A Personal Dungeon
“Bring my soul out of prison, so that I may give thanks to Your name; the righteous will surround me, for You will deal bountifully with me.” Psalm 142:7 NASB
Out of prison – What’s it like in there? What’s it like in the darkest recess of your “soul,” in the place where you keep your most terrifying secrets, where you feel the chains around your unworthiness. What’s it like in the prison you built around yourself in order to protect yourself from ridicule, humiliation, rejection and despair? Does it smell claustrophobic? Does it feel frightening? Do you know that in the center it is an empty escape?
David just wrote, “Deliver me from what pursues me” (verse 6). But as soon as he pens this verse, we know he can’t be writing about physical enemies. David feels the clammy walls of self-protection; smells the stench of his own fear; hears the echo of emptiness in his heart. His entire being, naphshiy, is entombed. There is a grave inside him, a place where the dead still reach into his outward life and grip him with cold, boney fingers. What David needs more than anything is to be brought out of the masger.
From the verb, sagar (to shut, to close), masger is the word for dungeon. This is not anything like the prison cells you and I see. This is a hole in the ground, a well of rejection, abuse, torture and absolute loneliness. This is living in your own waste, the cesspool of the soul. Any attempt to treat this word as if it is a modern jail cell is a serious mistake. All that is necessary to really understand the horror of captivity David describes is to look deep within, to really examine the deepest recess of your consciousness and feel what it’s like to be imprisoned there forever. Hell doesn’t need flames to torture me. All it needs is to shut me up to myself without any possible connection to anyone or anything. Hell is being totally alone with me forever.
I wonder if we can really appreciate God’s rescue if we have never descended into our own prison. What does salvation mean if it is only the guarantee of afterlife bliss? What am I saved from if I have never occupied solitary confinement within? It’s not easy to descend into the maelstrom of our egos, but it seems to be necessary if we are going to be brought into the light. No man can be set free unless he was first a captive.
Perhaps today you can follow David’s descent. Perhaps you already know the place he describes. Perhaps you can recall with joy the day you came out of the dark. Or perhaps you are still there, shivering, empty, afraid, alone. I am quite sure David was there. And I know he was rescued. What God does for one man He can do for another.
Do you want to give thanks to the One who rescued you? I do. But that means I will have to see where I really am and cry out for deliverance. I’m not climbing out of this place by myself.
Topical Index: prison, masger, Psalm 142:7
‘Shivering, empty, afraid and alone’ – in that dungeon again today, though I remember so clearly and with great joy the day – eight years ago exactly! – that He, with such mercy and such power, set me free… Many, many times since that day He has graciously rescued me yet again from the temptation to descend back into my familiar pit and my comfortable chains. And yet here I am again asking ‘when will life be anything but a battle to go on?’ ‘When will I ever be free from this demon of myself?’ The guilt feels overwhelming, since so great a salvation should be more than enough to sustain us… Thank you so much, Skip, for this message which somehow makes me feel that I am not quite so alone today.
In lovingkindness Jesus came
My soul in mercy to reclaim,
And from the depths of sin and shame
Through grace He lifted me.
From sinking sand He lifted me,
With tender hand He lifted me,
From shades of night to plains of light,
Oh, praise His Name, He lifted me!
He called me long before I heard,
Before my sinful heart was stirred,
But when I took Him at His word,
Forgiv’n He lifted me.
His brow was pierced with many a thorn,
His hands by cruel nails were torn,
When from my guilt and grief, forlorn,
In love He lifted me.
Now on a higher plane I dwell,
And with my soul I know ’tis well;
Yet how or why, I cannot tell,
He should have lifted me.
From sinking sand He lifted me,
With tender hand He lifted me,
From shades of night to plains of light,
Oh, praise His Name, He lifted me!
Amen ! So be it, thanks for sharing Carl
This is my story, this is my song: praising my Saviour, all the day long – its all about Him! Halleluah!
“I’m not climbing out of this place by myself”….no…I’m not … I’m certain of it …. in fact I know without a doubt I will not be able to do so…I’ve tried. I’ve tried for so long and I can only grasp and climb up the bare cliffs only so far…..and then I loose my tedious grip and crash again to the bottom of the pit. Where I sit and cry and bemoan and sink even further into myself.
Where is the opening now…I can’t see the light…I can’t imagine ever getting out of this bottomless, ravenous hole in the ground…that I dug myself. Well, maybe I had a little help – but I passed out the shovels.
See me Oh My Lord…see me…hear me …. help me….save me.
Hello, Carl I appreciate the verse you cited from hymnedy. Pam, well put, your descriptive of trying to escape the dungeon.
I too identified with Skip’s last sentence here! My dungeon has a lure that promises belonging and security but is a big fat lie! YHVH has goodness and mercy prevail by giving me the mental capacity to grasp that.
May we choose to serve Him today by our respective lifestyle. Thanks for this series on Psalm 142. I better understand what my opponent is! I pray we all have goodness and mercy pursue us and rejoice in the pardon from our past, freedom for our futures!
David R
Skip wrote: I wonder if we can really appreciate God’s rescue if we have never descended into our own prison.
I find this comment very interesting… I understand that it is only when we become nothing in our life that God can change us to be something in His cause… The creation unto His image and likeness.
The paradigm shift is back to zero. For the dungeons or pits of despair I would like to include our negative attitude to our life situation, that which makes us weak and ends in a desire to separate ourselves from life.
When the truth of our mental mindset dawns on us, God’s presence is made known. Jesus said the comforter or spirit of truth will be given us. How often does truth and honesty set us more free than support and promises from fellow humans – the latter is critical as it is here where God commands His blessings – when brethren live together…
This reminds me “Truth is no mans slave, but lies what magnificent servants they make…”
May the truth of God’s will in what ever situation we find ourselves be the light that directs us to see His outstretched hand to pull us out and place our feet on firm ground the foundation of Apostle and Prophet of which Jesus is the cornerstone and strength.