Grounded
Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Matthew 13:7 NIV
Thorns – The parable of the sower (actually, the soils) is an allegory. How do we know it is an allegory? Because the author tells us it is! We do not have to guess at the meanings of the terms. He tells us what they mean. We do not have to import our own ideas into the parable. He tells us exactly what the parable is about. That’s why it is an allegory because only the author can classify a story as an allegory. That’s why the parable of the prodigal is not an allegory.
Now that we know this parable is an allegory we can understand the meanings of each of the soils from the explanation of the author. Here’s what Yeshua tells us about the thorns. “The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful” (Matthew 13:22). This explanation helps us ask the crucial questions arising from Yeshua’s story. Those questions make this story very personal. They are:
- What are the worries that crowd my life?
- How do I handle them?
- What is my perception of the deceitfulness of wealth?
- Am I susceptible to this deceitfulness?
- Have these things made my life unfruitful?
- What can I do about this?
Parables work because they involve us in the stories. They are scenes from the real, ordinary events of our lives used to illuminate something of deeper significance. They are personally convicting. A parable draws me into the plot and usually confronts me with my own personal issues.
So, let me (not you) answer these questions. These will be my answers, not yours. But, of course, you will have to have your own answers for the same questions. Then, and only then, will the parable belong to you.
- The worries that crowd my life all have to do with inadequacy. I am afraid that I am not good enough. I am afraid that my inabilities will be public and I will be shamed. I am afraid that if people really knew me (like I know myself), they would not love me.
- I don’t handle these fears very well. Most of my life I have tried to run away from these fears by substituting fantasy (real or imagined) for the reality of my fearful world. I prefer flight to fight. I escape. I make up a world where I am not rejected, where I am good enough just as I am, even with my glaring faults. In fact, I often push away real people in order to have the imaginary people who never cast me aside. Practicing this kind of self-deception over the years has led to tragic relationship breakdowns; breakdowns that only convince me all the more that I am truly unworthy and that exacerbates the cycle. Only God can remove these thorns.
- I used to think that wealth would help me escape from my inadequacies. After all, lots of money makes fantasies become reality. But or course money doesn’t remove feelings of inadequacy. It just covers them up for awhile. For me, the deceitfulness of wealth is the seduction that money brings happiness. Money does relieve some concerns, no doubt about it, but happiness is not a function of possessions. I learned to be miserable in the midst of pointless affluence. By the way, being poor does not make one happy either. Being fulfilled is being happy and fulfillment is not a function of asset management.
- I am susceptible to the temptation to revert to material means as a way of escaping inadequacy. It’s not that I am susceptible to the love of money. Money was never my love. It was the ability of money to let me escape my fears. That temptation is a permanent part of me now. I don’t have to give into it, but it doesn’t go away. It is the thorn that reminds me that only God can truly satisfy this hunger in my soul. Anything else is a doorway to a lie.
- What I know today is that unfruitfulness is not self-determined. The only true measure of fruitfulness is provided by those whom I serve (or don’t serve). I suspect that I will find myself unworthy for the rest of my life. After all, I know my own history best. There are lots of things that I count as garbage (Philippians 3:8) but that does not mean that God doesn’t use them in ways I could never have imagined. What is fruitful is not what I think is unfruitful. Perhaps this is the real lesson in the thorns. What can I do about all this? Ah, go on. That’s what I can do. Keep going. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep hoping that I will see the goodness of God in the land of the living.
Now it’s your turn.
Topical Index: parable, thorn, Matthew 13:7
Hey Skip,
for what it’s worth – I starting reading today’s word 3 years ago. G-d has been and is in the process of restoring my life – physically, emotionally and spiritually. I experience real peace, joy and fullness of life in Yeshua. My relationships around me are better, my work situation is much better, G-d is using me as He changes some lives around me….. There’s still A LOT of things G-d has to change in my heart and life but His Spirit is moving and bearing fruit. Your work has been a big part of that process. Thank you for serving Him….
Love,
Mark
I am so delighted to read your words. And I know you have been a great blessing to others in this process. Some day we will have to meet so that I may embrace you and say, “Thank you, Mark. You are His servant and I am honored to see you.”
I want to thank those who said a brief prayer for me on Wednesday morning. I was in crisis mode and still am. It will be a couple of weeks before I will know how my future is going to play out concerning my health. I am 75 now and I can begin to see the sun on its downward swing and the long shadows of the evening gathering, but I am not concerned for myself but for those around me.
Skip I can see myself in your description of your relationships to others. I never want to be involved in emotional situations. I could never relate some of the opportunities God has given me to be of service, and I have refused because of my fear. I bear the shame every day. Also like you I think an abundance of money would solve everything, and I would be this new wonderful person. The problem is that I can never discern what amount an abundance of money is, so I hang on to it all. Not really all, but I am very frugle and discerning when called upon to part with MY (HA!) money.
OK. Who is next?
Yeshua actually talked more about money than any other subject. Where the treasure is, I suppose. I used to think I could be independent and myself if I had enough. God had to take it all away for me to see the truth. He distributes, not me. I am only the executor of His assets. Time to let go.
Skip I am still processing this for myself. I have been afraid to fully explore what it means to be the “third” soil. I have for many years known I needed to meditate on what this means for me personally, but was afraid to go there.
I know and agree that I must answer these questions for myself but I am locked into your first sentence, “The worries that crowd my life all have to do with inadequacy.”
If I follow the trail far enough, most if not all my worldly concerns have the same root, fear of inadequacy. Fear of being found out. I suspect there is much more to that question and I am committed to exploring this further for my “issues” going forward. But I wanted to join the conversation, even before I had plumbed those depths.
2. I handle my FOI in many unhealthy ways. One common thing for me is wanting the approval of others. I often think of our Lord Jeshua in this regard. He did not hold back or seem to give a rip what others thought. Anyone planting a church, who would meet a rich, powerful person showing interest in their ministry would never respond the way Jeshua did. I would have said, “Hey, let’s go over to Starbucks, grab coffee and chat. I think you need to come to our meetings.” I would never tell him to go and sell everything he had and even if I did say something like that I would say give it to this ministry, not give it to the poor.
I have been helped so much Skip by your writing about the Proverb 31 woman who “laughs” at what might come because she sees her past and how faithful her Lord has been. She trusts Him and the abilities He has given her and because of this she has no concern regarding what tomorrow might bring. Again, this has been so helpful to me since I read it.
I need to postpone this cathartic exercise for now but like so many others here, I feel as if I have stumbled upon a wonderful community of folks. Skip I look forward to reading, after my Elizabeth has read, “Guardian Angel” and I have benefited greatly from your words. I also benefit greatly from the responses of others.
Vaya con Dios
Ah, KEEP GOING. That’s faith in a nutshell. Perseverance. Tenacity. The refusal to give up. Welcome to the long journey.
Much of what you have put forth resonates in the deepest corners of my soul…for some reason that ‘fear of rejection’ looms high over my head -like a banner waving in the wind. To be accepted for who I am, to be respected and honored for whatever wisdom and experience I’ve accumulated, to have value in someone’s eyes but never being able to measure up somehow – at least from what I perceive to see in others eyes.
I don’t really handle that very well … when that thorn digs in, my heart begins to sink, my confidence flags and I retreat in a world more accepting…one filled with nature and animals – something much more calming and reassuring and welcoming. People can be cruel and demanding and full of agendas….and then something snaps as I descend into that pit…I realize I must stop, dig in my heels and say “NO”.
Going down that stinking rabbit trail is definitely unfruitful…..it needs to be set aside, destroyed, buried and ignored. The only way I know how to do that is to turn around and look fully in His face….to allow HIS acceptance wash over my broken bones, my battered wounds and bruises….healing the hurts down to the marrow in my bones….to realize that we are all broke – each and every one of us. To understand that we all, each and every one of us, wrestle with the same fears of rejection and failure. We are all alike….and there is only one answer!
We need to stop…and turn around (teshuvah) …and look full into HIS face. Then, the very essence that makes me – me – is rejuvenated, revitalized and renewed! No – not even REnewed – but NEW – brand spanking new…..with HIS mercy, HIS love – HIS beauty….HIS way. When I need to turn around – remind me. When you need to turn around – I’ll remind you. May it be so.
When it comes to money i am in the exact opposite place. I’ve never had an abundance but i’ve always made it a point to be debt free.
Now, at a point in my life where i should be wrapping up my retirement funds and winding down in the work place i’m staring at a debt overload that i can not even begin to think about in coherent terms. A bad marriage and subsequent need on the ex’s part to demonstrate his power over me has spread this mess in my life.
There’s no escape, no fantasy, no hope of MY being able to turn it around. I can’t do anything but work as many hours as i can, stay onboard w/money management that squeaks dimes out of pennies and be willing to trust.
On one hand i believe i should welcome this opportunity to once again trust.
On the other, i’m more then a little bitter at the people who deemed it acceptable to do everything in their power to demonstrate their power over me in such a devastating fashion. (and they tell ME when i forgive them fully i will be able to pay these bills. I hate that cavalier attitude!)
We, this gracious community of strangers, are here to help. What can we do?
I appreciate your honesty , it’s so painful to be married to #1& #2 for 26 years , When does love become more powerful than fear ?? When does love take more space than fear & neglect& rejection ….pray for me i’m heart – broken yearning for redemption & resurrection……….Can life be more than crying, hurting , groaning , & returning in yearning ??????????????????????
Honestly, the answer is yes, you will get through it.
It’s just the act, the living, that it takes to get through ‘it’ sux.
There’s a difference, a fine line between self pity and true grief. Finding that is essential, it’s personal and different for each person.
Prayers.
I meant to say married to someone with #1& #2
And I think a lot of ” Eves ” grieve……………
Thank you for the prayers
Twenty six years ago, I was abandoned by my husband of 15 years and left with a 4 year old, $400 and an inactive RN license, because we had been too broke to pay for CE and full renewal when necessary. I was bitter. I had left a good administrative job to stay home with my newborn, and my hands-on nursing skills were out-of-date — getting a job was difficult. To top it off, my ex left a letter that was rejection personified. Thankfully, the wise couple I turned to in that time, burned that letter so I couldn’t read and reread his cutting words. That was the first step, but each subsequent step seemed even harder, as I climbed out of that hole of debt, rejection and anger.
About 6 years down the road, my circumstances changed for the worse, because of a horrendous accident with an 18 wheeler truck on the freeway. As I lay in my bed, alternating between pain and despair, I didn’t know whether I would be able to keep the job I had worked so hard to regain. How would I recover, again, from the loss of income, property and my health?
And then the whisper: “will you be content in THIS, if it’s all there is? Will you still trust Me?”
That was my wake-up call. I was alive, my son was alive and miraculously unhurt. I could continue to regret and be bitter about all that had happened to me, or I could choose to be content in whatever my current circumstance. I remembered saying, “I trust you, Lord,” as I faced the truck barreling across the freeway divider into my face, when I thought my son and I were going to die. But how could I trust now, in the aftermath, when my circumstances were so ugly, again? Why me, God?
“Why not, you?” I heard gently.
In the years that have followed, those two questions have often been a plumb line for me. There is one thing you know about circumstances, they always change. I married my childhood sweetheart and became stepmother to two more sons. We had difficulties blending as a family. We faced huge debt and survived near bankruptcy. We had marital problems — we considered divorce. I continued in chronic pain and orthopedic/immunity problems from the accident. We lost both of our fathers in the same year; a double blow. (My father-in-law had been in my life since I was baby. The only living man I had known longer was my own father.) Always, it came back to the same questions, “Will you trust me, now, in this? Will you be content, in this?”
Going on is never easy, but stopping is not an option. I have to choose: I can look over my shoulder at the future and be fearful of rejection; I can look at my circumstances and become complacent if they are pleasant, or allow bitterness to reign when they are not; OR I can look back at where God has been, and choose to trust and be content, right now, today. I wish I could say that I’ve always made the right choice. I haven’t. But God is faithful: He lets me turn back and start again. You can do this, Colleen. 🙂
What a wonderful testimony to us all. Thank you. What makes this cyber community real is its ability to share life as it is, no pacifying, no excuses, no cover-ups. Just like Amanda’s revelation, I hope that your words release others to find contentment in trusting Him.
Thank you for being so transparent. Your story encourages all of the rest of us. I’ve faced rejection (of an obliquely similar nature), and your determination is awesome and inspiring. It’s amazing when God speaks to us where we are.
I struggle with a fear of rejection, too (and of not being good enough). Sometimes it even keeps me from posting here because I feel like my understanding is so incredibly inadequate (in my eyes) and I fear that people will think I’m clueless. And in many ways, I am (and even though I struggle with it, it’s okay).
I am encouraged by your story.
🙂
Amanda Youngblood
Thanks for writing “Grounded” Skip. I feel like I know you a little better. I relate to you in that fear of inadequacy, being rejected and shamed controlled my life for most of my life. (I’m 55) I kept myself “hidden” and It led me to idolatry. I have always seen these things as a thorn in my flesh too and longed to be free, but was too afraid to make a move. I’m a long way from the freedom that I deeply desire, but I’m a LONG way ahead of where I was, and I attribute that to truly accepting myself as God created me. ( I used to look in the mirror and say “I hate you”.) I can laugh at myself more and care less what others think. Oooh what a difference! I’m also understanding much more what it means to love your neighbor as yourself. I’m a bit the opposite of you with REAL people in that I’m attracted to them because I want so much to be like them…..and some of them that I don’t initially like or agree with I highly respect and grow to like. One last thought; because of my own experience, I have said to myself that I will accept people unconditionally because I believe it is a key to helping expose them to the Gospel and much more!
Shalom Alechiem! (Peace to you and your family)
SO nice to hear your response. I meant “hear” not “read” because it is as if I am hearing your voice. The next best thing to being in person (which, by the way, we should work on). Things I have struggled with for more years than you are coming forward with leaps and bounds and God is good. He keeps me going until I find myself embraced in His arms.
2Ti 1:7 For Elohim hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Fellow believers, fear is an evil spirit which our Father has not given us. Rather He has given us a spirit of power – His Spirit, of love – His divine love, and of a sound mind – the mind of Yahshua.
Many, many are the times that I have spoken this text out loud substituting whatever spirit was attacking me i.e unloving, criticism, unbelieving etc. and personalizing the text to me, while rebuking the spirit in the Name of Yahshua. And, they leave. But, of course I have to believe too.
Yes, I know that there is a place for fear both reverential and terror. Even Mosheh said that he feared. But, I believe that most of the fear which we feel is nothing other than an evil spirit which we do not have to entertain for a moment, but upon recognizing the spirit we take responsibility and repent of participating with the enemy. Then, in the name of Yahshua, renounce and remove it. And, remember, it will come back until it sees that you mean business. Then, rejoice and help restore others from their captivity.
Shalom
I have written about this verse and these words in the past. Take a look.
Dear Skip, when we first met on a cruise ship in the Mediterranean I was in the early stages of my search for “the truth”, something that might replace my then recently abandoned 70 years old Roman Catholic faith. I loved listening to your nightly version of what to look for at the next port of call be it Ephesus or wherever or beyond even the Med. Sienna and Tuscany come to mind. Over the next two years or so in my quest I covered as many bases as possible, some of them pretty weird stuff but nothing was exempt. Your mention of your web site was duly noted and mostly forgotten for at least a year but as I gradually learned from my sporadic visits to Hebrew Word Study nothing I found elsewhere was seemingly as sensible as the Bible, but just not as I knew it. I learned from you how truly meaningful it can be transcendentally when it is explained in plain English.
Eventually TWOT began to replace that ignorance and rejection with meaning and understanding until today I never miss it although usually I do not read it until the following day when I can also read all the comments. Laurita is a favourite amongst a few others but your responses to many comments are truly gems of wisdom and guidance. God is walking with you holding your hand and your metaphorical pen.
You need to know how dramatically your work can change people’s lives even if, like me, they don’t usually contribute to the daily commentary. I am so comfortable (and also sometimes a bit itchy) with your daily word(s). There are no doubt lots like me. The “real” Bible is new to me. You and your family are in our prayers that you may find what you need to continue the great work you do. Thank you sooooooooooooo much. I look forward to seeing you again in Israel soon.
Thanks George. It will be a fond reunion. Amazing what God does to intersect lives.
Inadequacy is a huge one. I live in my head… I think think think think think about things I want to apply and do in my life but get paralyzed and do nothing because I am certain I am going to do it wrong. “Just doing it” never looks in real life how I think it should in my head.
Instead of being afraid that someone might find out “the real me” and be disappointed… I feel like no one knows the real me. Literally not a single person on this earth. Because the “real me” lives in my head and I don’t know how to take action to BE that person. I feel kind of imprisoned in my skin. I don’t know how to live who I think I am. I’m paralyzed with fear that I won’t do it right. I feel like surely God thinks I’m a disgusting coward, burying my talent in the ground instead of taking action, taking risk. I have had some struggles with God, but I don’t feel that I am struggling with Him right now. In fact, these days I hardly talk to Him with any direction or focus or fervor. Life isn’t phenomenally great but it isn’t horrible either. My problems are few, really. Minus some money troubles, things are quiet. But as I thank Him for His blessings and provisions, I also fear that He has “blessed” me because I am one of the weak ones. Maybe he’s taken me out of the game because I just don’t have what it takes. Maybe the only person in the universe who can see the real me sees that I’ve got very, very little to offer. And I’m scared to argue with Him and challenge Him and ask Him to take a second look at me because I’m terrified that He may tell me exactly what to do and I will sit here for the rest of my life thinking about it but too paralyzed to act. To want so desperately to be noticed, to be seen, to be given a name and a purpose, but to also be so afraid of what He might task me with if He takes notice of me that I wonder if it’s preferable to “fly under the radar”… that’s where I am.
As far as the deceitfulness of wealth… I mostly feel like I do a terrible job of being a good steward of what He provides. I can’t seem to get us out of debt no matter how hard I try. It’s a big source of anxiety for me and probably adds to my paralysis and inaction. I get distracted by comparing myself to other people who seem to be managing so well and I can’t figure out how they are doing it when I flounder. It certainly steals some joy and weighs me down, but again… I turn it over and over in my head and I don’t know what to do. That is pretty much the definition of unfruitful, right? :/
My Friend,
What is inadequacy, but the fear of failure? Fearing failure will immobilize you — and then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. From your posts, I know you are a loving mother: what do you say to your children when they are afraid to try something? How do you encourage them? As much as we love our children, as parents, we are but poor imitators of God.
God doesn’t ask us to be sure of the outcome before we move; He simply wants us to move in His direction. It’s OK to falter, just don’t stop moving. Remember when your children were learning to walk? Did you whack them when they fell, and tell them they would never amount to anything? Of course not! I have no doubt that you were thrilled with their efforts. So it is with our Father God. Your children had to WANT to walk; you could hold up their arms and support them as they tried, but you couldn’t make them walk, ultimately they had to want it for themselves. So do you. It means tuning out the naysayers, when all you want is to be found faithful. It means keeping your eyes on the prize — being found faithful — when you doubt your efforts. Don’t confuse knowing the outcome, with the walk. The outcome isn’t our call — just the walk is, but He’s holding your arms and saying “take a step, Alicia.”
Thank you, Suzanne. You are so right. And He has shown this to me before. Somehow I forget again and again and give in to my fears. And sometimes that first step looks more insurmountable than it actually is.
Dearest Alicia,
It is darkest just before the dawn. The egg feels tightest just before the chick hatches. And it is only when I can utterly and completely see ‘my’ uselessness and inadequacy that He can use me. Why? Because the truth is, I have nothing to bring to the table. But, then, I never did. Congratulations!
Wanna participate in a possible shortcut, just for fun? Ok, lets try it.
If I may do so, could I list some of the lies I was listening to in the places I found myself in in my life that sounded like you? Here goes.
First, the devil is called the Accuser for a reason. YHVH does not accuse us. Second, the devil is a liar. Third, we do not sin until we agree with the devil on a lie of some sort. Including the lies of accusation. Why are accusations lies? Because when I am redeemed, I am a child of the King and an inheritor of the promises. The accusations no longer apply to me UNLESS I AN BE PERSUADED TO STEP OUTSIDE THAT KINGDOM. He does that by seducing me into believing that I am still trash. And when I believe that, I make YHVH a liar. I said, when I accuse myself with those lies, I make Him a liar, too. I then am accusing Him of lying when He said all that wonderful stuff He did about me. So where have I put MYSELF at that point? Outside the Kingdom. Then that nasty liar comes back and says “See? You are outside the Kingdom!” And I agree with him! I have no business agreeing with a liar! Now, how many sins have I listed so far? We haven’t even begun to warm up yet!
So, if the Father were to stand in front of you, would He say to you:
“Alicia, you are inadequate: you are going to do it wrong, and if I ever saw the ‘real’ you, I sure would be disappointed! And further, until you can do it right, you better stay in that corner if you know what is good for you. I think you are a disgusting coward, burying your talent in the ground instead of taking a risk. And you know, if I were you, I wouldn’t have a lot to talk to Me about, either! You also know that the only reason you have any blessings at all is because I think you are really quite disgusting, and, although I am not going to actually tell you that, you know that it what I am truly thinking, don’t you? It is good that you already know that I know you don’t really have what it takes, and I sure would like to tell you what I expect you to do, even though we both know you are not going to already have what it takes to do it! If I do notice you, you worm, we both know I am going to give you something you aren’t going to do, so, I agree with you that you just better keep your head down over there. You know that I am expecting YOU to get yourself out of debt, and am waiting, twiddling My thumbs, until you do, because I sure can’t use you until you do! And we both know that the only way that you are going to be motivated to get out of your hole is to compare and covet with envy and jealousy all those other people who are dong just fine on their own without Me. And, lastly, in case you forgot it already, you know perfectly well you don’t deserve any joy because you are unfruitful. Just reminding you. Good thing you don’t forget it.”
Is that really the beloved Voice of your Daddy? Or did somebody turn the dial on your radio in your sleep over to Radio Satan? Which one is it? Are you agreeing with your accuser, and didn’t know it? And are still wondering why you are feeling so bad? Are you opposing yourself? Are you supposed to?
Do you know that you can tell that voice to take a hike in the beloved Name of Yeshua HaMashiach of Nazareth AND IT WILL SHUT UP? Wanna try? I left the key in the engine. Try taking it around the block for a spin. You don’t have to buy it if it doesn’t work, you know! Guess-and-check is allowed in the Kingdom. Try telling the accuser to take a hike, and try doing what I learned to do, which is to go to the Word and find the promises to refute ALL the above lies of the devil. They are all there. Those promises are your sword, my dear. Try hitting back! You are a most beloved daughter of the Most High! Fighting!
“Is that really the beloved Voice of your Daddy?”
I think you hit on a key point here without realizing it. Maybe I’m confusing my Heavenly Father with my earthly father. Ten years since he has spoken to me and I’m still hearing his voice in my head… I’m sure the Accuser doesn’t have a field day with that.
Amen!
Thank you for sharing Suzanne , and thank you to Skip for sharing with openness it’s so refreshing ♡
Skip, thanks for sharing and for being so open and honest with us all. I think in the end, we all struggle with this in varying degrees. I find myself struggling with that, especially when it comes to my voice and singing. And with my job and teaching. I wonder if we don’t see ourselves as God sees us because it gives us one more thing to need to rely on him for and one fewer thing for my pride to mess up. 🙂 On the other hand, He constantly reminds me that I am good enough, perfectly made, and equipped for whatever he asks me to do.
This was a great post! Thank you!
Amanda Y.
What a blessing to see the love and encouragement being expressed! You are all a bit of God’s breath released….and isn’t it interesting that everyone has struggled with fear and inadequacy? Stage or position of life makes no difference. I understand exactly how you feel Alicia…your words are very familiar to me. I am also learning that I have to replace those words (as both Laurita and Suzanne have answered) with His Words. We MUST learn and remember “…keep letting yourselves be transformed by the renewing of your minds; so that you will know what God wants and will agree that what He wants is good, satisfying and able to succeed….not EXAGGERATED ideas about your own importance..but instead, develop a sober estimate of yourself based on the stand which God has given to each of you, namely, trust.” Romans 12
He created you to be and do what no one else can or will do as you do. It has taken a long time for me to begin to understand that and trust Him enough to let myself go and be me. If we continue to try to please everyone else and never trust that the “me” He created is the one He wants to use…..well, the world is in bad shape-maybe that’s one of the reasons why. I think when we are so bound up in fear, inadequacy and other lies of the enemy we can’t even SEE our Heavenly Father’s goodness in the land of the living….”Good blind”. Father God, heal our vision-open our eyes to see ourselves and the people around us the way You see us. Free our hearts to know that Your Love will never fail us and we can trust you to help us walk in who we really are as we walk our lives into Yours. You are amazing Father-I love You!
Thank you Skip for your words! I feel much less alone in my struggles now. No I have no need to write my own list you have written it exactly as I would. For me the thought life is such a great struggle because no one sees it or knowa of it but it is dangerous for me. It’s a place where I am who I wish I could be not who I truely am. I keep waiting for that day when I become that person and my life has that sense of fulfillment. Then, I think, I will be happy and able to rest. Them I will acceptable to God and myself and all others. Fear grips me the older I get to know that tjis may be all the better I and my life can be. The only way I can find relief is to trust that daily my steps are ordered by the Creator as I surrender my ways to Him and pray that in the end righteous (not self serving) deeds will be left after all is tested. Peace of heart and mind is a great blessing I seek for my life and yours and all those have posted here.
Cheryl, you are not alone in your struggles AT ALL. I am convinced, if the truth be told, there are many more people then we realize who have a deep void in place of satisfaction and fulfillment….we all just feel so personally responsible for making that happen….and yet we live in a realm where our enemy will do everything he can to NOT let it happen. In my own case, I too only seemed able to have a taste of what my heart longed to do but everything around me would slam the door. With youth gone what true hope can I have for fulfilling that void? Then Holy Spirit spoke very clearly to my heart, “I created you to survive your youth….Now you will fulfill your destiny.” I’ve learned to trust Him so I believe it. He will make the way but you will need to act on the way He opens up. Begin believing you are that person you see deep inside of yourself and accept the doors opening before you. Some trees grow fast, some trees grow over a longer time but none grow overnight….you’ll get there…focus on Him and His Love for you. Let Him show you how much He is FOR you. Girl! – HE IS FOR YOU!!
Speaking of falling short, please forgive all my typos I will remember to edit my future posts!
A wonderful book was recommended to me by a member of this community. It’s called A Way Through the Wilderness. It’s a pleasant read, far less academic than most of what I have been reading for the past year or so, and it’s stirring up my heart quite a bit. I just read this, and thought it applicable to what we’ve been discussing in the comments here:
“God is not as interested in ends as He is in means. In fact, how we do a thing seems more important to God than whether we succeed. The means are not only more important than the end; the means are an end themselves. It was a truth Jesus also taught: God does not require men to succeed, He just requires them to be faithful.”
A reminder I needed, and I thought I might not be the only one. 🙂
Oh, yes, Alicia! It truly is the journey! I’m still trying to grasp that! And talk about inadequate! Ha! When you spend 10-15 minutes drilling your preschoolers on the letter of the week and then ask the big question,” SO, WHAT’S THE LETTER OF THE WEEK, CLASS????” and you get every answer BUT the correct one!! Oh my! LOL! Keeping it real and in perspective