The “I” in the Sky

I said to myself, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure.  So enjoy yourself.”  And behold, it too was futility.  Ecclesiastes 2:1  NASB

I said to myself – The world is filled with people who have reached the end of their ropes.  They find life pointless or worse.  They manage a day at a time.  They have lost hope.  Whether they live in an industrialized nation or the poorest of the third world, life no longer has intrinsic value for them.  The monotony of the routine robs them of any real significance.  By the way, if you thought this was true only of the destitute, you would be very wrong.  There are plenty of CEOs and celebrities who don’t know why they keep going.  It’s all so boring!

When you read the Teacher’s statements in this section of Scripture, it’s worth counting the number of times the word “I” occurs.  About 29 times in less than 20 verses.  What doesn’t show up in the English translation is the fact that most of the verbs describing effort and acquisition in this section have a Hebrew particle, li, attached to them.  In other words, all of the actions are for myself (li).  Koheleth’s focus is the same “I” centered activity so prominent in our culture.  “I, me, me, mine” sang the Beatles, a tune that would have resonated with this ancient sage.  When the world is reduced to what it can do for me, life itself becomes a twisted maze of frustration and disappointment.  “I said to myself” (amarti ani) is the equivalent of having a conversation with my own yetzer ha’ra, and as we discovered in the Garden, the yetzer ha’ra has an insatiable appetite.

Perhaps you know someone who is fighting the desire to find personal fulfillment along the pathway of labor and acquisition.  Perhaps you are that person.  You’ve thought that life’s real purpose is gain – financial, relational or emotional.  You just want a little more in order to be happy.  Koheleth’s analysis is for you.  “I, me, me, mine” is a death spiral into personal meaninglessness.  The one who needs just a little bit more to be fully alive will starve to death.

God directs us to the opposite goal.  If you want to live with purpose and meaning, you will have to give it away.  What is it that you must give away?  Whatever it is that you are convinced you must have more of.  God’s plan is distribution, not accumulation.  No one can be a fountain for the truth if he first attempts to be a reservoir of personal care.  What God pours in must be poured out or the flow will slow and stop.

Consider what you are holding on to for dear life.  Just how dear is it?  Is it worth your life?

Topical Index:  I said to myself, amarti ani, I, fulfillment, Ecclesiastes 2:1