The Excuse

The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.”   Genesis 3:12 NASB

Gave – In a recent conversation a very intelligent woman raised an objection to the trajectory of my book, Guardian Angel. She claimed that the fact that God gave the woman to Adam in Genesis 2 was the primary theological basis for recognizing giving away the bride in contemporary weddings ceremonies. I argued that the text of Genesis 2:24 says nothing about the actions of the woman. It only requires the man to break bonds with his parents and “glue” himself to his wife. She argued that because God’s action comes first, we can assume that the woman already understood the necessity of giving herself to the man. According to this view, the woman is equally responsible despite the absence of any explicit direction in the text.

But further examination may suggest something else. Let’s look at the verse where God “gives” the newly-formed woman to Adam. The verb in that sentence (Genesis 2:22) is not the Hebrew verb for “give” but rather the verb for “go, arrive, enter, go out” and even metaphorically, “have sexual relations.” It is the verb bo’, used more than 2000 times in the Tanakh. While we might interpret God’s action as giving, the text says only that He caused to go out (that is, “brought”) the woman to the man. It says nothing about gifting the woman to the man. I would argue that such an interpretation of the action is out of character with the rest of the story, particularly with the formation of the woman as a separate identity, voluntarily connected but not compelled, with the full dignity of a freely-choosing agent. To suppose that God gave her is to imply, as all pagan cultures do, that she was an object of trade, a possession, a commodity. None of these are biblical ideas. According to the biblical text, the woman is equally valuable and equally independent. The secret is voluntary commitment, not a transfer of a deed.

We might examine one other place to bolster this argument. Adam complains to God after his disobedience that it is the woman’s fault. He specifically says, “The woman whom you gave to be with me.” Here is the proper verb “to give” (natan), but examine the context. Adam is using the idea of gift as an excuse to avoid responsibility. Adam is claiming that God’s gift was improperly made and therefore caused his disobedience. This is like claiming that the manufacturer of the vehicle made it with faulty brakes and that was the reason for the crash. Do we accept Adam’s argument as valid? Of course not! The woman was not a mere tool, a piece of property. Like Adam, she was a freely-acting agent. Adam’s acceptance of her voluntary offer of the fruit of the tree was not forced compulsion but rather equal decision. That means she was not viewed (by God, at least) as a mere extension of Adam. Adam’s use of natan is an attempt to shift blame, not to accurately record of the status of the woman brought to him.

Why does this matter? First, it matters that we understand the text properly. But that is merely an academic exercise. The real consequence is how we view the roles of husband and wife. Guardian Angel argues that the Hebrew view empowers women to act as physical representatives of God’s will in the marriage. Guardian Angel argues from the text that there are clues showing us the God created the woman with a special relationship with Him in order to fulfill this role, a role that is essentially a blessing to the man. Guardian Angel argues that there are no matrimonial instructions for the woman because she is inherently designed to respond to a fully committed undying love. It is the man who shoulders the responsibility of creating that environment of trust. She is ready when he is willing.

Topical Index: Adam, woman, gave, brought, marriage, Genesis 2:22, Genesis 3:12