Derailed
Consider my affliction and my travail; and forgive all my sins. Psalm 25:18
Consider – David isn’t like me. At least he’s not like me in his wholehearted cry to the Lord. We may share other things. His faults maybe my faults, but God Himself recognized that David continued in faithful direction even if he was derailed once in awhile. I am more like the description of the spiritually impoverished man in Abraham Heschel’s words, “We do not refuse to pray. We merely feel that our tongue is tied, our mind inert, our inner vision dim, when we are about to enter the door that leads to prayer. We do not refuse to pray; we abstain from it. We ring the hollow bell of selfishness, rather than absorb the stillness that surrounds the world,”[1]
I want to pray. I want to listen to the voice of my God. I desperately need His comforting reassurance, the symphony of His care. At times my concerns for those I love overcome my trepidation, my unworthiness, and I stammer affirmation of His sovereignty. I know He cares. I know He even cares about me, but I feel His silence as if a vise closed around my body. Why? God has not abandoned me. I have failed Him. When I am derailed by circumstance, emotion or temptation, I miss the mark of His blessing. I find myself on a spur, switched to another direction. I cease to pray because I know that I am not on the main line and I don’t know what to do about it. How often I need to remember Brother Lawrence’s straightforward approach to sin. Repent, accept the unwavering grace of the Lord, trust His word of faithful comfort, and get back on the track.
David is able to ask God to “consider” his affliction and travail. This is a noble word from a broken heart. Ra’ah (to see) is metaphorical for looking into the heart of a matter. No one hiding from the Lord would ever ask to be considered. Adam did not want the Lord to consider him. He wanted to cover his shame (which was not nakedness, by the way) and hide. I am much more like Adam than David. But David is a son of Abraham, and so am I. There is hope for me too. Even when I hide, God asks, in surprise, why I am not standing by His side. He expects me to be there. That is my destiny. He is always surprised when I do not fulfill the purpose for which I was born. His surprise is my shame. I don’t want to be like this – afraid to pray. I want conversation with Him. I want to be known, but because I know my own faults and failures so well, I simply can’t imagine that there is a God who could love me in spite of them. And the cancer in my imagination, that tumor of disbelief, really shouts out how little I actually trust Him. He promises to forgive me when I come in contrite humiliation. It is only my distorted sense of rebellion and unworthiness that prevents His promise from affecting my life. It isn’t that I want to pray but am unable. It is that I refuse to pray because I am unwilling. I am unwilling to admit that my failure is not grounds for His rejection, that there is no inverted pride in spiritual distance and that He loves me when I do not love Him or me.
“Consider.” Lord, look at me. Yes, I know you will often find things I detest, things I do not want to see, things I pretend are not me. But look anyway. And peel away the layers of my resistance. Remove the scales so that what I know may become what I see too. Let me see me as you see me. Consider my afflictions. They start here, in me.
Topical Index: consider, affliction, ra’ah, see, Psalm 25:18
[1] Abraham Heschel, Spiritual Audacity and Moral Grandeur, p. 340.
Skip, this was so good to read today. It really describes what I’ve been experiencing from time to time.
Yah bless you,
lisa
I am unwilling to admit that my failure is not grounds for His rejection, that there is no inverted pride in spiritual distance and that He loves me when I do not love Him or me…
Wow!
As I ask myself, “How could my Holy Father search through the mire of my life; see past my failures and reach down from his Holy Place and wrap his arms around me in spite of my anger, rebellion and faithlessness”?
The only answer I have is Jesus and His love for me and the grace of a heavenly father I often find hard to understand.
This spoke volumes to me today Skip.
May God continue to bless you!
Greg
Amen! Me too! Powerful, Skip. Thank you.
“And the blood of Jesus Christ G-d’s Son, (Jesus who is the Christ, G-d the Son) cleanses from all sin.” (1 John 1.7) ..”for it is the blood that makes atonement” (Leviticus 17.11)
When we pray, the access to the very holies of holies we have been given, is through the torn veil of the temple. It is because of and through the shed blood of the Lamb of G-d, we now have access to the Father. We come to Him “covered” by the atoning blood of Calvary’s lamb.
Let this be your prayer today.. “Cover me, cover me” – and then, (and only then)- “enter in.”
Only one thing “separates” us from Him. That “one thing” is sin. “But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.” (Isaiah 59.2)
“Our iniquities”. G-d is holy. We are sinners. By birth, by nature, and by choice. What to do? Is there a cure? Is there a covering? Is there any way for sinful man to be “reconciled” to his Creator?
Yes! Praise His name! G-d has provided a Lamb. A “mediator” between G-d and man, -the man Christ Jesus. (I Timothy 2.5)
“absorb the stillness that surrounds the world”
Hi Skip,
Great lesson and Psalm 25 is one of my favorites, in my Bible subtitled “Prayer in Danger.”
I know I am in danger whenever I feel shame or fear; clear signs that I am “Derailed.”
If I want to get back on track, all I need is Psalm 25 and my “role model” David.
What does David do? Well, he starts by turning to God:
“To you, Yahweh I lift up my soul,
O my God.
I rely on you, do not let me be shamed.”
Then David asks God to show him the way, to get him back on track:
“Yahweh make your ways known to me,
teach me your paths”
And what does David find on Yahweh’s paths:
“All paths are love and truth
for those who keep his covenants and decrees.”
Of course, David will always praise Yahweh’s name and ask forgiveness for his sins.
But in my mind, the most important point of Psalm 25, if we want to feel free from fear and shame, is David’s focus:
“My eyes are always on Yahweh,
for he releases my feet from the net.
Turn to me… “
Is there a ‘right way’ to pray? I grew up accepting Christ as my Savior at 8 and in the church; my grandfather was a Baptist preacher, but we were never ‘taught’ to pray. I always feel ‘I am not doing it right’ and wonder if there is a catechism, or or ritual or something I can follow. Any suggestions?
Hi Melanie,
I like the Lord’s prayer.
Wow Melanie.. -now there’s a loaded question. I’d actually like to be so foolish enough to attempt an answer for you.
You have indicated “accepting Christ as your Savior at the age of 8.” The first question I would ask you Melanie is this: Is Jesus Christ your Savior? Do you have complete assurance of your salvation? Maybe we should just (for now) call it quits right here until question #1 has been answered. (Why?) Only because everything hinges on this one issue. This is the beginning. Is Jesus Christ (the Son of G-d and G-d the Son) your Savior and do you know this?
I certainly do not wish to come across “mean-spirited” or narrow-minded, etc. but simply to establish “relationship.” Is He, (assuredly) your Savior?
Maybe we need to reflect on some thought from Heschel.
Being a Jew is a part of a continued existence. Suddenness of conversion is alien to our mentality. P. 9
All that is creative in man stems from a seed of endless discontent.” P. 31
Who is a Jew? A person in travail with God’s dreams and designs; a person to whom God is a challenge, not an abstraction. He is called upon to know of God’s stake in history; to be involved in the sanctification of time and in building of the Holy Land; to cultivate passion for justice and the ability to experience the arrival of Friday evening as an event. P. 32
Faith means: If you ever once merit that the Hidden One appears to you, be faithful to Him all the days of your life. Faith means: To guard forever the echo which once burst upon the deep recesses of our soul. P. 64
Yes I know that Christ is my Savior, though I feel pretty lost when it comes to communing with God. Oddly – or not – depending on opinon, I am good at Intercessory prayer for others, but when it comes to myself and personal ‘communion’ I was never taught – or told – what one should or shouldn’t feel or experience within prayer and communion with God. I grew up where the people were sincere and committed but women did not speak in front of me in prayer – though they could pray for/with children and other women. Seen and not heard…I did not get a lot of guidance in this area of my walk with God and sometimes I feel very close but there is so much contradiction: “Do not pray as the heathen – rambling – God knows your needs”, and/or “Pour out your heart to God”. I am the type that needs a little outline or something – structure – and I feel lost without it and did not receive it in the church I attended, though I do not doubt their sincerity. I just thought I’d ask if anyone had any suggestions along these lines. Thank you, and bless this wonderful community of believers…I have not had such fellowship and caring to be a part of in a long time.
Hallelujah!- we are His! This is the starting point of all prayer as we see modeled in Yeshua’s prayer- “our Father”. This in itself speaks of access and intimacy. Our dear Bible is so tied with our prayer-life- the two cannot live without each other. Let your constant question be: “what saith the scripture?
The main thing you need to recognize and realize Melanie is the same for us all and that is to know we have “access” unto the Father. His words are just as true for you as they are for me or anyone else who is a follower of the Way. “Whosoever will may come.” We have open access to the heart of the Father. It is true. Christ made this possible through the torn veil of the temple. (that is His flesh.)
I’d like to ask you a simple question. (Prayer is not complicated at all- it is as simple as a child talking with her Father.) The question is: -how did you learn to ride a bicycle? or learn to swim? In short, we learn by doing. Just do it. Pray, pray weakly, pray ineffectively, pray haltingly, with stammering lips- but pray. We learn by doing. Pray when your joyful and feel like praying. Pray when you sad and feel disappointed with G-d. Thank Him for the summer breeze that blows on your face. Thank Him for the beauty of a child. Thank Him for your ability to breath in and out. Thank Him for the ability to taste and enjoy the food you eat.
Let prayer become a lifestyle and yes, a habit. A day without prayer is like a day without sunshine! Short prayers, long prayers, skinny prayer/fat prayer! He is wothy!
Would G-d delight in answering this prayer? “LORD- teach me to pray!” (Oh yes, He would! – and yes, He will! lol!)
I love to pray. I’ll pray upside down and inside out! There just isn’t anything on the planet better than prayer. Nuthin’.
Enter into your “secret place” and tell Him- “it’s me and you LORD, and I am here- Where are you?” Learn to wait upon the LORD. He’ll show up- just wait upon Him. Let the word of G-d dwell in you richly and then revel in His words as the dear Holy Spirit makes Yeshua “real” to you.
Prayer changes the prayer! Or more understandably- prayer changes the one who prays!
If you make prayer a priority- you’re gonna see some changes in the lady in the mirror!
Prayer is one of the worst kept secrets on the planet. If people ever found out what true prayer can do- they would line up around the block waiting to pray! (Of course- they could pray while they were waiting- lol!)
I hope other contribute to this post as well, but one of my favorite books on prayer is “Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home” by Richard Foster. Simple, yet impactful.
One great comfort to me, Melanie is the command(?) in scripture to “be followers of G-d as dear children and walk in love” (Ephesians 5:1). This is my confession- “when it comes to prayer, -I am a child” and Melanie, I like it that way!
Purposefully/intentionally pray. Set aside time (and times) to pray. “Enter in.” You are His child!
“the type that needs a little outline or something – structure”
Hi Melanie,
Basically, I agree with Carl, but I tend to have two different objectives when I pray.
And depending on my state of mind, I focus on one or the other.
Most of the time I focus on prayer and I use the Lord’s prayer (Our Father…).
I try to focus on each line and when I lose focus I repeat the line until I mean what I say.
I will repeat this process until I get the prayer right from end to end.
Less frequently I meditate; just trying to focus on the here and now (presence).
I try to stop thinking thoughts about the future or past (good mental discipline).
When it comes to meditation and prayer, I try to keep it simple and fun.
But I tend to pray a little every day and it has had a very big impact on my life.
Hope this helps.
Great word, Skip. The groaning in my spirit sounds a lot like yours.
I don’t know if this helps anyone or not…regarding how to pray….
but…
I prayed earnestly a couple of months back (over and over) for Yah to teach me how to pray in a way that’s pleasing and right to Him.
Shortly after that – I was invited to spend Shavuot with a lady a few hundred miles away from me. Family out of work for 18 mos meant I couldn’t afford financially, to get there…but this lady already had it in her heart to pay my way there…. (this also was my first time in over 3 years to finally get to meet another believer/follower in Yeshua!!)
Long story short…while there, keeping Shavuot (for the first time), I heard a teaching called Amidah (by Rico Cortes). I’d never heard of the Amidah OR Rico before this.
Anyway, it’s wasn’t very long into the teaching that I realised Yah was answering my pleas – my cries to be taught how to pray. This is not to say the teaching is 100% – but I believe Yah helped me sift what He wanted me to begin to grasp and that was:
How to approach His Throne. (humbly)
And how to begin my prayers to Him (putting Him first – fully acknowledging HE is the ONE true Elohim above all)
When to put in my petitions (needs, desires)
Repentance….
And how to close my prayer to Him.
Also, after that, He led me to read Ecclesiastes which really underlined to me how I need to listen when I’m praying (listen to Him, I mean)….and to be very careful of making a vow that I may not later keep….and things like that. It’s just really began to sink it how serious my prayer time is with Him.
Also, a little side-nugget I got out of the Amidah teaching that BLEW me away was the part about how during each 24 hour cycle – somewhere on the planet there are Jews praying for lost Israel….and in this Amidah teaching, Rico spoke about how Abraham had asked Yah – if there were just 10 righteous men in Sodom and Gomorrah – would Yah save the place and Yah answered yes. This somehow hit me that when heavy judgements start coming down hard (because Judgement begins in His House) just think how amazing it will be in those cities where there ARE 10 righteous men, petitioning Yah regularly, humbly….and how Yah will hide those who seek Him diligently and humbly, under His Wings.
Hope that makes sense to someone!!
Hi Lisa,
That’s a lovely story, and very helpful!