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He walked in all the way of Asa his father. He did not turn aside from it, doing what was right in the sight of the Lord. Yet the high places were not taken away, and the people still sacrificed and made offerings on the high places. 1 Kings 22:43 ESV
Turn aside – Jehoshaphat was 33 when he became king in Judah. His reign was marked by peace. But there was just one tiny problem. All of the pagan worship sites were not removed. Although this ultimately resulted in further apostasy, it is noteworthy that the Scripture says Jehoshaphat did not turn aside. Personally, he was guiltless. But as the corporate leader, he assumed responsibility for the sins of the people. Is this a lesson that should shake the confidence of every self-proclaimed leader today? Personal righteousness is not quite enough for those who assume the mantle of authority.
Perhaps there is an application to the use of the same word in Proverbs. The Hebrew here is sar (“he did not turn” – lo-sar). This is the same verb used in Proverbs 22:6, “and when he is older he will not turn aside from it.” In the wisdom literature, this verb is often used to express obedience, or the lack thereof, to God’s instructions. The relationship between the use of the word in 1 Kings and the advice of Proverbs is insightful. Just as Jehoshaphat’s personal righteousness was only part of the equation of his role as leader, a parent who stands personally guiltless before the Lord may yet fail as a leader of his or her children. The ability of the child to discover and enjoy the full destiny God has in mind is, in some respect, also the responsibility of the parent. To have a child is to assume the mantle of authority, not an authority of rules and regulations but rather an authority of actualization. Parenting means taking on the role of the one who helps to set the course for God’s actualization in the life of the child.
Read Proverbs 22:6 again with this in mind. Why won’t the child turn aside from the path? Because the parents have so well understood the fulfillment of God’s plan in the life of that child, and communicated that vision so carefully, that the child discovers who he is in exercising that plan. Why would I turn aside from the very thing I was born to be? The issue is not behavioral discipline. The use of the word with Jehoshaphat shows us that the issue is accepted responsibility. Parents, just like the king with his subjects, discern God’s hand in the lives of their children. They are responsible for transmitting that discernment to the child in such a way that the child fully embraces what God (not the parents) have in store. Then parents can stand before the throne personally guiltless and corporately complete.
Jehoshaphat followed God. His people did not. As king, he was accountable. What happens when we apply this lesson to ourselves as parents? May God forgive us.
Topical Index: 1 Kings 22:43, sar, turn aside, Jehoshaphat, Proverbs 22:6
I love what you say in this blog: why would I turn aside from the very thing God has called me to be?
“Parenting means taking on the role of the one who helps to set the course for God’s actualization in the life of the child.”
Pro Verb 5:1 My son, give attention to my wisdom, Incline your ear to my understanding
Pro Verb 5:2 That you may observe discretion And your lips may reserve knowledge
Pro Verb 5:3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech
Pro Verb 5:4 But in the end she is bitter as Wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword
Hmmm “Wormwood” is a very Shakespearean expression
Pro Verb 5:13 “I have not listened to the voice of my teachers,
Nor inclined my ear to my instructors
Pro Verb 5:14 “I was almost in utter ruin In the midst of the assembly and congregation.”
Pro Verb 5:15 Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well.
Pro Verb 5:16 Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets?
Pro Verb 5:17 Let them be yours alone And not for strangers with you.
Pro Verb 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. (GOD)
Pro Verb 5:19 As a loving hind and a graceful DOE, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love.
Pro Verb 5:20 For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress
And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?
Pro Verb 5:21 For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the LORD
And He watches all his paths.
Pro Verb 5:22 His own iniquities will capture the wicked
And he will be held with the cords of his sin.
“Parenting means taking on the role of the one who helps to set the course for God’s actualization in the life of the child.”
I don’t want to give anybody the wrong impression
At school I was a pretty good teacher and at work I taught some folks a thing or two
But when it comes to teaching my own two children
I must rank with the world’s worst
Not many comments on this TW! And I know why… Makes me feel quite humble and guilty when I read this. Makes me feel a complete failure, really. I did such a bad job as a father…. What can I do now? Both my daughters are straying away from Gods Words. Is it my fault? The result of me messing up life in the past? What can I do now? I want to get rid of the old, but I can never make undone what I did…. God, how I need You!
Dear Kees,
I don’t know any parent who has not expressed the same concern. Part of parenting is realizing how ill-equppped we were for the task and how little we actually relied on the text. But there is hope. Becoming human is the road to recovery, not only for the present but also for the past. Ruth is our model. Hesed is our method.
I have two teens and an 11 year old in the house. They are well-behaved children, but I worry that they have not internalized much of this kind of responsibility, indeed, …. I have only begun the process myself. I have missed so many opportunities and I’ve set a poor example for so many years – I have begged God not to hold my children responsible for the bad parenting they’ve recieved. And yet,…
… as I’ve said before, my wife and children have been incredibly open to these ideas — but I worry about straining the gnat and swallowing the camel, of implementing Torah in a way that neglects the ‘wieghtier matters’, and so I have not been a great steward of these truths in my house. I’ve been paralyzed by the thought of “doing Torah wrong”, and how this would sour the taste of discipleship to my family. However, I can’t imagine being in a much better position to follow this path.
I thank God for this forum and the encouragement it gives me, but I would appreciate any and all prayers for steadfastness and courage.