The Art of Discipline (2)

And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. Luke 9:23 NASB

Must deny – Just say, “No.” That’s what the Greek verb arneomai means. Just answer the question with “No” or refuse some offer or demand. It seems so simple until this verse gets into the hands of many preachers. Then it becomes a hammer pounding on your soul. “You haven’t denied yourself. You haven’t refused to extract yourself from worldly pleasures. You aren’t good enough for Jesus. You have to work harder, do more, give up more before you can be fit for the Kingdom.” “No!” must come with a double exclamation point!!

But the Greek verb is almost always about a person, not a thing. In Acts 3:13, Revelation 2:13, 2 Timothy 2:12 and 1 John 2:23, this verb is used to describe denying someone, not something. It even includes denying yourself. Ah, that’s the central idea here in this verse. It is not about denying all the things in your life. It is about denying yourself. But in our culture, we think of ourselves as the collection of things and therefore we most often imagine that denying yourself means refusing all those things that make up my self-identity.

Here’s the next step in discipline. Make a list of all the things that you consider the most important identity marks of who you are. Things like your job, your house, your car, your favorite hobby, your biggest temptations; things that you would put on a resume (well, maybe not the temptations). Things you talk about when someone asks, “What do you do?” Then make another list. On this list write down the names of people who you would never reject, the people who make up those relationships you simply cannot live without. Like your children, your spouse, your parents, your siblings. The people who make up the real you. The ones who bring you the greatest joy, the deepest satisfaction, the most intense longings. Imagine yourself as the summary of all these relationships.

Now tell me, “Which list really matters?” Which list is your real identity? If you had to choose, would you have any difficulty saying “No” to anything on the first list in favor of anyone on the second list?

One more step. At the bottom of the second list, write your own name. If you had to choose, is there anyone on that list that you would reject in favor of yourself? If you’re like me, the answer is, “No.” I would always choose the well-being of those who matter most to me over my own concerns and desires. That’s what it means to be me, to honor and care for those who are intimately connected to me. They come before me. If I had to choose, I would lay down my life for them.

Yeshua simply says, “Take yourself off and put me at the top of that list, please.”

Topical Index: deny, arneomai, refuse, Luke 9:23