Helplessly Angry
Let them be as a snail which melts away as it goes along, like the miscarriages of a woman which never see the sun. Psalm 58:8 NASB
Miscarriages – I’m angry. Are you? I’m angry that the wicked prevail. I’m angry that I have to struggle while they seem to have lives of ease. I’m angry that life is so hard. I’m angry that I have so many responsibilities while those who don’t care about You, Lord, have little concern for others. I’m angry that I have been betrayed, hurt, lied to, abused. I’m angry that the world expects me to take care of its needs when I am drowning. I’m angry that You don’t seem to rescue me when I need it. I’m angry that I don’t see Your vengeance on those who make my life so difficult. And so I’m praying to You, Lord. Punish them! Shatter them! Tear them apart! Make them wish they were never born!
[The] “imprecatory psalms” are prayer songs so designated because of their particularly vigorous attitude toward the enemy. The verb “imprecate” means “to pray evil against” or “to invoke curse upon” another, hence the name for these prayers. There is no indication that the editors of the Psalter or the ancient petitioners in the first or second temple would have distinguished these particular prayers from the other tep̱illôṯ, where frequent petition to God for the death and destruction of the foe rises.[1]
David could be angry before God. In fact, he could even hold God accountable for not punishing enemies. Most of us don’t seem to be able to do that. We feel squeamish about shouting at God in anger. We feel uncomfortable demanding He smash our foes or make them like miscarriages—never born. Somehow we have been taught that these kinds of feelings aren’t holy. So we hold them back. We pray “nice” words while our hearts are churning. The Asbury Bible Commentary captures this dysfunctional “spiritual” assessment of emotion. “The disciple of Jesus must also realize that any disquiet he or she feels in reading these prayers is due to the redeeming influence of the Lord and his apostles, . . .”[2] But why? Why must the “disciple of Jesus” feel discomfort over these prayers? Ah, because God is love, right? Because Jesus would never be angry, especially at God. Right? Because those Old Testament ideas are no longer healthy psychology. Today we have moved beyond anger. Today we are calm in the security of God’s sovereignty.
I have a word for this. It is, unfortunately, an angry, unprintable word. You probably can guess. If I cannot be angry before God, if I am required to treat God with holy kid gloves so as not to upset Him with my real emotions, then I will have to find another outlet for the reality of my life. And most of the time that will lead me to some medicating behavior which contemporary society calls addiction. Anger is part of life! I’m angry just thinking that people tell me it shouldn’t be part of life. The problem is not anger. Anger is real. It happens. It is part of being human. The problem is what I do with it, and the biblical answer is not “give it to Jesus.” The biblical answer is be angry, and do not sin. Feel it. Let it out. Cry out to the Lord. Tell Him exactly what is happening with you. Even blame Him if that’s what you feel. And not a couple of minced words. Give Him both barrels. Empty the magazine. Demand that He slaughter the enemies or crush them like snails. Just notice that you are asking Him to do something, not that you are requesting permission for you to do something. Be helplessly angry.
And see what happens.
Topical Index: anger, imprecatory psalms, Psalm 58:8
[1] https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/asbury-bible-commentary/Imprecatory-Psalms
[2] Ibid.
Well, I have noticed that you cannot, cannot be “helplessly angry” unless you are either a child who is aware of their impotence, or are actually trusting the person you are acting out in front of.
The first ‘lesson’ I remember learning, as a child, after I realized that there was going to be no responsible person in my life to take my anger TO, was that revealing your helplessness, anger or overwhelm in any way was a good invitation to further abuse, and so I learned to swallow it. I remember looking around and evaluating my chances of being able to explain myself to this person or that – or whether or not they were going to have the POWER to be able to help me even if they did. I remember scanning whole crowds in desperation, and realizing that I was not seeing anyone I thought I even had a chance with. Time to swallow. I was very aware of my impotence, which just increased my anger, but there was no one I thought I could trust. This was when the shame set in. The impotence created the sense of shame, but the shame only seemed to start to be a factor when I realized that the anger was not going to help me. The walls of my fort were not working.
Anger was given to us for protection; to protect either ourselves or those around us who need it. We are supposed to get angry when we become aware of injustice. I needed very much to see that capacity in people around me, particularly people in the church family, but what I saw were people turning their eyes away from my pain. No one wanted to take the responsibility for the anger of a child. No one wanted to get INVOLVED. I was isolated. When I realized that I was alone, the anger about THAT was too much to process, and despair set in. I turned the anger inward when I realized there was no one I could trust, and that was the day the shame began. It is said that depression is anger turned inward. For me, that was true. I hated myself for the impotence. It was the only anger I could afford. There was no one I felt was there to hear my silent scream. I cannot remember crying after about age twelve. For the next twenty years, I never even went there.
I remember being angry when I read that Jesus set a child on His knee and taught that we were to become as the child if we wanted to enter the Kingdom. What part of that child ever helped ME enter that Kingdom? I didn’t even know how to pray, as that child, about my disaster, it loomed so large. I do remember screaming, as best as I could dare, at Him, as I got older, but there seemed to be no answer.
The trust of a child who knows that their anger about injustice is going to get a reaction from their heavenly Father is a child who is not afraid to express that anger. I remember being jealous of David, who could yell and stamp his foot and call for judgment day. I hated those Psalms! It took me a long time to understand that He was as angry as I, and more so, at the fractures of my life, and did not ever leave me in my distress, but that you can be cursed by the choices of others when you are dependent upon those others. The hardest lesson for me, therefore, has been the best one. I must put ALL my dependence upon Him only, for all other sources of power are going to fail. Yes, I think I know that now! My anger at those sources for failing is the best information I have to remind me that there is only one true Source for the power of love I need to save me. Just One. Nowadays I am not angry about that: I am grateful! Halleluah!
“You know not what kind of spirit you are of” comes to mind here–think that’s germane? David may not have had the faith to call down fire from Heaven, but did he write that psalm before or after he assumed the monarchy?
Did Yeshua utter any imprecatory prayer when He was alone with His Father? Was He angry when He cursed the fig tree or when He made a whip and overturned the tables? I ponder questions such as these.
Good one Skip! I have come under fire for years for leaning on these prayers. Many told me I needed to be more merciful, and sometimes maybe that’s true. However, when injustices prevail, the theme of my song is two part harmony with David.
In these past few weeks ive come to realize that “fair” is an event that happens here in October, not how life works.
Im beyond proficient at the “be angry” part; its the “and sin not” that hangs me up
Sometimes I wonder if God doesn’t have HDE, Heavenly Dimension Earplugs to at least muffle the most violent of imprecatory utterances mouthed as prayers. I mean everyone thinks God is on their side and should smash and destroy, slash and burn or crush the sculls of enemies and innocents, if they are on the other side, from their perspective. We assume we know God’s perspective, both sides feel that way, but what can we really know for certain about that perspective, except what He has revealed to us. So we scream, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”. Sometimes we take matters into our own “righteous” hands. Sometimes we just scream the words and leave it at that. We utter a prayer for help and assistance and justice. And them we trust. And then we trust. And then we trust. Oh, there are many times when I am quite sure God is hard-of-hearing, vacationing and in need of my mighty assistance. And then I remember, there is that word again, the Messiah’s words to love your neighbor and pray for your enemy, and I don’t believe that was an imprecatory prayer intended by Yeshua.
The key to Hebrew prayer is that all emotions lead to the Father. Hebrew prayer is not about ridding ourselves of “bad” emotions. It is about bending every emotion so that it turns us in the direction of His will, and then we discover that some of those emotions were merely transport, not destination.
David, what do you think people want most when it comes right down to what they think justice is? When it comes down to it, I think what we want is for the perpetrator to put themselves in our shoes: to experience what they did to us, and then realize, through that experience, WHY it was wrong. We don’t just want them to be punished: oh, no, we want them to UNDERSTAND us, which was something they obviously were not doing when they did us wrong. If you break it down, we are angry because relationship was broken by the sin. All true justice will accomplish that transmission of understanding, and all recipients of that injustice will be satisfied by that recognition – that repentance. “I was wrong.”
I think the Great Engineer uses life events to bring about the best possible chances for all of us to recognize and repent of our sins. That satisfies real justice.
I wonder if Achan and his family agree with that? It seems some destinies (Ananias and Sapphira?) are to serve as deterrents for others–manifesting wisdom to those who will glean it from others’ experiences. I think most people fundamentally want the perpetrators to stop sinning like that against anyone, but allow your way is the more desirable approach, if it is effective. If not…
Hopefully, all of us writing about anger today will come to see anger as a transport mechanism, not a solution.
And also hopefully, new believers will read the comments, too.
Laurita, maybe what people want most with regards to justice, is to just feel like they matter and are heard, that they mean something in this creation, that it all is not out of their control and futile, that there is fairness and that it is/was all worth it. And maybe most of all, something that shows or exhibits or displays that God really is in control. Now that’s the tough one because it may not happen in their lifetime, but they must believe that God’s will will be done on this Earth as it is in Heaven and that God’s restoration project is in full swing. The New Creation began with the resurrection and will be completed when all things are put in subjection, so that God will be all in all. All this requires a strong dose of trust and stick-to-itiveness in spite of everything that screams just the opposite.
When I was 9, I experienced incest, was not believed by my mom and stopped the abuse myself. All the time praying for God to ” get him”. Seemed like nothing ever happened. In my 20’s, the abuser apologised. Not much-needed relief. We had a very guarded relationship for years and eventually lost touch. Many years later we reconnected because of family. My husband and I were traveling to his area and we were asked to stop and visit. With much trepidation I agreed. We arrived at lunch time and we were asked to join them. My dad put out both hands and asked us to join in blessing the meal. It was not a small prayer and I immediately knew that God “had got him”. Our new relationship progressed slowly. I was able to get to know my step-mom and my dad. Eventually he developed Lewy-body syndrome (Parkinsons with dementia). My step-mom passed after several years and my dad came to live with my husband and I. I was very angry when I prayed as a child, I would’ve never imagine my prayer being answered by God really getting him and changing both our lives so much. I was truly blessed to get to know and love him before he passed in July last year. It’s so amazing how God answers prayer.
Thank you for sharing your story, Claudette. It gives me hope today.
Claudette, thank you for telling your story. It demonstrates one of the most important things for all of us to remember: people change. We allow that we ourselves will change, but frequently it’s too easy to look at the ones who hurt us and say “they” will never change. I wonder how often we hinder our own prayers by holding onto pictures of others as they were and thinking “they” can never change.
The timing of this TW could not have been more apropos, coming after I received news that one of my family’s lifelong friends was murdered yesterday. I am shell shocked. I am blanketed with grief. And I am angry.
I don’t think I ever experienced “helpless anger” until my life felt threatened. I’ve been angry and helpless, but not both at the same time. I was taught to be strong and courageous in the face of fear. Once you realize the heavens are probably not going to open immediately and zap you I think it deepens your relationship with the Father. Part of you that is very “real” is being exposed to the light of the one that can truly handle it.
I am praying for you in your challenge, Rusty. Thank you for your courage, and for being a part of us that encourages me. It cannot have been easy for you, considering what you have been fighting, but your courage is contagious!
Thank you for this, Skip. Nine years ago I was an atheist. It was anger that brought me inching back toward belief. I cursed God and screamed at Him and raged at Him and didn’t fear Him in the least. He met me in that anger. Over the years that followed, I struggled and writhed and recoiled and dissolved in His hands. The reconstitution process is happening now, still, all these years later. I have not emerged from that process. (Will I ever?) And while I fear Him now, I miss the raw tenacity of my prayers from years ago. Maybe He does too. Maybe He didn’t dissolve me so that I could stay a blob of gumptionless goo.
And, let’s not forget…the driving force behind anger is usually sadness. Perhaps we need to look more closely at our sadness, our hurts, our pain, to better understand the anger. Sometimes, acknowledging the hurt can help us release the anger and tap into the real root of the problem.
Yes, I do this from time to time…but of course only in private. I am also bold enough to ask God to show me why horrible things are happening to me and others in the world. I don’t always get a revelation but sometimes I do. I beg for help and mercy too. It sure doesn’t hurt to ask. He can surely take it.
Thank-you for this honest post
Wow! I’ve needed to ‘hear’ that for a longggggggggg …. time now.
Thank-you for the clarity of thought.
It’s done me good : )
Thank you so much for writing this post.
I liked this post, too.