Sensory Deprivation
and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. Ephesians 4:19 NASB
Callous – Day 4. We’re working on feelings. In particular, we’re working on what it means to feel our sins. As good Greek citizens, we have command of the theology of sin. The theology of sin is an examination of the duty to obey an ethical standard set up by God Himself. In this cognitive examination, we learn that sin is essentially rule-breaking. Being good means keeping the rules. Being bad means breaking the rules. So theologians tend to define sin as “any failure to conform to the moral law of God in act, attitude, or nature.”[1] Correct, but ineffective, especially for those of us who grew up believing that rules are restrictions on personal freedom! What this means is that our idea of sin is at war with our idea of liberty. We have failed to see sin as anything beyond the scope of our rule-oriented, moral “law” conceptions.
Let’s take a different approach. Imagine your child, the one you love, does something that causes him or her injury and, at the same time, injures others. How do you feel? Do you address that child like the judge behind the bench? “Well, you know you broke the law. You know the consequences. It’s your fault. You must pay for your mistake.” Is that how you feel? I doubt it. I’m guessing that you feel broken-hearted. I’m guessing that you are weeping inside. I’m guessing you feel the pain of your child’s action as if it were your own. You feel the remorse. You feel the distress. You feel the anxiety. Maybe you feel it even if your child doesn’t. The very fact that this is your child who has created such a catastrophe is enough to cause emotional chaos in you. Forget the rules! They don’t matter much now. What matters is the pain, the hurt, the agony of seeing the one you love failing, falling and in trouble. You ache. You experience sorrow. You cry over this child.
“When He approached Jerusalem, He saw the city and wept over it,” (Luke 19:41).
Sin is whatever breaks God’s heart.
Callousness is not caring about what breaks God’s heart. The real mark of the sinner is that he is beyond feeling how God feels. The Greek apalgeo is derived from two words that mean to cease to feel pain or sorrow, to be taken away from grief. In first century Hebrew thought, this is the equivalent of no longer feeling shame, of being dead to our own screams of abandonment.
Rather than hear the sounds of broken hearts, we muffle the cries with powerful sedatives like sex, money and power. We harden our hearts to our own terrors. In the end, sin is whatever prevents us from hearing the Messiah crying.
Topical Index: callous, sin, apalgeo, Ephesians 4:19, Luke 19:41
[1] Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology, http://www.thegravelperspective.com/blog/2013/10/23/grudems-systematic-theology-chapter-24-sin
Exquisite.
Wow
Being a mom of a 4 year old and a 2 year old there have been more than a few times I have wept over the decision that my sons have made (specifically my 4 yr old). The other day he hit his younger brother out of anger and selfishness of heart and as I watched it happen my heart just broke to see him choose that way. It was amazing to see his reaction to my emotion instead of my routine next steps for discipline. He actually became more angry and I believe it was because he was faced with his sin more authentically. He saw physically and emotionally how that affected not just his younger brother but his mother too. His heart in the end was very saddened and remorseful and what an opportunity I had to express our Father’s broken heartedness over our sin and then His redeeming love and forgiveness for him in that moment.
This is REAL stuff. Not just sacred moo milk. Thank you for your words. I am being challenged daily.
Me too.
Makes more sense with Jeremiah 31:31-34 (new kingdom) and why Torah cannot change until then. It’s not just a ‘honey-do-list” but actually what makes Him heartbroken. Correct?
….Callousness is not caring about what breaks God’s heart. The real mark of the sinner is that he is beyond feeling how God feels. ….
And what breaks the heart of the Holy One? His children …. surely His heart is broken when one brother or sister doesn’t kneel down and help another – rather instead stands and gawks, laughs and says “I told you so”…… it is time to grow up, mature in our faith, and KNOW the heart of YHWH … and feel as He feels, see as He sees, and walk in love.
When I decided to re-start my relationship with my Father, I was ‘coming in from the cold’; from the outside, and as such, I had to go look long and hard from that position at all that entailed. I had to see it all from those eyes. A lot of things looked different from there. I remember the most shocking thing I found comfort in – it was, in fact, the deciding factor for me – and that was the fact that there was an unpardonable sin, And, no, it was NOT because I was afraid of committing it! That fear has no redeeming power whatsoever to it, by the way. No, it was because I was suffering, most of all, from abandonment. Abandonment was the viewpoint I was coming from; the lens I had to filter everything through. I mean, the whole world looked like that to me! And it was unbearable. It produced a righteous rage that I had no argument against. That rage, in fact, bound me for a long time. I could find no reason not to be angry. (Know what? I still can’t.)
The fact of the unpardonable sin was the deciding factor for me that convinced me that G-d loved me because, looking at it from His viewpoint, if there were no such thing as an unpardonable sin, it would prove that He does not truly love us. So what is the unpardonable sin? What is sin? Sin is fracture of relationship; sin IS abandonment, in fact. None of us can endure abandonment. If we could, sin would not be sin for us; we would be happy ‘on our own’. But relationship is the nature of love, as abandonment is the nature of sin. A lover cannot abide to be abandoned. Not even G-d. The unpardonable sin is not where He abandons us, as He promises that He never will; no, the unpardonable sin is where we have abandoned Him, and that is a sin no lover can forgive. It breaks His heart, and it stays broken because there is no relationship to fix it. I knew that rage. That was when I realized He and I were on the same page, and not in opposition to each other. I finally found something to agree with Him on! It was that, more than anything else, that convinced me that He truly loved me; loved me enough to abandon Himself on that cross for me, instead. I finally understood Him! Halleluah!
Well said! Callousness is definitely not caring about what breaks God’s heart! …And no longer feeling shame–you’ve nailed it! You know, it’s the worst feeling you can have when your own kids have this kind of callousness and shamelessness, despite all that you’ve deposited into their hearts over the years. It breaks the parent’s hearts similar to how it breaks God’s heart. Certainly, there is weeping along the way. I don’t want to break my Father’s heart. I want to walk in obedience the best way I can despite the obstacles along the way.
Excellent. True spiritual reality is so much more simple than the enemy has made it to be. He created you – He loves you more than life – He will never leave you – He is willing to bear all for you – and will endure through eternity. The choice is ours. Funny, as I’m writing I see a small child standing on the edge of a beautiful lake…he jumps straight up and out, grabbing his ankles so to make the biggest splash landing ever! I want to be that child everyday of my life. Come on in! The water’s GREAT!
Amazing insight. Thanks.
My response today really should have been entered a couple months back, on a previous TW. I apologize for not responding sooner. Since the word today is regarding feelings, and is titled ‘Sensory Deprivation’, maybe this will apply.
I’m sharing the following, for people who went through their childhood not able to feel their own feelings. They may not even know it. I didn’t. I thought everything was peachy, even though most of my relationship decisions were self defeating. So, there I was in my early 40’s, a mom with two precious little kids, and I desperately wanted to do whatever was necessary, to be the best mom I could be. I acted happy, engaged, cheerful, but think of a pot of water on the stove, not boiling, but simmering hot, just before the boil. That is how I felt, and didn’t know why. My babies were my huge incentive to find out what was wrong. I was determined.
I began seeing a non-Christian Psychologist. I was terrified to break the church rule regarding only seeing a Christian counselor, but previous therapy had been unfruitful. It wasn’t any counselor’s fault, nor was it mine. I was too adept at knowing what the counselors wanted to hear. This was not a conscious effort on my part, but the result of a childhood of conforming, to survive.
I worked with an exquisitely skilled Psychotherapist (thank you Dr. Michael Gass). It was intense, scary, difficult, excruciating, and exhausting, every single session. It took a ton of willingness to face my past, and find the feelings I had never felt. I was drenched from perspiration and crying, and my face was puffy each time I drove home. It was brutal. It was good though, because the Kind Shepherd was restoring my soul.
I discovered that all the forgiving I’d previously done, with sincere intentions, was incomplete, because I hadn’t felt the hurt, anger, disappointment, shame, fear, etc., before forgiving. I just forgave because that is what Christians do. So I thought.
I am reminded of the Up Down Pyramid Skips talks about. The Good Shepherd, in His kindness and steadfast care, didn’t leave me as I was. He walked me back through points of my history, and for the first time, I experienced the feelings I had not previously felt. During the process, it is as if YHVH was rewriting my history because once I’d fully felt the feelings and expressed my agony and anger, to myself, to the doctor, and to YHVH, those feelings were replaced with the memories, free from hidden torment.
Today, I feel. I am more human than before. My kids are young adults who had a truly engaged mom. They both love and like me, and I them. They both pursue YHVH, and are thriving in all aspects of their lives. Wish you could know them.
I should say that on occasion, I can still get paralyzed, if I feel strong negative emotions about something, but I am aware and I run to The Shepherd. He keeps leading me in the paths of righteousness. He is still making me whole.
As a side note, even though I couldn’t cry for myself, or for other hurting family members, during the years of our upbringing, I sure could cry for other people’s pain and difficult situations, whether real life or fiction, even over TV shows, movies, or books. I couldn’t cry for myself, but I cried easily, and hard, for others. I’m glad there was some release.
Wishing all of you true Shalom, on this special Shabbat, and great joy as we conclude Counting of the Omer, and commemorate the giving of the Commandments and Torah. Blessings to those who will be studying Torah all night. I’ll be at temple.
Happy Shavuot! Chag Sameach!
This is always a fascinating topic to me. Obviously, compassion should be a vital part of our lives, just as Jesus wept over the city of Jerusalem and its inhabitants. As parents, there are times we are brokenhearted over what our children may do and it may require compassion and love in response to their actions, but there is also a need for discipline (judging and policing). This is a fine line that we as parents tread.
I was raised in a Catholic environment and I was taught that the rules that God has set in place for us are for our own good. If those God-given rules are broken, pain and suffering will come to those breaking the rules and may very well hurt many other people. And, with the breaking of those rules, can come much pain and suffering (feelings). I lost my father and mother at an early age and was placed in an orphanage run by Catholic nuns. I am 72 now and I still have the fondest memories of the time I spent there and I remember the nuns who were so instrumental in shaping my ideas of right and wrong. I remember one nun in particular who was in charge of the boys’ dorm. She was the sweetest, most kind, loving, compassionate person you would ever want to meet. She recently died at the age of 94, but what I learned from her and the other nuns during my formative years is priceless. To learn the difference between right and wrong and maintain that during one’s live produces a real positive, uplifting “feeling.”
I have learned over the decades to “treat each person I meet as though they have a broken heart” because — it just might be broken.
Thank you for your story. Could you share “how” you treat each person as though they have a broken heart? I think that this would be a wonderful quality to cultivate in myself.
Jordan, I can answer that only by telling you of my own experience with my broken heart. I keep in mind Psalm 34:18 — The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Some years ago, I was so distressed within myself that my personality had actually changed so much that people did everything they could to avoid me. This change came about because of my feelings about myself about things I had done in my past. People either avoided me or, as some will do, lashed out at me for my behavior. But, one person in particular, a most beautiful person with the kindest and most loving attitude made it a personal goal to help me out of my distressful situation or at least give me the opportunity to cope with my feelings. One of the first things this person said to me about my situation was: “You don’t need people telling you that what you did was wrong or telling you to ‘snap out of it.’ What you need is compassion.” This was provided, along with a lot of patience, love and caring and I have a handle on my “personality” now.
It’s not always easy to show love for another human being when they may be lashing out at you or causing you some stress in your life, but that’s where the God-like quality we strive to gain is revealed and strengthened. That is also the way I was treated in my formative years. I had no control over where I was placed at seven-and-a-half years of age, but I am so happy today that I was given a home at that orphanage. That was a lifesaver.
Most of us, at one time or another, have had a broken heart. I try to keep in mind how I felt with one and how I wanted to be treated at the time. Then, I try to treat each person I meet with the Christian qualities with which I grew up. I’m only human and I make a lot of mistakes along the way and don’t always do the right thing, but as my youngest daughter tells me, “you never give up.” I try to treat each person I meet with the human dignity they deserve and, hopefully, they will pass that on to the next person they meet.
Sense and Sensibility
Beyond Feelings
That’s the trouble with dead people, —they feel nothing.
~And you [also] were [once] dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you [also] formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.. (Ephesians 2.1)
There are those also who, according to God’s Word are ~Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron ~ they are unscrupulous, having no scruples (a feeling of doubt or hesitation with regard to the morality or propriety of a course of action) since their consciences have been cauterized.
~ Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. ~ (Ephesians 4.19)
Shall we continue?
How about some Good News? You ready? (I am!)
..[Oh!) ~ But God!.., (we could stop right here and it would be enuf!! –but there is more! (So. Much. More.)
~ But God [Yes, Hallelujah!] being [exceedingly abundantly!] — rich in mercy,
because of His great love with which He loved us [Amazing Love- how can it be?]
even when we [too] were [also] dead in our transgressions,
has made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved!)
Alive! Alive! Alive! Hallelujah! Alive forever! – Amen!
and has raised us up with Him..,
and?
~[the One] who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you!
(Romans 8.11)
Even more?
— and has seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus..
and.. it just gets better! J
So that..
—in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in (loving)-kindness toward us in Christ Jesus! Whew! (Ephesians 2.7)
Now, please..— tell me again what it is we might be missing out on?
He (the One) who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who [now] dwells in you.
The Faith of Moses
Something to Look Forward To
…choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward.
By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured, as seeing Him who is unseen..
Our Reward? — To one day (perhaps sooner than we think) hear Him say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant,—you have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your Master.” (Matthew 25.23)
i know Yeshua wept in the gospels because of their unbelief, and I know we can grieve the Spirit of G-d, but I have a hard time believing the Father and Messiah Yeshua are crying when the victory has already been won.
Knowing that the war with Japan would end after dropping the atomic bomb did not remove the agony of so many victims. Victory was assured but hundreds of thousands continued to suffer. Since God loves ALL of His creation, don’t you suppose the pain of seeing it in its present state is enormous even though He knows it will eventually be restored?
My sister-in-law was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. A little blob of death attached to one end of her pancreas threatened to end her life. She went through seven hours of surgery. The doctor reported reported of her complete post-surgery success. They had removed all the cancerous volume. We all, of course, were elated. Great news! Victory.
Then we went in at the appropriate time to see her. The victory was hers, yes, however, she certainly didn’t look, feel, or experience the joys of the victory. Even with the anesthesia and pain remedies in effect she looked as if she was still in the heat of battle. She almost looked as if she had died. Her face reflected the battle scars. The anesthesiologist brought her to the very edge of death and then brought her back to the edge of life. There she lay on her hospital bed. Unable to move, even her head was seemingly immobile. She was breathing and ‘healed’ but you would never know it by the looks of her.
Alive? Yes.
Victory? She was still with us.
The road ahead? A long and difficult one.
Recovery will be difficult, painful, strenuous and evident daily.
Her insides have been pummeled. Her body attacked, racked, and twisted from the invasive ‘victory.’
The sharp blade returned life to her but at a tremendous cost to her body as a whole.
It will be days of the pain of healing. Yes, she is healing but she is definitely in visible anguish. The healing knife dealt a painful blow that will leave her with tangible after affects to suffer through even though the ‘victory’ is both present with her and also out ahead of her.
She is thankful to still be with us. However, she is also showing visible signs of pain, anguish, suffering and weariness.
So, yes, maybe in truth, in the theology of things, within certain doctrinal stances, the victory has been won.
Yet, the road to that triumph and conquest is bloodied and heavy.
Welcome to the real world in which we live.
Live, Laugh and Love are wonderful opportunities. But I don’t think they always come alone. Real life disguises each with the serum of an ongoing brawl, thanks to our recurrent misplaced passion. Torah’s burden is light but with heavy implications at times.