Day 2
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, 1 Peter 1:14
Lusts – OK, so let’s tone this down a bit. The Greek word is epithymia. Yes, it can mean “lust” but if we read it like this, we are likely to dismiss Peter’s comment as not applying to us. After all, we aren’t pedophiles or whore-mongers or those other terrible sexual sinners. When we read the word “lust,” we are inclined to think “sex.” But we are proper, polite and (best of all) secretive. No one really knows what we actually desire (but are afraid to do). Who among us won’t look if there’s an opportunity to see what shouldn’t be seen? Who among us won’t consider what it would be like to take what shouldn’t be taken? Who among us is still transparent as we were in the Garden. Naked and not ashamed. It isn’t “lust” that is killing us. It’s our emotional involvement with desire. It might be sexual desire, but it doesn’t have to be. It could be the secret desire for power, for control, for fame, for fortune, for acceptance, for honor, for glory, for recognition or anything else that directs and shapes our behavior. You see, epithymia is simply the energy of the yetzer ha’ra given unrestrained expression. It’s the emotional surge associated with having the world the way I want it.
Now you tell me: Is there anything in your life that seeks its own desire? Is there something you find about yourself that constantly wishes to take control? Have you discovered that under that veneer of careful respectability there is a monster that wants? What it wants doesn’t really matter. That it wants, and won’t be satisfied until it gets whatever it wants, that’s what matters. Paul expressed it like this:
“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me” (Romans 7:18-20).
Epithymia is an alien residing in my very being.
Peter notes that this alien force was on quite familiar terms in the past. Unless you lived in a Pollyanna world, you know exactly what Peter is talking about. In the past, all that epithymia energy drove you to act in your own self-interest. In fact, all that energy is what made you who you were. Perhaps we were all borderline pathological narcissists. The reason Peter exhorts us to be obedient children is because he knows (and so do we) how easy it is to revert to those former ways. We spent a lot of time in training camp learning those ways of self-fulfillment and self-protection. We fed the monster—often. Those ways became habitual, and it takes a long time to change a habit. Just ask the children of Israel wandering in the wilderness.
We have a serious task before us. Unfortunately, practice doesn’t make perfect here. Practicing those old ways makes death. But, as perhaps you have already discovered, stopping isn’t the answer either. Nature abhors a vacuum no less in emotional constitution than in astrophysics. Stop we must, but the hole left from abandoning the former practice of epithymia demands compensation. Even apathy is an emotion. It’s just not a sustainable emotion. If we are going to refuse conformity with our former comforts, we will have to have a powerful substitute, but not another sedative. It is useless to try to live according to the Law without enlisting the power of a domesticated yetzer ha’ra. Such an attempt takes us right back to Romans 7.
What then, oh children of the dark? Where do we find such a remedy? From our Greek perspective, there is no hope here. There is no internal power of the self that can rescue us from those ingrained substitutes for shalom. Paul is right. We know what we want to do. We just can’t do it. Good intentions make no real difference. But from a Hebrew perspective, there is an answer. It is not a gentle one, but it is perhaps the only one. The answer is, as Brené Brown so eloquently expressed, vulnerability! And that means telling someone who you really are under the skin. The answer is not simply confession to the invisible, all-knowing, benevolent God. That’s half the solution (after all, He already knew). The answer is to let someone, some physically present flesh and blood someone, hear your story, your real story, including all the epithymia struggles. The answer is to grasp with both hands that you are broken to the core just like everyone else. That your story isn’t unique but it’s yours and that until you share it, it will be the monster in the closet rattling the chain you put on the door.
The Hebrew answer is community. The Greek myth of individuality was destroyed when YHVH saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone. As long as you think the Garden is a place of private revelry, you are lost. YHVH’s answer to epithymia is ‘ezer kenegdo—the one who is me outside of me, the one who “sees” me for who I am. Adam had YHVH. It wasn’t enough. You and I must have the “other” in order to become human, to domesticate the epithymia of our shadow lives.
Topical Index: epithymia, lust, desire, yetzer ha’ra, 1 Peter 1:14, Romans 7:18-20
YES-so If I am the sanctuary of God reflecting emitting His glory – wouldn’t it make more sense when we come to community worship that we should be facing each other in a circle rather than in rows facing forward looking at your back???? Wouldn’t there be more vulnerability facing each other? I need your reflection of God & you need mine …!
isn’t deliverance from bondage & shame become more complete when I not only confess my sin to God but confess to my brother & sister also………? And the more I tell the free-er I become..?
That is the instruction James gave to the community, cbcb, in the 4th chapter:
“The prayer offered with trust will heal the one who is ill – the Lord will restore his health; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, openly acknowledge your sins to one another, and pray for each other, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” Accountability is a relief in having the strength of someone I trust and respect.
In most cases, it takes someone “outside” of our fearful, confused heart to have the perspective to see the root of the thing that keeps us in bondage.
Wow. Preach it, brother.
His strength is my weakness. In the flesh, I see that verse backwards. I read it as if my fractures (weak places) are what He ‘needs’ to be Almighty! LOL! I think it is because, in the flesh, I experienced my weak places (the places where I was sinning, and therefore was trying to hide) as the places others desired most to ‘find out’ so as to take advantage of me. Y’all, the world may operate as if sin (fracture in relationships) is fine, but just try to bobble the ball even a little, and they are crawling all over you in a flash! People magazine is a cruel place to find yourself. In the flesh, I see vulnerability as being asked to voluntarily EXPOSE my self (as in FLASH – LOL!) to others; to set my self up to their ridicule of my shame; to hand over the crates of rotten eggs and tomatoes and pies to throw at me. In the flesh, righteousness (the vulnerability of connection) looks like I am being asked, basically, to sit there and get myself snowed. I mean, going around flashing myself might not be so bad if I knew I had a (flesh) body that was a 10; but, then, who does? This is why the way of the Cross (vulnerability) is foolishness to those who are operating outside the Law (they know they aren’t a 10!), but it is also a stumbling block to those who are trying to get that perfect set of rockhard abs (total connection) before they go ripping open their raincoats, as per the exercise instruction Manual that their ancestors got personally handed on a mountaintop. (Hey; at this point, we’re all screwed!)
In my flesh, I desire most to have all the accoutrements of love: all the glory, all the fame, all the advantages that connections provide, in fact, but I desire them without those connections. I desire them without having to actually go through the ACTIONS of relationship; chief among them the action of making myself vulnerable – of baring my outlet to your plug. In the eyes of the flesh, in fact, vulnerability looks like self-professed shame. Now, mutual shame is the dirty little secret that makes all those who walk in their flesh brothers, yes, but they are actually more like partners in crime (and we all know there is no honor among thieves). At best, we see each other as drinking buddies: someone to commiserate, to hide, WITH. As long as nobody switches on a light we’re all good without our raincoats, right?
To walk in righteousness, though, is to walk without shame, because righteousness is the place of honor. Shame, of course, is about fractured connections (unrighteousness). However, nobody in their flesh can walk through the front door of honor to get to that righteousness for the simple reason that they have to crawl through the hall of humility before they reach honor – as the Word tells us – but the closest the flesh is ever going to get to humility is SHAME. The bad news is, there is no way that shame can make me good. Shame can never give me the power I need to do right. I mean, it cannot even get me to a place of true repentance because repentance is about exposure, but all shame wants to do is hide. At the end of my day, shame is just another gauge on my dashboard. This is why the world is lost, in fact. I think it is because true humility comes from a place of freedom, but shame comes from a place of bondage. They have different fathers. Shame is a side effect of fracture, which is the side effect of a lie, but humility is a side effect of an encounter with a Person known as Truth.
Folks, I have some Good News (Gospel) to share. In fact, for me, this was the key to understanding vulnerability. Vulnerability is not shame. I will repeat myself. I do not think we are being asked to go through shame in order to connect with those around us. Vulnerability does not ask me to shame myself in order to have others accept me. That would be that tailgate party with the world, which asks that you show the shame card to prove you are a member of the Sin Club. The Torah Club, however, is asking no such thing. The Torah Club is asking that you go through a mountaintop experience (exposure) first, yes, but Torah points us the Way to that Mountain (is, in fact the only way to even find that Mountain); however, when we get there, the Mountain (Torah; or, Rules of Engagement) is what gives us an encounter with a Person, and His Name is Truth. The entrance into this club takes the humility that is acquired when I come face to face with the Truth.
What is the truth? The truth is that it is all about Him. Shame is what I experience when I am looking at myself. Humility is what I am experiencing when I am looking at Him. Vulnerability is simply humility in the face of the truth – in the face of love. No shame necessary. The good news is that I confess my sins to Him first (repentance) before I confess them to others (vulnerability). Shame, in fact, to me, anyway, is the recognition that I am dis-connected, but the only thing I can do with shame in my flesh is to cave in to the temptation (sin) to repent to the world, so as to bypass repentance to Him. I think this is the closest the world can come in its desperate need to achieve righteousness on its own terms. How many times did I attempt to confess my sin through shame, to others (if they caught me!), as well as to myself (I used shame as the fuel in my tank for a long time in an attempt to earn love). It doesn’t work! However, when I give Him my weakness (sin), He can then give me His strength (righteousness; or, connection), and my shame (fracture) is healed. My shame (need) is safe only with Him, because only He has the remedy for it. I do not ever have to be ashamed of the gospel of Christ. And what is that gospel? That I have been offered deliverance from this body of shame! LOL! Shame is exposure before deliverance (weakness). Humility is exposure AFTER a Deliverer (power). Halleluah! That is a mountaintop exposure that I can always afford! As long as my life is all about Him (my part), and He is perfect (His part), we’re good to go! His buddies then become my buddies, and, y’all, He’s got ALL the right connections!
Dear Dr. Moen,
I write this as your most unprofitable servant and with all respect.
I serve as a missionary to registered sex offenders in Florida. I often share your articles with them. Your daily emails have become a foundation in my proclaiming the word of God among them.
I am sad to say that there are pedophiles in this flock. I hesitate to show them today’s posting. I’ll have to pray over it. I am inclined to share it nonetheless because there is great interest in this 4 part lesson you are presenting.
Dear Paul,
You have a Community, they are already Vulnerable.
Get them to look forward (which in Hebrew thought is towards their past), Confess to one another, Repent (turn around), Accept total Forgiveness and continue in TORAH.
Shalom
I can’t help but think about Psalm 51.4. Was not David’s confession to our Lord?
“The Hebrew answer is community. The Greek myth of individuality was destroyed when YHVH saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone. As long as you think the Garden is a place of private revelry, you are lost. YHVH’s answer to epithymia is ‘ezer kenegdo—the one who is me outside of me, the one who “sees” me for who I am. Adam had YHVH. It wasn’t enough. You and I must have the “other” in order to become human, to domesticate the epithymia of our shadow lives.”
~~WOW!! What an overlooked, necessary part of life in Torah.
Community. A word full of possibilities and nuances. Something most of us here on this blog do not really have the blessings of. I do not.
There are two things I struggle with and have for some time regarding my being a Torah follower. Observing and keeping Sabbath and not eating pork. I was making progress with both. Stepped out into a new season of life and fell behind again. We have met some good people here in Missouri but none are Torah observant. I am astounded at how much pork is consumed without any thought at all. Growing pork is a HUGE deal here in northwestern Missouri. It is a way of life for many. Doesn’t change what God says about it however. I just find myself wondering how on earth it got so out of whack and seems to be growing.
I think part of my backsliding recently is lack of a community who truly cares about being obedient to God. I have no one in person here to help me or raise an eyebrow at my choices. Realizing this gives me a boost to get back on track and to be different from those around me. To be more pleasing to God.
For me, this focus on sin and what you have proposed Skip is welcome. I need to vomit up stuff that is gnawing away at me. Being an island is an impossible task however, I have no desire to be a part of the masses and to be shoulder to shoulder with so many people. A small community of those who continually seek God’s face and follow Torah would be most welcome though!
This blog helps greatly and has more than once helped me chose to regain my focus.
Thank you all.
Dear Dawn,
I don’t know exactly where you are in Northwest Missouri, however I do know there are people in the Kansas City area. Skip is speaking in the evening during the August 21-23 event in St. Joseph, MO. per my understanding from Sandra Small. It is listed as “A two day conference with Bob Gorelik.” on Skip’s website. Contact Sandra Smail for details. sandygilbertsmail@gmail.com There will be people there that may be able to connect you with other Torah keepers closer to you. Shalom!
I know what you mean Dawn. Before giving up pork, I loved eating it. But now I have no real issue with not eating it. I look at it as simply being obedient and it acts as a reminder of YHWH’s presence and rule each time I have the opportunity to reject it in any form.
The amazing thing is how aware I’ve become of the ubiquitous nature of pork in the U.S.A! It is seemingly in EVERYTHING! I wouldn’t be surprised if someone has created an ice cream with bacon in it.
Nonetheless, I have taken on the challenge of zipping through/around all the obstacles that bacon makes of itself these days.
Now I am simply trying to move on to the other Torah directions. Steps at a time as I figure them out. Sabbath is very tough to observe some times. It is still so easy for me to move in to something that probably is some Sabbath violation. However, I am so very conscience of it, it just makes me think more about what I am doing. I think that is good as I am more focused on thinking about doing that which is pleasing to him.
All in all, a great way to proceed in life, I think. Much better than before acknowledging Torah as a fundamental issue in my life.
Believe it or not there is bacon ice cream!! Crazy.
What you say is good. I intend to get to that point with pork. My husband not so much at this point so that is an additional challenge. I hope to be a quiet (mostly) influence with him. 🙂
Totally agree with the fact that all in all it is a great way to proceed in life. WAY better than before Torah in my life!
Thank you for your encouragement.
Wow Skip. Thanks for putting words to my struggle. I can see it just a little more clearly now, painful but clearly.