L’chaim
Then the virgin will rejoice in the dance, and the young men and the old, together, for I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow. Jeremiah 31:13 NASB
Joy – “The four usages of the verb śûś in the Mosaic writings occur in Deut 28:63 and 30:9, twice in each verse. Here, amid the Mosaic warnings of the blessings and cursings, three times the Lord is pictured as one rejoicing over Israel to bless them for obedience to his Law, and once as rejoicing over them to destroy them for disobedience!”[1]
Better read that again. Rejoicing (experiencing joy) is associated with both blessings and judgment. YHVH rejoices over blessing those who are obedient. He does not withhold any good thing. He delights in granting favor. He desires to protect and provide. His actions are filled with goodness toward those who take up His instructions and adopt His way of life. But, according to the passage in Deuteronomy, He also is glad to punish disobedience. That seems entirely counterintuitive. We would have thought God would be sorrowful when He was forced to engage in judgment. Not so! The reason judgment is also a joyful experience is that it has corrective purposes. Judgment is not wrath. It is not vengeance. It is correction. YHVH can fell joy over judgment because it is designed to return the wanderer to the right path. A child corrected is a delight to his parents. Just so, YHVH is delighted to act with judgment because He knows this will alter the choice of disobedience and return the prodigal to the father’s home.
“śûś here thus seems to convey the idea of God’s enthusiasm to bless the righteous and to punish the wicked. Fortunately, by God’s mercy, Deut 30:9 shows that when Israel at last turns back to him, that ‘the Lord will again rejoice over thee for good.’”[2]
Have you been judged—and found wanting? I have. I am keenly aware of my failures, my deliberate choices to circumvent the mitzvot. YHVH has graciously judged me. He has punished with the purpose of causing me to return to Him. He rejoices in His act because He knows it will get my attention and alter my direction. I find joy in His punishment when I realize that it is not retaliation but rather the loving correction of a Father who cannot countenance the thought of my absence. The husks I had to eat in the pig pen were designed to bring me to my senses—and set me on a path to return home.
Joy is my experience of blessing, and sometimes the blessing comes with bitter flavors. Joy is my ability to see that YHVH never gives up on me, never desires that I should be cast into outer darkness, never stops correcting so that I might experience the other side of joy—His cornucopia of abundance. Day 16.
Topical Index: sus, joy, judgment, blessing, Jeremiah 31:13
[1] Cohen, G. G. (1999). 2246 שׂוּשׂ. In R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer, Jr. & B. K. Waltke (Eds.), Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer, Jr. & B. K. Waltke, Ed.) (electronic ed.) (873). Chicago: Moody Press.
[2] Ibid.
Disaster is where sin yanked the feast off my table by grabbing the tablecloth. Curses, as delineated in Deut. 28 and other places, are a consequence of relationship fracture, of sin. The curses show up to show me the fracture points, so that I can make a correction. The curses are not punishments; no, those are reserved for the Great White Throne Judgment. The curses reflect the mercy of G-d. They give me time to repent and restore. They do NOT reflect, even in a tiny iota, what was actually incurred as a debt to Him, as well as the rest of the universe I ended up fractured from, when that fracture occurred. Putting self first messes up a whole lot more than just me! Now, how am I supposed to get all that set back right by just a little suffering?! It does not help that the sin of others messes me up, too. I can incur the curses that are the result of another’s sin; in fact, sin is NEVER a solitary problem, for all sin reflects a break in relationship in some dimension, either between myself and G-d, myself and myself (yes, I can sin against myself!) or myself and others. No mere punishment can set that right. The only thing that could possibly set a break of relationship right is going to be the restoration of that relationship. (A side note of interest to me is that, in the Hebrew economy, sin against another was not considered a crime against the state(!), but instead, something that required a recompense – with interest, mind you – by the perpetrator directly back to the victim. Hmm. But I digress.)
I raised a pack of kids, and I was one (or is that a continuing progressive state? LOL!) too, and I can assure anyone that what a child fears most is being shut out of interaction with his or her parents. A child is viscerally connected to the parents with an emotional and spiritual umbilical cord that is not supposed to be severed until the age of puberty (bar mitzvah (or bat mitzvah)), where I hear the father is supposed to get down on his knees in front of his child and thank YHVH that he is no longer responsible for that child’s direct relationship with Him! Now, a child literally becomes paralyzed; his or her growth stunts or can become completely shut down, even, if he or she gets shunted outside an active participation in the lives of the parents. Children live vicariously through the lives of their parents: they rejoice, mourn, revel in glory, or suffer as the parents do. They also learn with them. An insecure child – one that is not being adequately assured of connection – is going to be a child who is going to either be checking constantly to see if the parent is paying attention to him or her, or is going to be actively trying to get their attention, or, failing that, is going to be at least attempting with all their might to share their resultant misery of that lack of connection! Because a child was hardwired and designed to derive his or her very life from parents, the child cannot choose to initiate fracture, or, sin, against his or her parents. If there are relationship challenges, they will, therefore, always, as far as I have been able to tell, anyway, be at least the INITIATING fault of the parents.
In the lists of the types of abuse that people can suffer from, I have seen various ascending orders of severity. Starting with physical abuse (the least severe, at least in terms of long-term overall damage, surprisingly), and ranking up through verbal, emotional and sexual abuse, the lists always conclude with abandonment. Abandonment is the thing no child can adjust to. In fact, I think a child will always act out, either around others (at least to the extent he or she still feels that others can be trusted), or, if they no longer trust that their parents or others can or will connect with them, they will turn to acting out against themselves. These are the silent ones. They have decided that the only way to ‘punish’ the abandonment of others is to remove themselves from those others. These children have turned the rage inward. They have lost the ability to trust themselves to fix the problem. Without an exception, if asked (and when asked) these children will tell you that they would much rather have been beaten, or at least yelled at, or, or. Need I continue? Question: when does an acting out child (a child who is suffering from incorrect relationship, or relationship fracture) get happy? When he or she gets attention! Any kind! Even the worst kind! Why? Because then they know that they haven’t been abandoned: that there is still hope for them.
We have a Father Who delights in showing us, no matter where we are; either in relationship (blessings) or outside of it (curses) that He is never going to leave us or forsake us, no matter what we may think about it. Disaster is one way to bring relationship to a head: ask anyone who has hit bottom! Of course, there are other ways, but those other ways require at least some reciprocity on our part. Our choice. As always.
You said “the child cannot choose to initiate fracture or sin against their parents”. I am a father of two children now in their thirty’s. It has been my position for sometime that there is no such thing as “bad kids” just “bad parents”