The Addict
Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Proverbs 23:29 NASB
Woe – This verse describes the alcoholic, but it might as well be attributed to any addict. Consider the characteristics. This person feels woe. What does that mean? He despairs of life. It’s all gray. His ups are downs. His downs are dark. What is the point of living if life is blah? He has sorrow. A little wordplay in Hebrew. Woe is ‘oy. Sorrow is ‘avoy, another expression that means, “Oh! What a terrible state I am in.” He has contentions. Strife, judgments, restrictions, confinement. Life works against him. He’s hemmed in, chained up, obligated! He has complaints. “Things just don’t go my way.” “I don’t deserve this.” “You should treat me better.” In the end, it’s all about me! He has wounds without cause. Ah, but what are those? “Without cause” is the Hebrew hinnam. It essentially means something without giving or taking compensation, something in vain. What’s interesting is that this word is derived from hanan, the word for “grace.” The addict feels he has been hurt unjustifiably. He doesn’t see grace in chastisement. He sees affliction. He doesn’t recognize tough love. He sees rejection. His lens is turned on the injury, not the purpose. And he has red eyes, the universal symbol of too much to drink. But perhaps there’s a bit more here. His eyes reflect a soul in danger. Red, bloodshot, empty windows into a world of torturous existence.
“Hello, my name is ________ and I am powerless over _________.” Fill in the blank.
Remove the context of wine and we find (perhaps) some familiar feelings. Do you think life is gray, bland, depressing? Do you despair when you think of the next ten years? Are you in a terrible state? Is life working against you? Are you obligated to things you really would rather not do? Do you deserve to be treated better? Do you feel you don’t get your just reward? Are you afflicted for no reason?
Ah, you’re a prime candidate for addition. So, you eat. You drink. You shop. You daydream. You take medication. You yearn for vacation. You indulge in fantasy. You play video games. You do what it takes to escape the mood you’re in. And when it doesn’t work anymore, you do more of the same things.
Addicts are emotionally fragile human beings who have not been able to transition from life as my burden to life as God’s purposes. Addicts lack biblical vision. They are one-minute men rather than one-thousand-year followers. The transition they need doesn’t come easily. It is extremely painful to live without filters. They get sunburned in God’s light. But they won’t die. If they stay where they are, they are already dead and they know it. Resurrection is possible but it hurts. Time to trade anesthetics for pain—and live.
Topical Index: addict, woe, ‘oy, Proverbs 23:29
The Perfect Man
It is the Way of the Cross that will lead us home. ~ For Christ has once suffered for sins, the Just (Him) for the unjust, (us) that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened (made alive) by the Spirit ~ ( 1 Peter 3.18)
Jesus spoke and said: ~ “Follow Me.” ~ Why? Where are we going? It is the Way of the Cross that will lead us home. We are going today to a death. It is death by crucifixion, – a long, slow (often) painful process. ~ Take up your cross, (O sinner) and follow Me. ~ Today, and everyday, (I die daily) we must be willing to die. Self must die. I must die to my “self” and my “selfish”- self-centered desires, in order to live for Him and to let Him live through me. ~ He must increase, “but I” must decrease. ~ In order to live, we must first die. We are the seed that must first die, in order to live. Death, burial, resurrection..-let all things be done decently and in order. In God’s order of things, -death precedes life!
Most of us, -(no, – all of us) have “I” trouble. These three guys get me in trouble all the time: Me, myself and I. What is their address? They live within the flesh. The “stuff” you and I are made of. We love (and often give) the excuse- “I’m only human!” Uhh, excuse me, but wasn’t He “human” as well?
Wasn’t He also tempted in all points (like we are) yet without sin? But we will say, (argue) “yeah, but..” -He was God! O yes, He was and O yes, (greater still), He IS! And, (if we would only remember) -didn’t He say ~ sin shall no longer have dominion/control/authority over you? ~ and? ~ if the Son shall make you free- you shall be free indeed? and? ~ greater (by far) is the One who is in you than the one who is in the world?
So which is it? Is He -(not was He,- please!), God or Man? ~ For there is One Mediator between God and man (us) the Man Christ Jesus. The Messiah was born (incarnated) a baby boy, – born in a barn in Bethlehem. The (Eternal, Immortal, God only wise) was born through the portals of a virgin’s womb, and lived (tabernacled) among us- as a man- one of us.
Did He (God) cry like a baby? Did Mary or Joseph change his diapers? Did He eat our food? Wear shoes and clothes? Work for thirty years in his (earthly) father’s carpenter shop? Was He a skilled carpenter? Did Christ come in the flesh? Was He fully, and in every way- human? Did He laugh? Did He ever cry? Friend, ~ Jesus wept! ~
What then, is it about Him that separates Him from us? Why was (is) He different? This man, the man Christ Jesus, never sinned! There is “no fault in Him!” He is the “Perfect Man.” And? He is God. God in human flesh. The Messiah, our Messiah, our Near-Kinsman Redeemer – is a Man. But not just a man, – the only “Just” man ever to have lived! The only “Perfect” man ever to have lived! Ladies, looking for the Perfect Man? Look no further, -you have just found Him! He is the Second Adam, our LORD Jesus, who is the Christ! He is the One who Who pardons all our iniquities, Who heals all our diseases; Who redeems our life from the pit, and the One Who crowns us with lovingkindness and compassion.. ~ Is there more? So much more!.. Someone should write a Book about Him!
Uhh.. Yes!
Hello, my name is ________ and I am powerless over _________.”
Very funny 🙂
My name is Mike and I am powerless over alcohol
It took me many years to understand what Bill meant by being “allergic” to alcohol
But at 65, after having two tall Bud Lite beers on the way to the Park
I woke up to find myself in jail and my dog in the pound about 20 miles away
At court the very kind judge, a very large man about my age, gave me a choice
Between 10 days in jail or 10 days in AA
My first thought was OMG how lucky I am, but then the thought of attending an AA meeting 10 times
Almost made me depressed
And want to consider 10 days in jail as the less depressing alternative
So I was surprised and delighted at the first meeting to find a diverse group of folks
Who were all very likable sorts, not depressing at all
In fact they seemed a lot more honest and open than most people I meet
After being sober for about 14 months and attending AA meetings twice a week for 12
It seems to me there are two kinds of alcoholics, one is addicted to alcohol
And the other is not
And my sense is that many addicts are closer to God and more spiritually oriented
Than more normal people
My first wife was one of the most spiritual people I’ve ever met and she died from heroin addiction
She was a warm, friendly, charming person, and kind to all
Anything but depressed and dark
Recently, I attended a meeting full of working class folks
Who were let out of jail to attend the meeting at some sort of club
I was invited by a friend from AA who serves as their chairperson
As the guest speaker I left them with the topic of their “higher power” to share
And I can tell you they were anything but “gray, bland, depressing”
These guys were big, tough, and mean looking
But they were very eloquent, emotional, and excited when it came to speaking
About their “Higher Power”
For me it was a very intense spiritual experience
Which I rarely find
Self pity as a set up for addictive responses to life. Hmm
My daughter came in the other day to inform me that, according to NPR, a “supernormal response” is something that most any life form can have, but, according to this source, humans are unique in that only we can decide to respond or not, because only we can a: determine whether a stimulus is ‘real’ or not, and b: decide to respond or not. Fascinating.
Please accept my apologies up front for what I am about to say, as it is only my own understanding, and so I wish to reserve the right to be wrong(!),but the reason I wish to share it is because it is what finally worked for me, when nothing else did on this subject.
The word ‘addiction’ means ‘surrender’. Only the Son can make us free from something we have surrendered to. 2Peter 2:14 describes a sinner as someone who “cannot cease from sin”. It has struck me that, in the eyes of God, we most likely are all addicts to sin, because an addict is someone who cannot lay something down of his or her own free will. It means we have lost our ability to will in that place.
Because we, in our society today, seem to perceive need as a weakness, we construct security systems to insulate ourselves from that perception. Rev. 3:17 “Because thou sayest I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor and blind, and naked.” This is a description of a bankrupt spiritual condition, and an attempt to fix it with temporal prosperity being used as a drug, a mind-altering perception of reality. This is surely us.
I have found a list of the three biggest doorpoints, as it were, for addictive behavior, and they are: 1. a broken heart rising out of abuse; 2. being ignored or abandoned; 3. being conceived by a parent in an altered state. If we were created for love in all our dimensions, then addictive behavior is surely an attempt to compensate for a lack thereof. This planet is demonstrating an epidemic of people not loving or being loved. Even the animal kingdom takes better care of their young than we do! The majority of us are all in a rage of rejection and bitterness because we are feeling unloved. We seem to have fallen whole scale for the bewitching lie that God does not love us, we hate ourselves, and can’t stand others. People die if they do not feel loved. Addictive behavior is the thing we do to raise the levels biologically of all those chemical signals; the seratonin and dopamine and endorphin levels, even the opioids, that are there to let us know that love is going down, is happening, with us. It is a substitute for love.
To choose to participate in the lie that love is not for me is to create an enormous hole in the soul that spawns an entire spectrum of mental and chemical imbalances that are unbearable. The subsequent search for the fix of this imbalance is compulsive and uncontrollable, because my body has a desire to live. It occurs on many levels. If I go attempting to manage one compulsion, I end up merely introducing additional cross-addictions. If it is true that there is no cure for love, well, there is no cure for the lack of it either!
I have found that recently it has been realized that addictions to food or smoking is not hunger or nicotine; of all things, it is the association with lips! A suckled infant feels nurtured. Well, you get the idea. The Japanese word for cigarettes is “guchigoshibishi”; translated “my lips feel lonely”. One of the biggest precursors to food addictions has been found to be rejection by a parent. Surprising? Metabolism falls big time when you do not feel loved. Self hatred causes metabolism to fall faster than anything. Addictive behavior of any kind raises seratonin levels; we feel CONNECTED. I call it the relationship chemical. It produces the feeling of being loved. You can learn that rage or fear release adrenalin. Your body can learn symptoms so you can take drugs; you can even become addicted to your own body chemistry.
In order to cope biologically for, ultimately, a bankrupt spiritual condition, we need to have a ‘rush’. This is what we learn to seek out. It is false peace. There is a chemical ‘fix’ that comes out of obedience to God. All of us who love Him have experienced it. Our whole being was created to love and be loved. Poor relationships are the biggest setup of all. We were created to give and receive love. An addiction is an attempt to re-create the effects of love without relationship, and it leaves us bound inside ourselves. Nothing in, nothing out. Torment.
Ultimately, when we can’t stand ourselves in an unaltered state, we create an altered one where we feel ‘safe’ from all further perceived rejection, whether from God, ourselves, or others. But that false sense of security projects its call from a deadly place; a place that lies. The ultimate cure for addiction in my life has been the truth in God’s Word. It is only when I believe lies that I feel unloved. His holy Word has been what I have used to fill the unbearable holes in my soul that were there in the first place because I was confused about what love was, and what I should do about it. Halleluah!
Hi Laurita,
I think addiction is an inability to surrender or give up a self destructive behavior
But the behavior itself might not be sinful
Might not violate a commandment of God
My super chocolate fudge ice cream dinner might be a sign of addiction
Or just stupidity, but I don’t believe it is sinful 🙂
But what if it is in place of love?
Laurita, may I share with others, your beautiful words?
I had a dear longtime friend of mine, just recently commit suicide. The ultimate escape? He said, (to his “self”)- I know a way out of this (addiction to alcohol).
Oh, there is such a testimony to this. And to honor my friend and his family, I will share it.
Just as a background to this, I first was introduced to my friend while he attended seminary! I was in the military, he was a seminary student. Life goes on, we split, but both of us were married and God blessed us both with our wives. We both had daughters about the same time, our daughters were playmates when they were little.
Through the twists and turns of life, he got a job as a policeman. He started lifting weights and to gain weight and bulk more rapidly, was introduced to a quicker, faster, easier pill. The consequences of his own choosing? Big muscles, short fuse. ~ Let patient endurance have her perfect work ~ was not part of the program It is not good (for anyone) to have a quick temper, to be quick to anger, especially a policeman (or policewoman) who has to deal every day with extreme drama and trauma.
He, as now a very large man, oftentimes took the law into his own hands. Wearing weighted leather gloves, and going above and beyond his own authority, there are those who challenged him who wished they hadn’t. But this man, when he came home would remember. And these remembrances were not “fond remembrances” but rather “accusations” of his unholy and unlawful behavior. In order to quench and to quell these “voices”, he turned to alcohol to erase and to soothe his conscience.
Conscience might be a Greek idea, but it is mentioned in the book God wrote. ~ Holding faith, and a good conscience; which some having put away concerning faith have made shipwreck ~ (1 Timothy 1.19) “Exhibit A” My friend, the (now dead) shipwreck. But his memory remains with me and to this day, I love him. So does his wife. So do his two daughters.
The police department became aware of his addiction to alcohol. Three attempts were made to dry him out . Three strikes -your out. Now out of work and finding only menial jobs, having no hope, he attempted to drink his “self” to death. EverClear. Straight. This once humongous man, now had the appearance of a balloon with the air let out. His favorite place on the stained couch was sunk down about a foot. How many times did his wife find him face down on the floor, often cut, often bleeding, often soiled. Her counsel? Leave that man! Her response? “He is my husband.” She, to this day, is my hero.
The house, his home was deteriorating rapidly. The neighbors complained, windows were missing, no paint, the house, -both of them was falling in on itself. I received a phone call from her. What are we going to do?
After assessment and prayer, a team was assembled, gifts of time and money were given, and we installed vinyl siding on the house. But the man on the inside, “the inner man” was still spiraling downward.. He attended a local treatment center for addictions, one that was nationally known and recognized, and for two years this man was sober. As a former seminary student, he often spoke with other addicts and they would listen “amazed.”
My friend said to me, “I don’t even know half the time what I am saying to them.” I said to him, “God is using you.” They are quicker to listen to you than they would be to Billy Graham or Mother Theresa (insert your own favorite “religious hero”).
Suicide is the ultimate expression of self-centeredness. This article was a tremendous help for me, and to help me to understand the “yetzer hara” the inner man, – my “self”. My friend is survived by his amazing wife, two beautiful daughters, and now, one grandson.
Carl,
I am so sorry. I have buried more than my share of dear ones to this. It is a heartache. This knowledge of what drives us really helped me to understand and have sympathy for all who are struggling in the snare of the devil. To get free, you have to get beyond the accusations of the Accuser, and subscribe to the truth. The Accuser is on the ground big time here, and it is so believable to believe all those lies. “You are trash; you are trapped; you are your problem; you are unlovable; you can never be free; your only choice is to give up”. And when you believe all that, you feel awful.
The truth was that I was only looking for love in all the wrong places: I was performing for love, and I was not created trash; I was created in the image of my Creator. To be set free from the power of addiction is to obey the Great Commandments, that tell me to love (trust and obey) God, and to love myself (repent of self hatred, self pity: ANYTHING, in fact, in me that does not look like the mind and character of Christ is NOT EVEN ME!) so I have an excess of love to then give to others. I cannot white knuckle righteousness. I was a sheep cut out of the herd, and then convinced that I was ‘on my own’. I had a broken heart, and had lost trust on all levels. To get it back, I had to learn my enemy. I had to learn to recognize that feelings of bitterness,rejection, comparison with others, or even my own standard of righteousness, all altered states of reality, all beliefs that overthrow God as supreme,all unloving and ego-based thinking, and especially all fear, were not of God, and therefore had to go. I got to thinking some days that if I did any more making every thought captive and then repenting for it, my repenter would just fall off, but my thought life was really messed up from all those years of believing so many lies. I was so sick I lay on the couch and just read the Word over and over until my mind renewed and my heart was in agreement with enough truth that I had something to replace the lies with.
Then, the rest of the story is that my health sprang forth speedily and the years that the locusts ate were restored, and my youth was renewed like the eagle’s. But the two keys to it all was: #1 I had understand that all torment and thoughts that were not how God would think or act WERE NOT ME, EITHER, and that I could repent them, and they would GO AWAY!
And if they came back I could REFUSE TO THINK THEM! I had to become separated from my sin, and to do that, I had to learn how to recognize it. Thought sin is so subtle, it all comes to us presented as righteousness and love! (lies). #2 I had to replace them with truth, because the truth is what freed me from my hell. I was killing myself with a standard of righteousness that was NOT from God. I am ALREADY “accepted in the Beloved”, and I do not need to believe that I am faulty and must ‘earn’ love. When I believed that, fear that comes when we are separated from the love of God was the fuel in my tank. I would start every day with a good panic attack because I was believing the lie (which is a sin) that it was ‘all up to me’. That is what a broken heart believes. I had to make my peace with the Father, and let Him heal my heart, so the fear could quit. Fear is sin. I repented, and have refused to do it ever since. My body without stress. My whole self at rest again. Peace, homeostasis, is a physical phenomenon, too! Halleluah!
Dear Carl, anything I put out is already in the public domain, anybody can use anything they like, and my prayers go with it! May all be to the glory of God and to His dear Son! Amen.
Laurita, your words and your testimony of what our Father has done in your life are so encouraging to me, today. They (truly) lift me up! ~He has brought me up (also) out of the miry clay and has set my feet (also) upon a Rock! “How firm a foundation” is to some, mere cliche’, but to those who are His, to those who now belong to the (always) Good Shepherd, this, the ever-living, incarnated Word of God, is glorious reality!
If I made be so brazen, to “short-story” your own story. It is this: Refuse this, but choose that! Refuse and choose. Choose something better! To take a bone away from a dog, (poor little guy), offer him (or her) a steak! But the problem is..- most of us “dogs” have never seen the steak! (Ever-always-only) “looking unto Jesus,- the Author and Perfecter (yes, we are being perfected by and through our daily “troubles” and light afflictions) of our faith. To God be the glory, great things He is (still) doing!
And the people said, “Amen”.
I am grateful to all of you who have “heard” this Word today, and have commented. Very touching insights.
Over the last few weeks and months I have come to some conclusions about my life.
I am an addict.
I am addicted to self-hatred; consequently, I have staggered under its stupor for many years, causing me the inability to walk straight, while misrepresenting YHWH and myself in many ways. Abandonment, rejection, and fear are the evil triplets that have been partners on this journey.
I have drunk deeply into the bottle of pain, sorrow, grief, and despair; hence, I have slept through many nightmare days, nights, months and years. Abuse (others and myself) and tragedy have been the nefarious twins and supporting casts as I have continuously sloshed in this quagmire.
I am also learning something more stable, grounding, and which is leading me on a straighter path of shalom.
I am not enough; however, the King is enough!
I am just a human being and a creature of weakness; nevertheless, this is not something inherently wrong or to be despised, but one that leads to a recognition and embrace of the King’s strength!
The journey continues . . .
YHWH is King!
I have to pass on a phrase and the misuses of that phrase which just transpired right here on “The Addict.”
In my initial post I wrote, “I am addict.” I recognized my mistake immediately and asked Skip to correct it to, “I am a addict.” Nope, I was still wrong. Of course, Skip, was gracious enough to make the right adjustment. He correctly changed it to, “I am an addict.” Hilarious!
Writing a sentence with correct punctuation and accurate words and structure is an ongoing journey for me. I am a bit of a word smith who loves to put words together in a pleasing and enjoyable way to those who may read it. I am a clever one with the use of words, but not always an accurate one in the presentation. 🙂
Skip, thank you for the correction on the incorrect uses of that phrase.
But “I am addict” was also correct and profound. It is an equivalence. Like “I am human” or “I am redeemed.” “I am addict” expresses my identity, not simply my behavior. If I truly believe that I am addict, then I will simply act out who I am. If I see my addiction as a function of my behavior choices, then I can change. With a lot of help.
Skip, that is true enough on my initial statement, “I am addict.” It is a possible prophetic statement I need to consider.
I am just wondering out loud by asking these next questions. Did I want to change the statement because I am still in delusion about myself? Or . . . Is it a sign of authentic hope?
By the way, I am starting some professional counseling this week. Prayers would be most desired and appreciated.
The journey continues . . .