Rethinking the Family
“Look to Abraham your father and to Sarah who gave birth to you in pain; when he was but one I called him, then I blessed him and multiplied him.” Isaiah 51:2 NASB
Father – “Since Israel was one of the Semitic nomadic peoples, her social life was more closely knit together than that of the city culture of the ancient Near East. The dominant factors in her social structure were the tribe and the clan rather than the village, the city, and the district. As among Bedouins, a well-rounded life was thought to be possible only within the fellowship of the tribe.”[1] As a result, the father had “almost unlimited authority” in a “psychic community.” Identity occurred through relationship with the father. Without this connection, an individual’s self-awareness and self-esteem were erased.
When we think of God as our father, we should view the relationship in the same way that ancient Israel, a tribe, viewed Him, that is, as the sole authority, progenitor and final identity of all who are called by His name. To be cut off from the tribe was the equivalent of death. No wonder Cain complains that banishment will mean extermination. It’s not so much physical harm that concerns him. It is the removal of his identity as a person.
Unfortunately, we don’t think like this anymore. Today we find identity in social strata, occupations, ethnic groups, or political affiliations. We are members of a particular alumni association or fans of a particular team. We identify ourselves by geography or nationality. We rarely, if ever, think in terms of tribe and clan. As a result, our concept of “father” has become diluted to the point that the word means only the one who begat us (and we rarely use that term). The biblical connection has been lost. Under these circumstances, it is particularly difficult to understand God as father. In addition, many of us grew up in households without strong father figures (or even no father at home). We were cast adrift just as if we had been banished from an ancient tribe. Is it any wonder that we suffer from deep misunderstandings about God as father?
Jonathan Sack’s book[2], David Fohrman’s book[3] and my book[4] all deal with recapturing the idea of God as father. If you read them all, you discover something quite remarkable: God uses a pagan ruler to reinstate lost tribal and personal identity. Apparently the problem of misunderstanding God as father is a very old one. It has plagued humanity since the beginning. Do you suppose that we need to reread the Garden episode in the Father’s terms? And maybe, just maybe, Yeshua came to show us the Father rather than give us a new religion.
Topical Index: father, ‘ab, Isaiah 51:2
[1] Ringgren, TDOT, Vol. 1, p. 8.
[2] Not in God’s Name
[3] The Exodus You Almost Passed Over
[4] Crossing: The Struggle for Identity
This is a great TW for all men among us that are fathers too… It has so much to think about, not only for ourselves on our relationship with HaShem, but also on our relationship with our kids too… Thanks Skip.
Father is used any number of times in the bible. No matter who is speaking about whom in the bible, the use of father as God is ALWAYS a metaphor, it is the only way we can view our creator. Would Yeshua use it any differently?
In Yeshua’s case, I don’t think it is a metaphor. Adam was A son of God, Yeshua was THE son of God. Adam was CREATED from the soil, (soulish), Yeshua was BEGOTTON directly from the Father, meaning of the same spiritual essence, not dirt. I am thinking this pertains to His existence as the Word even before He was born on the Earth. Then later He surrendered that vaulted position to become the second Adam.
1Co 15:45 And so it is written, “The first man, Adam, became a living soul,” the last Adam was a life-giving Spirit . . . 47: The first man was out of earth, earthy; the second Man was the Lord from Heaven.
Why did Yeshua have to die? The answer is simple; because He was human. They all die. The bigger question is, why did He become human? Paul wrote that there is a certain process that must happen in order,
1Co 15:46 But not the spiritual first, but the natural; afterward the spiritual.
Am I contradicting myself in regards to Yeshua? Sort of but Yeshua was unique. First He was spiritual, then He became flesh, then, at the resurrection, He became spiritual again to make it possible for us to be begotten sons. As born through Adam we die, but most importantly, we plant our seed. Then we are born again but this time like Christ, in spirit and through His spirit.
Your last paragraph, “Am I contradicting myself . . .” ends up being pretty gnostic. Spiritual being becomes flesh returns to spiritual being. Even Trinitarians rejected this. Take a look at Chandler’s book for a full run down on the gnostic influence in the early Church.
Being that Trinitarians and Monotheist can’t convince the other (or me) of their position being the only correct one, maybe both are wrong and I should be on the lookout for a third option. This is an attempt at it. I’m not here to win but to explore options, but while honestly trying to stay within the text and offering to sacrifice my paradigms.
(Will be reading the book soon. Thanks)
Well, Dan, I feel lonely sometimes, but you put a finger on my loneliness; I find myself in the same boat, for much of the same reasons. Neither side has convinced me, and not least is that they have gone about their apologia in such human ways. I keep hoping that I can see more positive statements; where people show that their beliefs make Scripture, or their worldview, or even what they see when they open their eyes in the morning, clearer. I would think that once you have been convinced of something, it would produce more and better ways to illuminate everything else.
Because I find myself in your boat, I will rock with you a little. I don’t think the spirit and the flesh EVER exist in the same dimension, so therefore they never are exclusive; in other words, you don’t morph somehow from one into the other. I think they can exist concurrently, as that is what I see in my own life.
I can see that, in order for free will to have a real choice, Yeshua would necessarily have been limited to only what we have access to as our Representative and as our Example; i.e. flesh/spirit created creature, albeit with full access to the Father heretofore unachievable.. The trinity side can explain this as He pre-existed in Spirit, then morphed into flesh, then miraculously combined the two. The one-ity side can use this exclusive have-to-be- one-or-the-other God-or-human, take your pick, but I see the fighting rift occurs roughly over whether He was a volunteer or a conscript.
If He volunteered, then He would have been in control of the whole process, including what He left in His Father’s keeping. If He was conscripted, then He sure had a lot to figure out right out of the bag, including just Who His Father was. What I see both sides squirming over, though, is the thought that God can figure out how to limit Himself, leaving Him less-than-what-WE-think God ‘must’ be, either by anointed delegation or by sheer genetics; even divine ones. Its just easier to say that humans can attain divinity. I see both sides doing this, in effect (if not in claim) even though their methods differ.
A word of comfort Laurita
Did Yeshau not ask were are all the rest when he explained that his calling is not about joining but about being an example helping others find saving measures for their lives… The he said only the twelve remain which he personally called and even one of them would betray him. Be part of the twelve I trust an hope I will not be the one that betrays… Then again even Simon Peter did before he found true faith in Yeshau words….
It may be worth your while to read the book The All Inclusive Christ by Witness Lee…
As we became more and more disenchanted with the monolithic Catholic church over the years but wanted “somewhere” to go, the quest began. On the other side of the fence were 40,000+ Protestant alternatives. Whew! That didn’t look very encouraging and when I looked at creedal denominational Christianity itself amongst other things I was very discouraged by it, in particular with the irrationality of the Trinity which no one could fully postulate or explain. Really? Why?
Enter the extremely contentious Councils of Nicaea stage left chaired by Constantine, and later Ephesus (431) and Chalcedon (451 CE) held by Theodosius I and II (378 & 438 CE) and Justinian (530 CE) who killed many tens of thousands of Roman citizens, with the objective of one state religion and a rousing chorus of “who cares what they believe, Trinity or death.”
The Theodosius Code (381 CE) reads: “We shall believe in the single deity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost under the concept of equal majesty and of the Holy Trinity. We command that persons who follow this rule shall embrace the name of catholic Christians. The rest however, whom we judge demented and insane, shall carry the infamy of heretical dogmas. Their meeting places shall not receive the name of churches, and they shall be smitten first by Divine Vengeance, and secondly by the retribution of hostility which We shall assume in accordance with Divine Judgement.”
So, shut up, Trinity or death, Christian or Jew, and there were many, many of both. Hmmm. Just what I was looking for? I don’t think so. Messiah yes, doctrine no.
Thanks for being a soft place to land and call “home” Skip. Just what we needed.
I am with you Daniel. Let’s me think of John 3 response to Nicodemus…
This TW tripped one of my triggers. Leonard Cohen sings in First We Take Manhattan “when it’s Father’s Day everyone is wounded”. Psychiatry recognizes what it calls “trust issues” most often originate in “father issues”. We are hardwired to father, it seems. Our God-paradigm gets built on the structure of our relationship with our bio father, too, which leaves a whole bunch of us singing in Cohen’s choir, unfortunately. It appears that when the good stuff, like father relationship, goes bad, it ends up as bad as it was designed to be good. This leaves so many of us wrestling with the Biblical concept of God as Father that entire translations have attempted to get around the issue to keep from triggering father-allergies! Patristic societies and cultures have reaped a huge bad rap for themselves by men wresting the divine design to their own interests – starting in the Garden – as Skip points out in Guardian Angel.. This is one loaded topic!
It has always interested me that Yeshua came to show us the Father as a Son – not as the Father Himself. I have wondered at the significance behind the parable of the vineyard where the evil servants kill the son to circumvent the father’s delegation. This was a strike against the father, using the son. I have thought the largest part of our fear of our heavenly Father must have to do with impaired relations with our earthly ones. We love to relate to the Son, but we feel the Father to be distant and scary. There are large things here far beyond my wonderment, for sure.
I found it impossible to fully heal my relations with heaven until I dealt with my father issues. I had to face the wounds and the healing, too. It was hard to crawl back through that culvert and accept the Father’s love as it was offered, and as I still needed it. I needed to hear “I love you; I am proud of you; I am glad you were born”. We can only get down to the business of heaven on the other side of the father thing, really. If we don’t, we will miss everything the Son came to show us. I spent time with Father’s Love ministries; time building a space my earthly father may never be able to fill, but necessary, nevertheless, and honoring my need for father. In our psyches this is the space, apparently, God intended to fill. Most, of us, I have decided, need ministry in this place!
Laurita I hear you remind us that we all build space for God to live in where He actually calls us to live in His space. How we so easily limit and restrict the one entity we want to be part of. Is it fear, misunderstanding or just arrogance that makes us do that…
You make a good point, Seeker. Our ‘Daddy’ space is too small for Him, but we still have to do the work to put Him there as a start to relationship. If I avoid my hardwired flesh need for father (because of pain, ignorance, etc.) I will find myself avoiding essential parts of where I am at as child with my heavenly Abba. I will get stuck in some ethereal space unrelated to who I really am, or I will gravitate to His other aspects, such as His Son, or His Spirit. This, by the way, I have seen is HUGE with daddy-damaged precious people I work with who, to a (wo)man, have a problem with God as Father. Theory is one thing; application starting from experience is another!
Have a wonderful Shabbat.
so true…the damage is deep, and, unless we change and become as little children, we cannot enter into the Kingdom Matt. 18:3. I have worked with female truama survivors and have my own story of addiction, abuse and a daddy sized hole in my soul. After years of being in and out of therapy, reading a library full of books, obtaining degrees, credentials, etc…still a yearning and a distrust of the Father remained…coming to Torah and walking out His ways, He has been revealing Himself to me, His love and His faithfulness…my relationship with my earthly father has been strangely healing as I walk with the Father…Guardian Angel was another piece of the puzzle for me…so happy to be on this journey of recovering the image of the Messiah in me…shalom
When I look at churches I constantly have this phrase in my mind: “The forgotten Father”. Many churches preach a social gospel where God is mentioned but is not that important. Other emphasize the need to have Jesus at the center. But what about Father? Many are afraid of Him or have no idea how to relate to Him. And yet, as you write Skip, Yeshua came to show us the Father. He always pointed to Him, told us to pray to Him, etc. In our theological discussions it’s easy to get lost, especially as we realize how much we have steered off the course of Torah and God’s revealed will, and loose the joy and security in our relationship with Him. At least that has happened to me several times. The only thing that can keep me sane while my brain and faith (and obviously therefore my actions and lifestyle) are going through major overhaul is the Father’s embrace and Him telling me, “I am here.”
I could not agree more with you. In so many churches it seems to be “all about Jesus” when of course the Father is the ultimate Savior, the one who set the plan of salvation into motion and who completes it.
And…the Father is the Light of the world as Hanukkah reminds us. If anyone is interested in getting a better understanding of what appears to be a simple story but is a whole lot more, I highly recommend listening to Rabbi Jacob Rosenberg’s sermon from this past Saturday (Dec. 16th) on Hanukkah, at Adat Hatikvah. He starts by explaining the political chaos hundreds of years before, then points out the significance (and similarities) of our world today, tying in the Pharisees, Saducees, why the story of Joseph is read at this time, the Babylonian captivity and more. He also explains the prophecy and reality of Yeshua from then until now, focusing on the book of John (probably the most Jewish book in the NT.) Hanukkah says something about WHO our God is. To listen, go to AdatHatikah(dot org), from the home page, click on “Sermons.” Then click on the Dec. 16th sermon, “Hanukkah: Light of the World. I’ve been celebrating Hanukkah for about 10 years now, but, after this sermon, my understanding has grown exponentially.
Skip, I think of the Holy Spirit in me as my Father’s spirit in me. My Father guides me each day as Jesus was guided by His Father. I constantly am reminded Jesus words to Mary at the Tomb: I go to My Father, your Father; I go to My God, your God! AMEN
The issue of Father-ship was also explained by Yeshua the Pharisees etc have father Abraham while he had God as Father… Making a clear difference of origin of leadership.
For me the Father-ship is about upon whose version our faith is formed. All before Yeshau followed faith formed on other people’s convictions or experience. After Yeshau it was being called by God.. Very different and very selective our choice is to respond not to grow in faith…. Who called Abraham? This is what it is about being called or lured by who?
Mark Parry mentioned a book from an author on a previous block which I did not find. But the search got me another interesting book… The All Inclusive Christ by Witness Lee written in 1969. He highlights the idea that all these changes point to Yeshau and how the biblical language confirms these possibilities by reiterating specific things. Christ light, word light and enlightened understanding. Just a small glimpse at the truth.
On God the same we are seeing only glimpses of his possible reality until the time He tasks then the things happen as recorded in scripture…
The idea is protecting the father or teacher or forerunner until the next source or growth is intended. The book may be Christian based and gnostic but may guide our thoughts on this topic.
Thanks for the earlier reference Mark.
There is not one of us whose life has not been touched many times somewhere by a father. It may be in the absence of one or in the abuse by one or by the love of a good father. These many touches leave indelible marks of good impressions, loving memories or horrible scars… often all three. The old adage: “You can choose your friends, but not your family” is (often painfully) true. I know that I wouldn’t have picked the dad I got in a million years (and I suspect my 8 children might echo the same thought and my father’s choice wouldn’t have been for a lost, broken, rebellious son) but I must trust our wise Heavenly Father and understand that His choice of my earthly father was the best choice for me (and him and them). That idea is something I can either reckon with or wreck upon. In the past I have wrecked more than reckoned, but I am now beginning to suspect that in the place where there is the most pain is the place where the most gain can occur. So I will (will I ?) run, no longer away, but toward the pain, the dark, the loss in the presence of the
light, love and power of The Father who does loves me, knows me and loves me still. A father who truly does know best, is best and loves best. A father of my tribe, including my elder brother Yeshua, as well as other brothers and sisters…
including my earthly father, mother, sisters and the children and grandchildren chosen by Him for me, of me, through me. (RIP Stanislaus – obm).
This resonated with me because I grew up without a father and have always longed for the relationship, connection, bonding, love, identity, etc. I’m 58 and my soul still aches. Needless to say it has been difficult understanding God as Father (even after walking with Him 35 years), and the terms “cast adrift” and “self-esteem were erased” are not unfamiliar. The picture you painted of the tribe/clan background is one I think will stick with me. Thanks!
Skip, I think you’re on to something here. Plan and to the point. WELL DONE!!
It is my opinion (yes, I said that), based on current statistics and simple observation, that today there are few social needs greater than relationships with fathers. Our culture is being ripped apart by this huge lack in our midst. It is increasing with each generation, even among “believers.” My impulse is to reach out and “heal” those I love, but alas, not being a father or male, I have not the capability to do so.
And, on a similar note, I’m hearing “tribe” used a lot now in social media circles, inviting us, perhaps, to choose a leader (not Yah) or a group (not His) to fill the void we feel but do not understand.