Unconscious
Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.” Genesis 28:16 NASB
I did not know it – lo yada’etti. But how could he not know? Isn’t God everywhere? How could Jacob think for a moment that God wasn’t in the place where he slept on that fateful night?
Jacob probably was just as much aware as we are. When was the last time you said to yourself, “Oh, of course, God is right here with me in this place.” No, probably you didn’t even think about it. You just went on with whatever you were doing, for good or evil, without even considering the fact that God was there too. Moses Luzzatto captures our unconscious idolatry. “When a man is convinced that, wherever he is, he always stands in the presence of God, blessed be He, he is spontaneously imbued with fear lest he do anything wrong, and so detract from the exalted glory of God.” “As reflection is a means to the cultivation of unswerving fear of God, so are thoughtlessness and inattention, . . . the greatest hindrances to it.”[1] In other words, if we actually thought about it, we would realize that God is present always and everywhere, and this would cause us to act very differently. But the truth is that we don’t think about it. We live unconsciously. We grope about in a spiritual stupor. We make ourselves numb to the divine presence and pretend that God either isn’t watching or doesn’t care. Like Jacob, after the fact, we are struck with the revelation, “God was in this place and I didn’t know it.”
Oswald Chambers’ insight helps us realize the carelessness of our stupor. “God holds us accountable for what we do not see. . . The unfathomable sadness of the ‘might have been!’ God never opens doors that have been closed. He opens other doors, but He reminds us that there were doors which we have shut, doors which need never have been shut, imaginations which need never have been sullied.”[2] Chambers concludes that God confronts us with the past, not to punish us but to remind us of those times when we were blind to His presence, when we failed to remember that He is Sovereign everywhere. Sometimes remembering the door that we shut because we were blind is a very painful experience. Relationships lost. Loved ones estranged. Opportunities of service squandered. Loneliness. Despair. “How can I ever regain what I lost?” we ask Him. And we weep. There is no going back. The door was shut. We were as blind as Balaam. And now we have only the sorrow of knowing we were deliberately blind.
God restores. That does not mean He erases. Despite the terror of knowing we could have gone another way, it is knowing this that becomes a part of our journey in a different direction. Nothing is wasted, even what we threw away. But it still hurts.
Topical Index: omnipresence, sovereignty, Genesis 28:16, sorrow
[1] Moses Luzzatto, Mesillat Yesharim, p. 265.
[2] Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, April 3.
This one was really good for me, Skip! You write the story of my life.
Fear. I get my pick of fear of God or fear of everything else. Fear shows me the places where I am in idolatry. I have learned to repent for putting anything ahead of trusting Him. That takes care of the fear!
Sorrow is the story of my life. Sorrow is the front side of restoration: sorrow digs the foundation for that restoration. Repentance for yesterday reopens my hand and my heart to the Presence for today. Repentance provides pretty much the constant correction of my direction, in fact.
It is so true that I do not get what I lost yesterday, but the restoration of the years the locusts stole, I am convinced, has to do with the restoration of relationships. There have been total miracles in my life.
I have also found that perhaps the best thing to do with that severe learning curve I am on is to broadcast it far and wide. “Don’t do what I did! Do what I didn’t do!” And so I write Ecclesiastes.
I didn’t just close doors.
I tried to run through them after they were shut!
Doors are obviously God’s proving ground passageways,
painful as the may be. And then, there’s THAT door:
“See, I have set before you an open door, and no one
can shut it”
Thank you, Lord, for letting me see that open door!
Hi Skip and others,
Wow, this is a timely reflection for me and others too.
Yesterday afternoon, I closed the door on a relationship that would have been destructive had it been pursued further. I told the person the issue was myself and my belief in God, and life is not compartmentalized for me. In other words – the Scripture, “You have been bought with a price” came to my conscious mind and instructed me to terminate any possibility of wrongful behavior. It was difficult to do!
Now, there is the sorrow; this person and I will likely no longer share empathy, small talk, common interest in sports, family, etc. It all started because I did not pretend God was not around or aware, but rather, I excused God from being present, and wanted to fill a painful void. He leadeth me is a blessed thought, but one I tend to humanly shun from time to time.
I heed your words well today.
We make ourselves numb to the divine presence and pretend that God either isn’t watching or doesn’t care. Like Jacob, after the fact, we are struck with the revelation, “God was in this place and I didn’t know it.”
-Thankfully, that old 1960s song advisement fits well, “We’ve got to get out of this place, if it’s the last thing we ever do.” Addiction is a hell unto itself!
David R
“As reflection is a means to the cultivation of unswerving fear of God, so are thoughtlessness and inattention, . . . the greatest hindrances to it.”
Reflection is an amazing tool that leads us to turn around from the wrong, or mistakes we have made/done, more so upon being corrected by another, having our wrongs pointed out, to make up for that blindness/repent, to walk in fear of the Almighty God. That is a great blessing to sought after.
“Thoughtlessness and inattention”, is care-lessness reflecting the absence of Him in our lives, our environments, thus revealing the condition of our spirituality.
Thankful we have the sorrow of knowing we WERE blind, to appreciate the journey we are now on.
Skip thank you, a nice reminder hour unconsciously we “consciously” live. The word has not yet taken on flesh and need to remain in Jerusalem till this happens…
Well that’s the truth, just finished the 30’days and am walking more firmly in the realms of wonder. Thanks Skip your helping further clear the fog a bit more. We so easily forget the kingdom of YAHWEH and the kingdom of this present world system are simultaneously coexisting but mutually exclusive. Thanks for the reminder…