Love and Obligation
For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. I John 5:3 NASB
Love of God – Whom do you love? Visualize that person sitting in front of you. His or her presence makes your heart feel a bit lighter. You have a smile on your face. Reflect on the love you feel. Is it completely free of obligation? Ah, you will say, “But love means I am not compelled. Love is voluntary—free!” It’s true that no one is forcing your feelings toward this other person, but that does not mean you have no obligations. Imagine what the relationship would be like if there were no expectations, no commitment, no mutual covenant. Would you still call it “love”? If your children completely disregarded your concern for them, ignored all familial and social expectations, spurned your affection and insulted your name and integrity, would you call that “love”?
When we experience “relationships” where mutual covenant expectations are not present, we call that “abuse,” not “love.” Perhaps that’s why John is quite clear about the expectations and commitments necessary in loving God. If we love Him, we keep His Torah. We follow His instructions. Not because we have to, but because love seeks to please the other, to honor the other, to delight the other, and God delights when we show our love in obedience. What would ever convince you that loving God means freedom from expectations and obligations? Augustine’s declaration is compelling, but wrong. It is not true that we can “love God and do as you please.” Augustine should have said, “Love God and do as He pleases.”
Love is a complicated concept in our culture. We lack the range of words the Greeks found necessary to capture love’s nuances. And we lack the Hebraic connection between love and duty. For us, love is a free-floating idea, laced with Roman license and Enlightenment excuses. We think love is closer to the dictionary definition of antinomian, that is, “relating to the view that Christians are released by grace from the obligation of observing the moral law.” Luther’s version of grace is devoid of Hebrew foundation. It is “against the law,” and leads directly to moral chaos. In fact, today’s collapse of personal integrity evidenced by the attempt to legislate morality is merely the logical extension of preaching grace over law for 500 hundred years. Ask yourself if you really want “loving” relationships without obligation. Ask yourself if you want a marriage without commitments, children without parental respect, a government without compassion. Then consider how God must feel when we tell Him we are happy He loves us but we have no obligation to do anything He asks. Our tickets are already stamped. Why should be care about how the Conductor feels?
Topical Index: law, grace, love, commandments, 1 John 5:3
Community Note: Peter Alexander died suddenly of a heart attack about four weeks ago. Peter was a faithful reader, supporter and contributor in this community. His wife, Caroline, is struggling to deal with all of the ramifications of his unexpected death. Please offer your prayers for her. She has to deal with a lot at this time.
Well said. Thank you
I so enjoy you Skip as a type of ezer kenegdo. My thoughts exactly, and it is exasperating to witness an American Gospel of a useful god, a genie in the sky waiting to shower material well being on me because I say “yes” whenever I am asked certain questions. That is part of the wonder of a Holy G_d. He knows (this side of heaven) we will never be able to be truly holy as He is, but we should, out of love and reverence and because it is in our best interest to live a life according to the Creator’s mandates, give it our best shot. When we stumble and we all stumble, we repent and keep on trying. Like a child who tries to cook a dinner and makes a big inedible mess, what parent wouldn’t be blessed by their sincere act of love?
The real test is this, for those who believe in the “once saved always saved, say the right prayer and I have my ticket punched crowd” what makes you think you want to be in the presence of the Holy One forever? In His kingdom He is the focus and the desire and the ALL, not you. Living life on our terms is the antithesis of being in His kingdom.
In his wonderful book “Divine Conspiracy” Dallas Willard makes the case that a ‘kingdom’ is equal to a sphere of influence. G_d’s kingdom exists where He is sovereign. Invisible yet real. If we exist outside His sovereignty, then we exist outside of His kingdom.
PS My Elizabeth and I are reading “Guardian Angel”. Your writing is the opposite of “Chinese food”, it expands after it is consumed and stays with you for hours/days. I have to read it a bit at a time, then meditate/absorb for a time. Thanks Skip.
In light of your first few paragraphs, I find it hard to understand that the Torah would sanction the marriage of a girl to someone who abused her. Duet 22: 13-19 Paul said that if an unbelieving spouse wants to stay, the believing spouse should let them. What if they are not nice because they are fools? What is the loving response? Did Hosea’s heart feel lighter in the presence of Gomer? What if adult children DO sometimes act as you described? At what level does imperfect practice become abuse? Shades are harder for some people to differentiate. When does pink become red? Again, how does a parent respond to that in a way that is restorative and redemptive? It’s hard for me to know the Hebraic way to respond to faulty Greco-Roman pillars that are holding up people’s houses. Might there be something other than Sampson’s method? Speaking of the Hebraic mindset, I wonder why the majority of Hebrews actually rejected the Hebraic instruction and wanted to be more like the Gentiles? Conjunction junction what’s your function? I’ve got and, but, and or, they’ll get you pretty far. Except, we don’t really know the exact conjunctions in Greek or Hebrew, do we? I have visions of tracks being switched to derail the train. Does a ticket to ride mean the train is bound for glory? Maybe we were designed for walking instead of riding on trains, planes and automobiles. When you’ve been thrown under the bus, buses don’t make travel less expensive for you.
Our precious daughter stayed in a terribly abusive marriage for way too long and after wrestling with your question for several years we finally realized that her very life as well as the life of her children was in serious danger. Even at that she stayed until he nearly killed her at which point she finally left.
I’m convinced Theresa that wisdom is in order when it comes to abusive marriages as well as other abusive relationships. The biggest problem is that we have dropped the ball when it comes to being a refuge for these people. We would much rather pay the government to take care of their needs.
I certainly enjoyed your brief articulation, Theresa! Thoughtful, provocative and entertaining.
Thank you.
You’re welcome. I may not be a profession chef, but I’m not comfortable eating from a table that I don’t contribute anything to. I really would like to take the philosophical into the practical. I often don’t know how to do it without making a huge mess in the kitchen. Maybe that’s why so many people go to restaurants or get take out. Any actual tips out there would be appreciated. I recently learned that if you put spaghetti in a shallow pan of cold water and then boil it, the results are better. Who knew? Now I just have to decide if those who are cautioning against the modified wheat are giving good advice. Do I cook it, or do I leave old Durham town? Caroline, I will dedicate an act of love for Peter. I hope it will be worthy.
That is my challenge, too. Taking all the intellectual knowing in to the practical doing. I tend to over analyze things instead of just jumping in to the action part. Too many years of over learning and under doing. However, one practical manner I’ve adopted from the influence of this blog is to focus on Torah’s instructions and just do them as best I can. Then continue to absorb what I learn in community and adapt it and adopt it to my doings as best I can. I’ve found YHWH to somehow lead my mind, thoughts and actions more and more in line with Torah as I know it now. I simply stay open and ready to change or adapt my actions as I learn by doing.
Example: Kosher, at first, was mechanical-a have to. Now it is a constant, constant, constant reminder to look to YHWH in the simple observance of not eating certain things. I use to LOVE bacon. Now I love giving it up for obedience to YHWH. And, as you know, pig stuffing is EVERYWHERE. This country can’t seem to live without eating pig! I just did it and it eventually became a little love thang (my spelling!) between me and YHWH. Nobody out in public knows I’m giving up pig, but YHWH does. I say “I love you” to my creator in the simple little acts of obedience. It’s wonderful.
Hope that helps.
Caroline, our prayers and hearts are with you in this difficult time. YHWH bless you in this time.
Yes. Thank you!
Caroline, our thoughts and prayers are surely with you. May YHWH grant you and all those in Messiah who mourn- comfort, consolation and shalom both now and in the Olam haba when you and Peter are reunited in joy. I only knew of Peter through his comments on this site, but I was always blessed by his wisdom, insight and intelligence. I wish I had the opportunity to break bread with him and know him. Now we (those who are widows, orphans or mourners) wait in hope and expectation for the resurrection. May He grant you friends, family, brothers and sisters to support you in all ways. In His love, Michael
Amein! Hugs to Caroline.
“And His commandments are not burdensome.” Not at all, if we truly love Him and deliberately choose to walk in obedience to Him. The joy and shalom is great reward, despite the trials and obstacles we will encounter.
Obligations and commitments are ingredients of a truly wonderful relationship.