light and cure what ails me. Like Paul, I am sure I will cry “wretched man that I am.” I do have the confidence, however that salvation is mine. It can get better, however.