A Psalm of Contradiction
“Turn Your gaze away from me, that I may smile again before I depart and am no more.” Psalm 39:13 NASB
Away from– The end of David’s autobiographical, public revelation is just as counter-intuitive as the beginning. Having reached the point of a desperate cry for mercy, and an identification with YHVH estranged from creation, we expect David to say, as he usually does, “Turn your gaze upon me.” But we are confronted with just the opposite. “Turn your gaze away from me.” In fact, the final verse of this public song suggests that as long as God keeps looking at this king, he will be unable to smile again. He will endure the rest of his days without joy or cheerfulness. He will feel the oppression of God’s thumb on his heart, and life will have no flavor except bitter herbs.
David’s words press us to consider what little time is left for us. Soon we will depart. There is no suggestion here of any afterlife bliss. The word for “no more” is ʾayin, a word that evokes a deep sense of nothing or nowhere. It’s the Hebrew equivalent of “It’s over and done.” We all face the inevitability of our non-existence, regardless of whatever beliefs or hopes we hold on to about something later. David views life from the end, and pleads that God will let up enough so that he can have some reprieve, some sense of delight, before his days conclude.
But “turn away from me” seems entirely wrong. Wouldn’t we want God to make His face shine upon us and give us peace? Isn’t that the solution to distress, despair and discouragement? Don’t we invoke God’s promise not to abandon us when we feel the strain of living as alien residents? Then why does David ask just the opposite? Why does he employ min when we expect him to use ʾel (preposition – “toward”)?
The answer lies in the entire framework of this song. It is a song of contradiction. Silence is opposed to speech. Judgment is opposed to transience. Accomplishment is opposed to nothingness. Hope is opposed to death. And now, here, blessing (to look upon me) is opposed to curse (to look at me). This is the flip-side of God’s anointing, to know the heart of God in anguish. This is the burden of divine care for creation. And it overwhelms. Who among men can withstand the agony of God?
We need protection from God’s true character because God’s true character is the conflict of mercy and judgment. We need oblivion in the face of human betrayal of the divine. We need distraction, diversion and, we need God to turn this side of His face away. If He doesn’t, we perish in the grief. What David reveals is the side of God we don’t want to see—or to feel, the side of God that repents over ever creating men in the first place. Back to Noah and the divine trauma of extinction.
David wants to smile, just once more before he dies. Just once more he wants to experience the innocence of ignorance, before God revealed to him his rebellion, his people’s rebellion and human rebellion—and the broken heart all of that revelation brings. Perhaps we also want one more day of innocent ignorance.
Or perhaps it is now too late.
Topical Index: away from, min, Psalm 39:13
Absolutely fantastic and yet I feel like I have much homework to do….. I’ve been listening to “Heaven and Hell” (lots of rewinding) and notating the Hebrew words of this Psalm on TW each day makes this all totally relatable yet so so so vexing. I appreciate the depth of some of the words and the “time-out” to set the stage of whom David is addressing. It’s so refreshing and so heavy. How can this be? It’s the dualism of life and the Word – and all of that over time… and our time is short…. So, where do I send my litany of questions?
Bring them with you to the conference in Texas in February.
I am reminded of Yeshua’s anguished cry in the garden of Gethsemane: “if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, Thy will be done”.
It is human to be overwhelmed. It is human to hate that place. It is human to want relief, and human to ask for it; after all, we were created to live, not die, and overwhelm feels like death.
But we are called to victory: not a pass on life. We are promised muscles, not a weightless atmosphere, and so we take up the armor (made only for our frontsides, of course) and fight again, and again. The only promise is victory, for the condition is already war and the sides have already been drawn.
I walked away from God; I didn’t want to fight the “good fight”, but I found, to my surprise, that I was even more desperate for love and life. After decades of running and trying to ‘do right’ on my own, I came back. The choice, after all, is victory or oblivion. Personally, I got tired of losing.
Don’t know if your done yet Skip, but thank you for going through this psalm with us. There’s so much here to contemplate and discuss that I’m sure we could spend endless days debating. Just a thought on what struck me as I read this section. You said that there is no suggestion of afterlife bliss here, I understand what you’re saying but I see it a bit differently. That term “min” is the same root used in Genesis in regards to producing after its kind ( from my activity?) and this is where the contradiction is really brought forward. If I’m only to look at the fruit of my labor, I’m forced to believe that I’m a “seed” of destruction in spite of the fact that God says different. ( in His likeness…) There’s another that found this contradiction when he said that in his inner man he delights in the law of God and that when he desires to do good, evil is right there also, but he also said in another place that if we only have our hope here in this world, we are to be pitied more than all men. I’m a seed, but I haven’t been planted yet and when I am, I’ll sprout. I don’t know how God’s gonna work that out but I know He said that HE created good and evil, for His own purposes. Meanwhile, it says that the joy of the LORD is our strength, I read that as His joy = His strength (not mine) Turn your face away from those activities I produced in my strength (min) Turn your face to the one you formed with your own hand. I can “smile” (gleam) in His strength.
Yes, this is the last of the study of Psalm 39. I hope you found it all worthwhile. And yes, we might reach to Paul to find another way to read this, but, of course, Paul is a thousand years later after the significant change in the view of the afterlife. Paul may be reflecting on David’s psalm, but clearly David is not imagining Paul’s point of view. We are the beneficiaries of thousands of years of progressive revelation, but the authors aren’t. Nevertheless, I believe that understanding the author in his own timeframe and culture helps me experience the same emotional trauma, and that seems to be to be universal in Man.
Thank you Skip this bread has been very helpful …progressive revelation is helpful I think for us to realize that we were not alone as David shares so deeply the pain of life the sorrow the seeming hopelessness our weakness our unfaithfulness Strangers with God strangers on this earth surrounded by so much beauty infinite infinite color and oxygen in the greens of the forest and the Browns of the desert So much in life and so much death all around us in the middle of it all we have TW and Skip as you opened your soul with us thank you Skip thank you Larreta Michael Craig seeker all of you who have shared and Opened your own hearts this is encouragement thank you for imparting life to us through YAs words SHALOM to you all
Interesting reply Skip. We should maybe discuss the impact this progressive revelation has had on the covenant life devoted to YHWH’s purpose with this natural creation… Some claims have been made that man’s life was never supposed to end… That for another day discussion.
Baruch Ruby blessed be YHWH who uses everyone to draw everyone closer to His divine intent may His peace, righteousness and joy guide us all to becoming Sons and Daughters of the living God.
I agree with your assessment in regards to David, and although I may not be as convinced as others about his understanding (or lack of it) concerning the resurrection and/or afterlife, I just find the links in words and stories fascinating insofar as the depth of scripture is concerned. I mean, who woulda thunk that one could substantiate the resurrection by the statement of God that “I am” the God of Abraham….? Anyhoo… this whole series certainly wasn’t milk, but meat and we need that desperately. Thanks again.
Lovely! And what a wise way to bring closure to a world that still follows the Gregorian Pagan Calendar! No! I am not criticizing I am just seeing Yahuwah’s amazing mercy. How He would love us to live in His Grace. And His Grace and not His mercy for us is by following His Biblical Calendar revealing His seven day Sabbath and His Biblical Feasts (Mo’ed). Much Shalom