Compassion and Community

“Well I am writing this note to you, as I prepare to face another Memorial Day.  For my family everything changed on April 1, 2004 for that is the day 2 Marines, dressed in their dress-blues came to my home at 10:30pm to tell me, that Dusty was killed in Fallujah, Anbar Providence.  He was 18 yrs. old.  We are from Texas, and my son Dusty, was as cowboy as they come.  I never will forget when he got his orders to go to Iraq, that he told me that as per what they were directed to take, they were to prepare 1 set of civilian clothes to wear because as Dusty told me, they were hoping to mingle with these people.  Dustin informed me, that he would take his wrangler jeans, and cowboy boots….. and I said Dusty, I will send you a pair of tennis shoes son, his reply mom…. its boots and spurs or nothing.   Anyway when Dusty got his orders to go to Iraq, I had him for the last Christmas, which was Dec. 2003.  I remember that he graduated out of boot camp in Sept. 2003 in San Diego, Ca. and I remember seeing him graduate, and was shocked that he looked like he had gotten out of a prisoner war camp, he had lost so much weight, well really he was always very slim but now he looked emaciated, and had a hacking cough.  He knew, my eyes and smiled saying Mom, its over thats why they call it bootcamp because you only want to go through it once.  Anyway, when he came back to spend Christmas for us, wow he looked beautiful as he walked towards his family, at the airport.  His sister Danielle, dressed like an elf, shoes and all, his little brother Derek beaming with pride as he ran towards his brother the marine.  Well, he carried with him, his duffle bag, and a black briefcase, that he held onto, and so as mom’s do, I noticed it and kept it in my heart.  We, celebrated Christmas, and I cooked tons.  Then Dec. 26th came, and as I drank my morning coffee, Dusty came to me and gathered us all , and brought out that black brief case:  and he said guys, I have received my orders, I will be going to Iraq.  I am a mortarman.  He, knew my silence as I intently once again looked at him, and with just me around him this is what he said.  Mom, you know this is how I see it:  If something happens to me in Iraq, I go home to be with JESUS MY FATHER, and I will be with Grandpa David, and if I get to come back to the states, then I will come back to you guys….. so you see Mommie, I win either way!  So, the last day I had with him was Dec. 31, 2003, we had to take him to the airport early.  Something held up, the departing of the plane, and yes I was crying a heavy cry, and Dusty came back towards me 3 times, and I got to kiss the nape of his neck and hold him 3x, and 3x he said to me emphatically, Momma you will see me again.   and the was the last time I saw my baby.  Now, 9 years later through sheer hell and back, I finally understand what Dusty meant when he said:  I win either way.  Most of us never think we will bury our children, we usually assume that they will bury us.  But, for me that was not so, and so I am a witness to how Father used my 18 yr. old son to teach me a treasured lesson, and now to you Mr. Skip Moen, thank you for allowing me, this time to give you a little of my story and to humbly thank you for your teachings, because I know Father has used you to reach this mama, and help her to not get cemented into the past but, just glimpse back and see how Father has carried me through it all, and now I can go foward.  Dusty, was right, I will see him again!!!

thank you”

elisa