Leaving It Alone
saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.” Luke 22:42 NASB
But – Sitting in the restaurant bar waiting for a table. Enjoying the conversation with another couple. Suddenly the man gets up, goes to the wall and adjusts a picture that isn’t perfectly straight. “I just couldn’t take it any longer,” he said, returning to his seat. “Things have to be right.”
Is emotional health the ability to let things be as they are without being compelled to fix them? Are you a “fixer” or do you resonate with the Beatles, “Let It Be”? What about Yeshua’s compassion? Wasn’t he compelled to do something? He wept over Jerusalem. He intervened with the widow of Nan. He healed. He forgave. Isn’t that “fixing” things?
Yes, it certainly is. But it wasn’t about fixing his things. His emotional involvement was on behalf of others. When it came to what was happening to him, he let the Father’s will prevail. He “let it be.”
We might wonder why he was so involved in the lives of others and yet seemed so uninvolved in the conditions and circumstances of his own life. The answer is trust. Yeshua understood both rationally and emotionally that his life was in the hands of the Father, directly by the Father’s purposes. He was not the captain of his destiny or the master of his fate. He trusted that YHVH knew best. If fact, only once, at this moment in the Garden, did he ever question the assignment given to him. And even in this instance trust saturates the inquiry. Actively engaged in fixing the evils and woes of this world for others does not mean I am called to do the same thing for myself. Emotional health requires the exercise of compassion. I am expected to love my neighbor. But when it comes to loving myself, I surrender my “fixing” fixation to the Father. Compassion is an external operation. Trust is an internal commitment.
What I notice is that I don’t do a very good job of taking care of myself emotionally. My solutions tend to take me away from the real world. I prefer emotional medication instead of trusting confrontation. I don’t like the feelings that happen in my Garden so instead of hearing the voice of my Father, I tell myself that I need some kind of escape. Some relief. Some temporary Band-Aid over these emotional wounds. But what I discover is that my empathetic vacation is pathetic renovation. I end up where I started. The wound is not healed. But now the path is darker, harder, less joyful. I forgot the word “but.” I forgot that trust is always conditional, that is, it depends on my conditional acceptance. Sometimes the only way to move forward is to let it be.
Topical Index: emotional wounds, trust, fixing, Luke 22:42
Amen. Teach me to look away from “self” and rely on You, Father!
I needed this. I have been stuck here a while. Thank you.
The hardest part about switching gears from goodness (love application, or, righteousness) that is ‘generated’ by me to the Spirit’s love that flows THROUGH me seems to lie in the motivation. There’s that will part. My will – or His? My definition of goodness – or His? My application – or His Spirit through me? What (what source) am I being motivated by?
I have to surrender my efforts first. They have to be remade and transformed before they are a fit vehicle for His will, His Way. I am not big enough for the Spirit of Yeshua (righteousness by faith in His righteousness) to fit. My will exists to make the decision for His will to have everything in me to do with whatever He decides. I have to lay it down before He will pick it up. All of it. Why? My motivation (source of power) is polluted by self; but, then, there was never any such thing as my will being a power source in the first place. That is an illusion. Even Yeshua, in the garden, had to consciously choose to lay His human will down, for He saw that it lacked the power to accomplish love in that place.
I think the addictions and the bad habits we employ exist to mask the places where we know we are failing at love, but still have not made the decision to lay our own will down, and let Him rule. We still want it ‘our way’, even when we realize that our way is not working. Addictions – altered states of reality – gloss over those blank spaces where love should be, but where the motives (wills) have still not been traded for. Addictions are the manhole covers over the sewer of My Way.
I woke up this morning thinking about the Garden, and the knowledge of good and evil. The sinless pair had no resistance to the will of God pouring through them to will and to do of His good pleasure. His pleasure was theirs, but they had no way to know of either one. That was the innocence. The knowledge (experience) of good and evil, to me, means that I am conscious of both sources of motivation (power): my will, and His. Am I setting out to ‘do good’ (love) my way, or His? Now, because of their choice, I have to consciously decide in any given moment which source it is going to be: my motives, or His? Good, done my way, is evil. Good, done my way, is going to always be for the wrong reasons, in the wrong timing, with the wrong love muscles, in the wrong way. I can want it to be ‘good’, all day long, but the application (actual action, or, experience (“knowledge”) is going to end up being evil. Why? Saul set out to do sacrifice when Samuel got delayed. Same sacrifice, same God; but he lost the kingship. “Sparks of my own kindling” will always be “strange fire”. How to lay my will down – not the will to do evil, but the will to do good, mind you – and let His: this, Shakespeare, is the real question.
“My will exists to make the decision for His will to have everything in me to do with whatever He decides.”
“Even Yeshua, in the garden, had to consciously choose to lay His human will down, for He saw that it lacked the power to accomplish love in that place.”
These statements reminded me of the “free will” of humans in the garden of delight, and then also in the garden of the oil press. In the first, the free will was “hijacked” (for lack of a better term) by deceit, and in the second, it was returned to its rightful position, by One whose teachings always pointed to the Creator’s words (Truth).
Laurita, as usual, your words speak volumes to me, and I am grateful for your willingness to share in our community.
Seriously…..seriously? Surely you must have a private window into my life!! How on earth do you come up with these words that fit so perfectly and insanely into the very fabric of my tattered life?
Yes…it’s true…I woke up this morning muttering and pondering over what to do about something that someone ‘said’ to me yesterday that started to tear at the emotional scar that was still healing. Sigh…. and here we are … back at the beginning … again. How do I ‘fix’ this? How do I ‘defend’ myself? and then I open my mail…. and there it is.
Your word today Skip has separated that flimsy veil that constantly seems to float precariously between the ‘what to do’ list I clutch so tightly and the ‘let it be’ wish list. While I was not a Beatles fan (Elvis was my choice :->) … the words to ‘let it be’ ring in my ears….and yes…the clarity of the choice is now apparent.
>MY< problem…..should be a 'let it be' chorus, and I will sing that until it becomes the fabric of my life. If something rips at my heart, threatens to tear open a wound or brings my heart to a standstill…I will know that this is where I need 'more trust'… and begin singing "let it be". That's a visual I can use …
As for having compassion for others and their situation? … that I am fully capable of doing – listening, praying, just being there, helping them see His way (from His word) – and now…I can share these wise words on to them, that sometimes one has to 'let it be'.
Learning how to have compassion for others while trying not to 'fix' it to help myself….well, that is where the chorus needs to ring loud … let it be.
Shalom Pam, I can relate with your post. I ended an email just the day before this TW with that – Let it be!
Some things are beyond us to fix anyway. And though those events tear at me, I won’t let it distraught me.
Blessings!
Watchman Nee, the noted Chinese author, relates a fable about looking
at ourselves rather than at the light of God.
A frog asks a centipede how he walks with so many feet. Which of your hundred
feet do you move first? So internally confounded by the question, he found that
he could not take even that first step. No matter how he tried he could not make
the first move. Suddenly the brightness of the sunlight broke through a cloud
and the centipede’s heart was so enthralled he just ran after the light. The moment
his concern over the order of his footwork was gone. he moved forward with no
thought or effort.
Reminds me of Paul’s inspired thoughts . . .”the eyes of your understanding being
enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches
of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness
of His power toward us who believe . . .”
Lord, help me keep my eyes focused on You. One step at a time.
As Christians, we really need to know, “let it be” is another way of saying, “Amen.” Not my will, (not what I want), but Thy will, (what is your desire? – what would please You?) be done. “Let it be.” “May it be so.” “May it come to pass.” Amen.
This, btw, is not easy to do, either for a man or a woman. But, it is not “struggle,” but “surrender” that God is looking for. God will not leave a surrendered (emptied) vessel empty! We must also learn, “surrender” is not a one-time event in the life of a believer. Paul said, “I die daily.” So must we. (Amen!)
Our Savior said, “Follow me.” Do, as I do. And that includes our surrender to the will (the good pleasure) of our Heavenly Father.
I suppose the next question might be, “But how do I know what the will of the Father is?” Lol. The will of God for each of us is fully revealed in the word of God. Let’s start by obeying the “parts” of God’s word we do understand. Maybe the “Thou shalt nots” would be a good place to start. But lest we forget, the Scriptures (God’s love letter to His children) are also chock full of “Thou shalts!” These btw, are found not only in the Old Covenant scriptures, but in the New(er) as well! Think of these as a Father instructing His son. His son or His daughter who He loves dearly.
When God (our Father) says “don’t” – He is saying “don’t hurt yourself!” And when He says “do” He is saying, “help yourself to happiness!”
We will then find ourselves saying, “I delight to do Your will, O God my Father!” And it pleases me to please You. (Amen!)
Thank you for your authentic emotional generosity!
In a recent study on ” Emett” Dr. Miriam Adahan, book, and thoughts in (emotional maturity through Torah) or MUSSAR middot principles one of the amazing things that stood out to me , was a comment from the sages , the investment of mastering one negative character trait meaning, mastering the negative narrative, responses, our brain called the baby brain that wants what it wants when it wants it now. screams louder at times than others in discomfort or intolerance, change, pain and emotional upsets.
possible the ( yetzer tov / hora, or how I see things from my own perspective being right ayin tov, ayin hora a good or bad eye, the prideful youth teen part of our development selfish.) sages say it is easier to recite the entire Talmud , than change one negative character trait, and requires approximately, Ten thousand hours of investment to change one negative trait to be mastered or taught.
Some studies show a large percent of the time, 86 to 90 percent of our initial emotional responses are negative or selfish and have to be censored, matured, cultivated , and acknowledged to start change ,some with prayer changes easier than others, some negative trait’s depending on the depth, erosion , assessment of the damage , the length we have practiced them may require deep and sometimes painful child bearing contractions before life is in sight during the cultivation process, to mastered negative narrative , while in distress, discomfort, confrontation, we can have restraint and remain in love kindness, wisdom, and stay or come back to relationship even in indifference. maybe in Galatians putting off these things requires more attention,
Thank you ..
Confrontation of sorts resolves issues if both parties are willing to come face to face desiring to heal wounds, seeking to walk in truthfulness, rather than slandering and stabbing behind backs. Those who would not are probably the guilty party. Then we can say- Leave it alone, let it be, trusting in ABBA to deal with it, before we stand to give account to Him.
Hahaa, this TW speaks about me. Just like that guy, I dislike pictures out of alignment, nor, stuff not in their proper places. My father-in-law once said, she’s a perfectionist! These days, I am more at ease.