The Keys to Recovery
For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Romans 1:21 NASB
Honor/give thanks – Addictions affect the mind. You probably assumed that was the case with drug abuse, but it is just as true with overeating, gambling, over working, drinking too much, substituting lust for love, shopping to feel better, exercising to change your mood and a dozen other ways that we block feelings through diverging actions. Each time you participate in your special mood changer, you build a neural pathway that alters the synaptic and chemical composition of your mind. Pretty soon the pathway is so well entrenched that it becomes an automatic way of coping. Guess what? You’re an addict.
Paul has something to say to addicts. We don’t read his words as if they were about psychopathology, but maybe we should. Paul says that the minds and hearts of these people were futile and darkened because they lacked two essential basic activities. If we read Paul’s insight as though it were written to addicts instead of spiritualizing it so that it only applies to those people who are not like us—the lost—then maybe we can learn something about the two keys for addictive recovery. Those two keys are the sovereignty of God and eternal gratefulness.
In order to recover from any of the above-mentioned mind-altering behaviors, we must first acknowledge (that’s much more than just saying it) that God is in control. In other words, God has engineered life so that we will feel what happens. We will have feelings of regret, remorse, rejection, despair, discouragement, abandonment. Life is designed to provide those feelings because they are the vehicles that bring us closer to Him. We will discover, if we let ourselves feel what is happening, that He is the only true and completely faithful lover of our souls. Any substitute, any person, any circumstance we use to fill the empty spaces of those emotions really declares that God is not my God. My god is the god I use to make me feel better. An addict denies the true sovereignty of God by insisting that He cannot be in control or these things would not happen to me. The first step in recovery is to admit that my god failed and that the God is really the only God.
The second step in Paul’s recovery manual is just as crucial. It is to be grateful—always, all the time, everywhere. Not being grateful alters the heart. It tells us that things shouldn’t be this way. It screams at the universe for not being fair. It shakes a fist at God’s engineering and demands a refund. It produces anger which leads to frustration which leads to despair which leads to more suppressing addictive behavior. Gratefulness has the opposite effect. Gratefulness sees every engineered experience as God’s way of recovering my true identity, of repairing my damaged self, or bringing me back to wholeness. Gratefulness turns my world into a journey toward Him. Every step is filled with joy because He is drawing me out of the disaster I created. To be grateful is to love life.
If we suppose that Paul is writing to addicts, we will stop dismissing his comments as though they are meant for the truly reprobate. We might even discover that there are choices in our lives that lead away from the sovereign God who brings life in abundance. We might discover that the daily routine of turning our lives over to One who actually can do something about things and being grateful that He does is a road to well-being. It’s not a cure, of course. For that you will need a new mind and a new heart. But isn’t that the goal?
So let’s start with this. Every time you feel whatever it is that bothers you, say, “God, You’re in charge of this and I thank You.”
Topical Index: addiction, gratefulness, sovereignty, Romans 1:21
Honor. I sometimes wonder if we are the society that has perfected disrespect, and elevated it to a religion. Native Americans were known for respect, and their honor was used against them in many ways. We used their respect for the land (they did not think they ‘owned’ it) to shove them off of it. We used their respect for our superiority of force as a way to jeer at their ‘weakness’, and we used their self respect, too. I noticed early on in my life that this seemed to be a typical pattern for the response of the West to indigenous societies everywhere. Missionaries, in particular, seemed to believe the quickest way to shift someone’s paradigm was to run roughshod over the one they already had, and we all know the particular brutality of the ‘missioning’ Spaniards who used every method possible to destroy the societal structures of the American peoples.
I think we may be reaping the fruit of a very bitter harvest today, for the birds of dishonor are coming back home to roost in our belfries and boardrooms and bedrooms, not to mention in our mirrors. We don’t like ourselves very much, I don’t think, as evidenced by all the effort we seem to go to to elevate ourselves (the basis for humanism as well as consumerism) or to escape ourselves (those addictions), which is likewise dishonor for our own creation, as well as our Creator.
Gratitude. To be grateful is to deliberately put yourself beneath – to SUBMIT to – something other than self in acknowledgment of the necessary vulnerability we all must have to access what we need from beyond us. I literally cannot receive food if I do not open my mouth, but gratitude is what opens my heart to heart food. I can starve in the land of plenty if I am not humble enough to say “thank you”; which, when you think about it, is a form of honor, too…
I think heaven is a place filled with honor to the highest degree. I don’t think earth resembles heaven very much right now, and basic disrespect and ingratitude lie at the bottom of the majority of it. Most sins are built upon fundamental disrespect and ingratitude, if you stop to think about that. I think I should stop thinking now. I might have one of David L. Craig’s headaches.
From my perspective, you are right on. It all begins with self honesty. Without the honesty, we are stuck. With honesty, openness and willingness to give up control and obey God, there is no limit to the freedom available to us. Thank you, Skip, for this bottom line word..
Straight to the heart
“Every time you feel whatever it is that bothers you, say, “God, You’re in charge of this and I thank You.””
This is my mantra with our finances. We never know from month-to-month what He will bring us, since my husband is self-employed, and it’s been pretty amazing (and also terrifying for someone like me who is addicted to control – something I’m slowly breaking) to see His faithfulness. And it’s also been a challenge to remember to thank Him even when things are scarier or more difficult that I’d like. But this is a surefire way of making me trust Him, reminding me that He is in charge, and allowing me to choose to thank Him.
Great post today, Skip! Thank you!
Gratitude. For everything and anything. For the reality and comfort of accepting God’s calling me out. Not always a pleasant place to be. But 30 years ago I finally surrendered. Many times I need to be reminded. Skip, thank you for sharing your heart and soul.
I needed this reminder. I will choose today to be grateful that my Father loves me enough to design a unique curriculum just for me that is necessary to bring me closer to Him. Life is good
Hello Skip and Others,
Disrespect, Ingratitude, selfish, self-centered, ungrateful are buzz words I have heard throughout my 60+ years of living to describe the childish, immature, addicted, lost personality types mostly by “persons of faith,” and may at times have done similarly. Craig, I like your prayer and focus on a program of learning given to you by G-d himself, our Savior and Creator. Thankfully in the past month, since asking your prayers, G-d has seen fit to make it near difficult for me to give into my addiction, and opportunities to “do something” different are coming along at the same time! That is a recovery key too, replace the addiction not with another, but something healthy and truly worthwhile! Thanks everyone!
David R
Psalms 9 was up this morning and in light of todays word it starts as, “mooth laban” which is often translated as “death of the son”. But,…….. laban means to be white, or pure so how about a death of purity, or in modern English, a pure death. It starts this way, “I WILL give thanks YHWH, with the whole of my heart I WILL tell of all your wonderful works”……..David goes on to say that in the turning backwards of his enemies, they stumble, and perish. Who’da thunk that thankfulness (to God) was so powerful a weapon to the destruction of the adversary.
As Skip said, as Paul said, as David said, God’s in charge, and He’s good, give thanks. It keeps your eyes bright.
YHWH bless you and keep you……
Thank you, robert, for such cleansing, purifying thoughts. More and more I see in His word that He IS in control of EVERYTHING, and that He wants to be, and that He can be, fully trusted.
” Father, I am so grateful for these new circumstances because in them you have adjusted my life to fit your plans. Thank you for giving me another opportunity to practice contentment and demonstrate my faithfulness to you.”
Being honest with yourself takes time to manifest itself because we’ve oftentimes lost the ability to recognize what it even looks like. My experience, however, has proven that honesty can still be found when we begin to position ourselves “beneath” God and not at His level. It’s a process that never seems to end but is worth all the work, tears, patience, and hope that we put forth.
Thank you Skip for all the work that you put forth…it has made a positive difference in my life.
Then perhaps imprecatory approaches to The Father are contraindicated for all such addicts.
Out of finite lives spring infinite fears. Time stares us in the face each moment of each day. We are so aware of time, that the natural human instinct is to change it; to modify time in some way as to make it more livable, perhaps more digestible. And so we attempt to seize the reins from God, to take control of our lives and our own time, ever aware of the ticking clock. It’s fine for God to do things in his own time, but our time is limited and there is much to be done. So we attempt to “tweek” time, sometimes by checking out by mind altering, cosmetic surgery and any number of mind numbing attempts to control time, our time. We want to live on our terms and we want to live forever. The fountain of youth, the Egyptian obsession with the afterlife, re-incarnation and of course, the Christian life eternal. I have often wondered what it is about us that thinks for one nano-second, that we should be any different then all organic life. We drift away from God with our time obsession; our time addiction. My skin is loosing it’s texture, my knee cartilage is worn thin in one knee and bone-on-bone in another, each day is a new ache or pain. Time is out of my control and time is all I really have. I can “melt down”, or embrace Albert Camus and state, “There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide” (the absurdity of life) or I can trust in God and his faithfulness, accepting each day as a gift, grateful for every smile given and received and utterly amazed and excited with this gift of life, no matter how long it lasts, no matter what comes after it all ends.
Thanks. 🙂 As a woman still feeling young in spite of the mirror saying otherwise. I am happy though to finally be in a place where I can be myself! And I’m still learning. So grateful to be in this space.
Suicide is a denial of reality and an endorsement of absurdity
Couldn’t agree more. Thanks for all you do, think and write.
I hope you know how important these devotions are Skip. To me, it’s a daily dose of a prophetic word the Father has chosen to speak to me. So thank you, for writing, am grateful for it.
Thank you for the TW. I don’t think most people see themselves as addicts especially when it comes to food. Some Christians seem to be proud of their obesity. I’ve seen them posturing. But I think the majority of them are pretty miserable. But those ‘drug’ addicts. That’s a different story! Horrible people. Sigh……
But addiction is not drugs or food or gambling, etc. Addiction is WHATEVER routine default mechanism I use to numb my emotions or protect myself from perceived threat. I feel anxious, so I buy a new pair of shoes. I feel lonely, so I spend 3 hours on Facebook. I feel afraid, so I go to a movie. I feel unworthy, so I play a video game. EVERYONE has these default mechanisms. The question is whether we are able to accept the emotions of life without the anesthetic and deal with life as it is. Drug addicts are NO DIFFERENT than those who play video games or go to the mall. Different choices for the same dysfunctional coping.
Skip would you then say that there is a difference in numbing and altering emotions? Do I numb or alter emotions when I do good or a mitzvah? When I decide to shift an emotion from the yerzer -hara to yetzer tov,do I numb or alter? When I do something good to someone else in order to feel better about myself, that is also addiction? Yet we are said to do and then listen no matter how we feel about it. It kind of reminds me of faith – it does not matter what you believe or how you feel about it- just do it? Still it alters my feel -good- about- myself emotions.( Many addicts in the Sunday morning congregation – where worship and my salvation is still all about how I feel.)
Would you then say that the numbing of a negative emotion is still addiction? for instance, studying to show myself worthy and feel better about myself?
And sometime emotions have to be numb as a survival mechanism. Rather the walking-dead than the… dead.
( TW is my emotion altering( not numbing) substance. (smiley))
Wow, lots of questions. And distinctions that maybe don’t apply in the same way. So, numbing emotions means I feel something I don’t want to feel (fear, rejection, unworthiness) and I do something to BLOCK that feeling. Brene Brown – I feel vulnerable so I eat and drink. The actions BLOCK how I feel by diverting the real emotion into some other action. Of course, the real emotion doesn’t go away. It just gets put on the shelf and wait for another opportunity to come forward.
When I “alter” an emotion, I assume you mean that I change how I feel by doing something that connects me to my true feeling through some positive act. So I feel a duty to the mitzvot, and when I perform them I have changed the emotion from “duty” to “satisfaction.” But nothing is blocked, nothing is put on the shelf in order NOT to feel it. And by the way, it does matter how I feel about doing the mitzvot in some cases. When I perform a mitzvah toward another, how I feel about it doesn’t matter (ultimately) because the action is still performed. But this is not true of mitzvot toward God. Then the MOTIVATION behind the act is quite important.
Finally, numbing “positive” emotions seems to me to be a misunderstanding of the idea. Why would I do that? If I am feeling connected, free, related and whole, there is no need and no motivation to block that feeling. That’s the feeling I long to have. Joy, peace, goodwill toward others, CONNECTION – these are things I desire that are not only good for me but are the essence of what it means to be fully human. Numbing these is like going on an emotional hunger strike. Nonsensical.
I read the piece, and wanted to comment on the factual and presumptuous errors, intending to propose in depth and integration of understanding.
Then I read the comments and … it probably does not matter!
Something CS Lewis wrote comes to mind: “In your presence, my genius is rebuked.”
Wait. If there are factual and presumptive errors, please tell me.
Am I being willfull? Addiction is?
I am not at all sure what you are asking?
If nothing else, my wife and I have endeavored to raise our children with a strong sense of gratitude. Thank you for for this post, Skip. It came precisely when I needed it, personally; I am grateful!
Drew
Wow this post and today’s – 3 Feb TW are powerful and so needed to be heard by me and a dear friend who is physically and emotionally sick and tired of her bondage….. So we appreciate your word Skip – letting ourselves feel the intensity of our longing of Abba and HIM alone!
Blessings on all of you – wonderful comments and insights!
I have just stopped weeping for the 19 year old policewoman who was stabbed along with her colleague just near where I’m staying here in Jerusalem and died this afternoon
Please pray for her family and friends and also the others who are wounded – her colleague in serious condition. Oh YHWH in your dealings with your people have mercy.
Please update me. The stabbings continue? What is happening?
Israeli authorities ordered a closure on the Palestinian village of Kabatia, just south of the West Bank city of Jenin, shortly after three of its residents carried out a terrorist attack in Jerusalem, claiming the life of a Border Policewoman and wounding another seriously.
The three Palestinians were shot dead immediately after the attack.
Jerusalem Post
The inconsistent outcome of violence – that result of an inner craving for affection.
Every time I read of how anger results in death, I think of the Astrix cartoon the invasion of Britain. When Astrix them wanted to fight during the British’ mid afternoon tea the English just continued drinking tea and told them that they are not gentlemen. I wonder what would happen when we witness this destructive human interaction and after it we invite the guilty parties for a cup of tea…
Then in the records of the Boer war in Africa we read of a time when the Boers started their morning with prayer parade as the British did on the other side of the mountain… When the spy informed the Boer general of this the general changed the prayer to something like “God, please stay out of this attack, as this war has nothing to do with you…”
Then during the first world war I heard of how a town’s inhabitants were saved when they fled to a church for refuge and the enemies commander mocked them and locked the doors to set the church on fire and on his way to the gate to give the instruction God sent a bee to sting him and he died before he could give the instruction – a peaceful prisoner of war camp was all the people had to endure…
Does the violence we experience on earth really have something to do with God’s will or is it more to do with our graving to belong… And our inability to find peace within ourselves so we destroy others attempt to find peace.
For all those that lost or loose loved ones as a result of violence… May God guide you to experience His radiant peace and appreciate that His peace has made abode within man and when we choose to set it free without our personal emotions and convictions blocking out the radiant light of peace and righteousness, God will save all concerned…
Thank you Skip for those practical words of advice. I have often puzzled about the phrase “Face your pain and work through it”. I wondered how do you do that exactly? Your reading is simplicity itself and has touched my heart?