Fatal Assumptions
Now the man called his wife’s name [h]Eve, because she was the mother of all the living. Genesis 3:20 NASB
Eve – If you’ve read Guardian Angel, you know that Adam did not call his wife Eve. The name he used was Havvah, and it does not mean “mother of all living.” According to the research, this name is derived from another language source (which explains why the narrator has to tell us what it means) and it really means “serpent.” Go look for yourself (or read my book if you haven’t already).
As a result of Adam’s naming, some tragically radical assumptions occurred about human relationships. We might catalog some of them like this:
- The Bible teaches the women have a less important role in the Church and the home.
- Sex is all that men really want.
- Marriage means that we agree with each other. If my spouse and I disagree, one of us must be wrong.
- Someone has to be in charge if decisions are to be made.
- Women are essentially emotional; men are rational (Venus and Mars)
- Love means peace, that is, no conflict. Where there is conflict, there must be some sin.
- Love is a feeling.
- Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting.
None of these are true, but all of them are deeply embedded in our culture, a culture that uses a mistaken view of the Genesis 3 account as the basis for each of these lies. In fact, the Church is responsible for most of these unbiblical beliefs. And it continues to perpetuate them. If you have a daughter, she will grow up in this mistaken culture unless you do something about it. Your wife will experience some or all of these false assumptions. Your mother probably already has. And, of course, you—father, husband, man—will also share in the consequences of this mistaken view. Maybe it’s time to really take a hard look at what the Genesis text actually says and determine if we act according to the Bible or according to the Church. There is, unfortunately, a difference.
Oh, yes. I left in the little NASB footnote on the word “Eve,” because even the footnote is wrong. So much for helpful explanations.
Topical Index: Eve, Havvah, relationship, Genesis 3:20
I paraphrase, doing some naming of my own:
“And demons shall meet with monsters, and Azazel shall cry out to another; there Lilith has lain down and found rest for herself”
Is.34:14
All in a spirit (under a Tree) of “knowing” – Adam and Lilith, Azazel and Havah
Excellent bulletpoint list! Goes on the wall!
Points 1-8 are ALL how the flesh experiences life. Men of flesh read their paradigm into the text and twisted accordingly. Not one of those points are within a mile of real love (connection), nor does ‘practicing’ them result in being able to reach out and touch. People who have not read the Bible (and gone to church to get it ‘translated’) believe the exact same thing and live the same way. Every one of those points are a REACTION to life – are one step behind life. Feeling yanked around and looking for justification instead of a reset? Go no further. This list confirms marriages and the people within them in sin and loneliness but will never result in sweet communion. I have lived what I just wrote.
This is Skip at his most inspired. I believe you must have gone and asked at some point, because what you were given was most surely an answer. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for confirming the truth for me. And a big shoutout for Guardian Angel!
Having been a part of a “church” who propagates all the above I can attest to the fact that a marriage is pretty much dead if you follow these principles.
Happily I am still married to the same man and we walked away from that church more than a few years ago. Just unbelievable how women are coached to be doormats and subservient to men in these places and men are elevated to such arrogant places!
Our marriage is more alive than ever due to a real presence of God and loving each other as we would choose to be loved. We are free to express our emotions and thoughts to one another now. I have personally found a much lighter burden and easier yoke since I walked away from organized religion.
Awesome post today! So much to be learned from Guardian Angel as well. Get it and read it!
Because of the mysteries surrounding this subject, it’s relevancy is an understatement no matter your approach. No one escapes the “you and me” of life. I hosted a study from Rosh HaShanah to Rosh HaShana with seven women- we went through a book called The Flame of Yahweh, Sexuality in the old Testament. (Already read the Guardian)
I am wondering if Skip or any of this community have read it?
I quoted from it in Guardian Angel. Good piece of work although I think Davidson’s conclusion about the installation of Man as the head of Woman following the Fall is incorrect. He opts for the usual Christian hierarchy.
Yes, also, after the read and all, my main issue was that he was always bringing you back to the what he called “Edenic pattern” as a type of destination for relationship restoration, but the more I tried to follow him I realized the pattern was only a birth and never fulfillment. As far as we know, in Genesis, Eve was minimally there-for that matter, Adam either! did he ever even say he loved her? It’s not recorded, was there even intimacy in the garden? Because I don’t see it. Adam recognized Eve as the one who was like him, from him, and I think he thought he owned her. Comparing Song of Songs, the depth of interaction and unashamed open affection for each other-They were equally in Love.
I know it’s not the end all conclusion, but why would we ever want to repeat the “Edenic pattern”? Progression is moving forward, finishing the journey might look like coming full circle and arriving in the garden- but then you could re-write the story!
Our mission- is not our birthright.
Where is a King who can Love beyond Solomon? Find the Shulammite.
Abigail, what is love, and where does it come from? If the Garden pair were created “very good”, it has to mean that they were experiencing the flow of the love of God through them unhindered and unadulterated, before that Fall. We cannot generate connection – much less intimacy – with anything or anyone; God does it all through us, but sin is what blocks the flow. Sinlessness returns us to that flow, of which Eden is the golden standard. Adam and Eve only started the pattern of problems with each other (including who ‘owned’ whom – to be fair, we see Eve attempting to ‘own’ her firstborn son, too) after they lost that connection (trust).
Did Solomon write the Song of Songs? He may have been inspired (and I love it, too) but he was hardly a wonderful, dedicated lover himself, wouldn’t you say? He writes in Proverbs that he sifted through a thousand women and still couldn’t find any faithfulness, but I guess you could also say a thousand women sifted through him and THEY couldn’t find any either! Hmm. I would hardly consider him a golden standard as a lover, even though he did show he understood what it was SUPPOSED to be in the Song. Adam, before the Fall, was declared “very good”. I assume that meant he was operating at the highest level of his creation as the epitome of what a lover was designed to be. No romantic comment required.
It is such a complicated subject and you have brought up so many things. I appreciate your response, but I would like to just consider “what is love, where does love come from?”
God is Love.
We are created in His image-being loved by Him and inherently endowed with the capacity to receive His Love and Love Him back with His own Love, and unconditionally love others with His love. Leave the recompense to Him.
We all know Solomon wasn’t perfect- that’s why I said “beyond” Solomon. Was there anyone perfect in the bible, no. But we can still learn from their lives. (except Jesus of course!)
Unless Skip has found something?
Abigail, we certainly do agree on that, and I share your love for our Lover of our souls. One day we are going to stand and sing the Song of Moses to Him and I want to stand next to you and sing just as loudly as you!
Thank you Laurita,
Such a privilege to stand with you and sing to the One we Love!
He will hear us as One:)
“…some tragically radical assumptions occurred about human relationships”… yeah, and sometimes those tragedies are deadly. I actually ended up in severe depression with PTSD because of the shock of marrying into/living in this toxic killer (unknowingly… I thought my husband and the fam I married in to was in love with God but what they were really in love with was religion and compliance to it!)
It was HELL on earth for my children and me. I had NO ONE but GOD to hold on to, to counsel me, to guide me, to protect me. I still wear scars from those horrendous years as do the kids… but my husband and I are still together and still trying to drop off the “garbage.” This belief system is NOT benign.
learning to love is deadly-but you get to live and tell about it!!
Skip, any idea why Adam would call Eve “serpent”?
Love your book & it realigned my thinking on my role & purpose in marriage. You propose a high calling for women, and yet a calling that comes so naturally (God-given).
From rabbinic site, Aish.com
Eve’s Name
What is the Hebrew name of Eve, the first woman? And what is its deeper meaning?
The Aish Rabbi Replies:
The original biblical name of Eve is “Chava.” As with most of the names in the Torah, the Torah explains the significance of this name, which was given to her by Adam.
“The man called his wife’s name Chava, because she had become the mother of all the living” (Genesis 3:20). The root of this name is connected with the word Chaya which means living, and the word “Chai” which means life. “Chava” is in causative form – i.e. she caused all the people in the future to live. (source: “Rashi” Genesis 3:20 with “Siftei Chachamim”)
The Midrash Talpiot explains that Adam could speak all the languages that would ever come into existence. Nevertheless, one day he saw that the animals were crying, and he couldn’t figure out what they were saying. Chava said to him, “They are crying because they are hungry.” Adam immediately recognized that she was right and gave her the name “Chaya” because she was a nurturer.
Similarly it is stated in the Talmud, “She was called Chava because she nursed the whole world. (Avodah Zara 43a).
Alternatively, “Chiva” is a snake. The snake affair was alluded to in her name (Klei Yakar – Genesis 3:20).
The name Chava, is usually translated into English as Eve, because the first letter “Chet” and “Heh” are sometimes exchanged. Thus, the two E’s in eve, are instead of the ‘Chet” and “Heh.”
***
So, it seems Eve does mean “life” or “giver of life,” not solely “serpent.”
But still wondering why Adam would allude to serpent with Eve.
Thoughts?
But you didn’t read Guardian Angel, did you? Or the research by Sarna. If you read the book, the answer is in there. Adam blames her and asserts his authority over her, just like with the animals. Sarna demonstrates the origin of the name. The talmudic position just isn’t adequate to describe the emotion and reaction. But it saves the radical implications of the original text. Perhaps the Talmud reflects its own culture, far from the Egyptian background of the Genesis text.
Could you explain what you mean by the eighth one?
“Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting.” Most of us are quick to forgive (sort of) but then we hold on to the injury for use later. So after some time has lapsed, and something else offends us, we use that past sin to remind the person how terrible they were in the past. We supposedly forgive, but we store away reminders.
This is not how God forgives.
I am thinking about serious cases (mainly marital) where one person is abusing another person but is oblivious to how he/she is abusing the other person because of a great sense of entitlement and won’t take responsibility for his/her actions. They will never apologize because they aren’t sorry. They are people who could be called narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths.
I am thinking about other serious situations where people are being abused and harmed.
I wonder what you would think of Barbara Buzzard’s article titled ‘A Plea for a Return to Biblical Repentance’. Now that I think back, I first heard about you because of their site and your talk on the history of the trinity.
Sorry but abuser in my view must be separated from after third attempt to reform… This is forgiveness in action. Rather show wrong and how to overcome. When abuser fails to reform the forgiving person has done all human possible…
Step away and start afresh but remember never to permit again…
May God guide us all in this life changing forgiving process.
Seems like a healthy approach. Thank you.