Being pushed down the road
One of the frustrations of traveling and teaching is the lack of time to meditate. I’m afraid that spiritual knowledge can’t be rushed, especially in the Hebraic context where knowing is not simply gathering information but also absorbing the content into life transformation. It’s far easier to accumulate books, audio files and web pages than it is to live what you learn. Constant movement from one airport to another, one venue to another, does not facilitate this transformation. In addition, feeling the pressure to produce something “new” for each group of eager learners often puts enormous strain on my personal time of reflection. Yes, I can produce, but I am often keenly aware of the disconnect between my words and my deeds even if my audience is impressed by the delivery. There are many occasions when all I want to do is cry, collapse, be sheltered and know that you, all of you, will still find me acceptable. Perhaps this is an age-old dysfunctional psychic reality of those who spend their lives on the “stage.”
Please understand that I am not complaining. I love what I do. I feel born to it. It is the most rewarding, most exhilarating thing I have ever done and I have no intention of stopping—ever. But it exhausts me, and that leaves me vulnerable to all kinds of substitute comforting behaviors. Your excitement about what I learn and share pushes me down the road to discover more, until I too feel overwhelmed, inadequate and confused. I might be one step ahead, if even that, but as I run I also fall down. Sometimes with significant bruising. I am so grateful that I am pushed. Perhaps feeling pushed is merely an internal mechanism. I am sure that if I asked, you would all say, “Hey, slow down. Relax. We aren’t going away.” But I suffer from the “not good enough” syndrome, a self-inflicted disease that keeps me wondering if the next time I will fail you. It’s time for me to confront that demon before it really does kill me.
So I am going away. Just for a few days. To a safe place where I can deal with who I have made myself to be in order to avoid all these feelings of inadequacy. A place where what I know may become who I really am, deeply from the inside. I have no guarantee that this will happen, but I know it is time to try. I am reaching burn-out, not because I travel too much but because I feel too little.
Just say a prayer for me if you think about it. I’ll be back after awhile and we will continue.
I love all of you. Thank you.
Skip
Wow! I felt like I was reading about myself too! Thanks for your honesty and putting into words what I and many others feel too. Prayers being lifted for you. The LORD strenthen you. I appreciate all your work and completely understand your need to rest.
Go to the desert, Skip, and be refreshed by the Spirit. We will await further teaching. We will feast on past lessons as we continue feeding on the Word. Shalom aleichem. Evelyn
I support you in prayer before YHVH. Thank you for trusting us enough to share. May YHVH bless you and safeguard you, May YHVH illuminate His countenance for you and be gracious to you. May YHVH turn His countenance to you and establish peace for you. Shalom, Skip.
God be with you. Be blessed and regenerated in Jesus name.
My wife and I are, possibly among your newest students and understand respite.We love your teachings
and look forward to seeing a new and refreshed authentic Skip Moen in a while, however long it takes.
thanks. and thanks for joining the community. The Today’s Word editions will not stop in my absence as they were written in advance. Keep reading.
When I began my quest to find the truth exactly four years ago this week I had almost no real understanding of the OT and I dismissed it as being of little value. Like the Greek that I was I pursued Cartesian logic to discover the truth. We met Skip and Rosemary on a cruise trip that ironically included a visit to Athens and Ephesus Greece. The dawn of my awakening began without me even knowing it when I learned that Skip, who was giving a daily port preview presentation, had a website that I “MIGHT FIND INTERESTING.”
I found my truth when I recrossed my Jabbok, the Atlantic Ocean, started reading TW and “recovered the intent of God’s scriptures one Hebrew or Greek word at a time.” The day will never come when I do not start without you Skip. Shalom and thank you so much for what you have given us both.
God be with you in this time of contemplation and rejuvenation. Blessings
Dear Skip,
I honor your willingness to serve us, and me, too. I want to thank you for such a rich connection in the Body. Thank you for sharing yours with others. Thank you for a functioning vector; for showing what one looks like, too. Thank you, too, for putting up with such a fool as I.
I am praying, and have been ever since I found your first intimation of this present growing spurt (struggle). This is so much bigger than you, but that does not mean your load got bigger. That just means you have to share the weight more. I am praying for the pause that refreshes for you, and may you come back farther up and farther along. Fighting!
P.S. Just a suggestion, but if you need more time, please just run reprints of some of those very choice TW
s of the past. It’s way more than a mouthful for me, at least, anyway!
Love to you and Roseanne,
Laurita
Shalom and rest for you, Skip! Know you are loved, regardless of what you have to give. I pray that as you withdraw to the quietness of aloneness, you are refreshed in His living water, that the stone is turned to flesh, and that you are able to see you as He sees you. Love to you (and Roseanne).
Skip, thanks for all you do. I occasionally look at other blogs but yours is one I start with every morning. Just know your labor is not in vain and that you are more than “adequate”. The gift that God has put in you is essential inspiration to many, like me, who look forward to each day’s revelation of the Scriptures that you share with us. May Hashem give you abundant rest, refreshment and revelation!!!
praying for rest and peace my friend.
(( prayers )) <3
Joyful sabbatical, Skip, you are well loved, and so appreciated
for your labour of love in reaching out to bring us to a richer spiritual understanding and walk before ABBA, to bless all of us here.
ABBA with you, Rosanne and your loved ones. Shalom!!
Skip. So glad you really are human like the rest of us. 🙂 You are precious and I am delighted you are seeking time to find/remember who you are… To yourself and to God…I applaud the courage “to get off the wheel” and take this time. My prayers are with you. Ginny
I’m glad you don’t feel comfortable with the mismatch between daily life and the call. Good luck wrestling with the message/messenger.