The Real World
A heart at peace gives life to the body. Proverbs 14:30 (J. Sacks)
At peace – John and Paul said it all. “Give you all I’ve got for a little peace of mind.” Without this, life fades to oblivion. Without this, it’s not worth continuing. Solomon understood what the boys from Liverpool were looking for. Shalom is the result of hokmah, wisdom, and wisdom is the special subject of the sayings of Proverbs. But perhaps there’s one small aspect of Hebraic connections to wisdom we might have overlooked. Jonathan Sacks hints at it.
“Wisdom is about ‘creation,’ that is, the here-and-now, the real, empirical, everyday world in which most people find themselves most of the time. Its ideal type is the hakham, the wise man, or better still, the wise woman: Proverbs 1-9 sees wisdom as a female attribute, and the book ends with the famous hymn of praise to the eshet hayil, the woman of moral strength. Its approach to morality, while deeply religious, is also prudential, pragmatic, and experience-based. It is more oriented to virtue than to the rule-based morality we associate with Torah and Halakha. . . . The best way of acquiring a moral sense is to live constantly with yirat Hashem, awe in the conscious presence of God.”[1]
Sacks’ comment reminds us of the role of the ‘ezer kenegdo, the woman of God’s design. Proverbs 31 is about the character and attitude of the “warrior woman” (not the “woman of virtue” as it is so often mistranslated). Valor is her aura. But it is not the result of physical prowess. It is the result of yirat Hashem, in the fullest sense much more than simply “fear of the Lord,” or even awe. Ira Stone teaches us that yirat Hashem is more than awe. It is “the experience of overwhelming trepidation at the infinite nature of our responsibility for the other,” in contrast to “the experience of gratitude for the possibilities of infinite joy available to us in meeting that responsibility.”[2]
The special domain of the ‘ezer kenegdo is the innate ability to feel this experience. It is not a rational conclusion. It is an emotional awareness. And it is hard-wired into the design and covenant between YHVH and His ultimate creation—the woman. The reason Proverbs treats “Wisdom” personified as a woman is because hokmah is not reasoned, logical deduction. Hokmah is experiencing the presence of God in the everyday world. Women are uniquely designed to not only feel that experience but convert it into care for others, the ultimate expression of the character of God Himself. Peace of mind is the pathway that God sets before a woman. Manifesting that peace in the lives of all she touches is the destiny God designed into her. Accepting the responsibility of converting the awareness of His peace into tranquility for others is her challenge.
If men want peace of mind, they must find an eshet hayil who is the ‘ezer kenedgo of life.
Topical Index: eshet hayil, ‘ezer kenegdo, yirat Hashem, Proverbs 14:30, woman
[1] Jonathan Sacks, Covenant & Conversation, p. 37.
[2] Ira Stone, commentary on Moses Luzzatto, Mesillat Yesharim, p. xx.
Question: when does a woman shut up; quit fidgeting; quit hounding others; quit shopping(!); quit comparing herself to other women; quit incessantly worrying about if she appears lovely and attractive, and quit wondering if God loves her? When does she start purring with satisfaction; start laying back and adding space between her words, her actions and her breaths – start slowing others down, too, by pointing out to them, or even providing for them, the little pause that refreshes that is theoretically possible in each of their moments; and when does she start acting like she is already all that – already lovely and ready to spread it around (instead of looking for it in every other eye): when does she quit crying for love because she is standing in the middle of her cosmos? (Does all that count as one question?) Perhaps it does if there is one answer!
A woman needs to be needed like love needs to be loved; that’s her bottom need – the locus of her deepest creed, and the answer to her perennial question: “who am I”? She is therefore going to gravitate toward anything that calls out to her with a lack of peace, for peace is what she desires to give; to accomplish. This is the real reason that there are men who hate women and the women who love them, for a woman considers someone who thinks they hate her as a challenge; she is quite sure that they are really wrong, and just need her to show them! (no comment) I am quite sure that there is not a woman on the planet who is not completely sure she has the answer to any and all lack of peace, if somebody would just listen! Men, who are overwhelmingly vested at the pinnacles of power, however, are equally vested in making sure the women lack the power to create that peace, for control (power) is to found in the chaos of disaster. No women allowed! Men make messes: women clean them up. Egypt (chaos) was invented by a man, that’s for sure!
Thank you, Skip, for answering a whole lot of questions and putting words to a whole lot of my experience! I still think that this understanding may well be the biggest gift you have been given; this talent of seeing the role of women (peace). I pray that this gift be abundantly blessed, and may His Word not return to Him void, but accomplish all He purposes. Amen. And a big shout out to you from all us women! Hip hip hurray for Skip!
And the men all echo that comment by Laurita and say hurray for Skip because after reading Guardian Angle we all (giggle giggle) understand women. HA HA HA. I must say in all seriousness that the book gave me much insight to how women react to the world. There is much in the book that men should learn and put into use to live wisely with the woman they love.
Thanks. Rosanne (my wife) would agree–and tell me to read it AGAIN! Thanks to all the readers who have found something useful in the book, I have seen many people grow in relationships as a result.
The struggle for peace today is real!!
Proverbs 14:1-“The wisest of women builds her house,
but folly with her own hands tears it down.” ESV
In my own experience, too many leaders focus on outlandish teachings rather than the practicality of knowing one another as YHWH designed us. Many thanks to Skip and others who help us slog our way through!
It really is up to us:
Prov. 16:16 “How much better it is to get wisdom than gold!
And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver.” ESV
The Real Deal
A Genuine Faith
Oy. That’s the only way I know how to start this. David was a “real” shepherd who lived in the “real” town of Bethlehem. All of the people mentioned in the Bible were “real” people. (I can’t believe I’m doing this!- for real! lol!)
The disciples were “real.” Christ was “real.” The cross was “real.” The thorns were “real.” The beating was “real.” The blood shed for you and for me was red and “real.”
The blessings we enjoy every single day and throughout each day are “real.”
~ For Thou, O God, hast proved us: thou hast tried us, as silver is tried ~ (Psalm 66:10) Friend, the faith that cannot be tested cannot be trusted! ~That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perishes, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ..~ (1 Peter 1.7) Think of the joy unspeakable and testimonies of those three Hebrew men, Shadrach, Meschech and Abednego as they emerged unscathed and untethered from the fiery furnace!
We wouldn’t be so “tense” if we would pay attention to the “tense!” ~ AFTER you have suffered awhile, (the servant is not above his Master!- and how was He matured?) make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you. ~ (1 Peter 5.10)