No Thank You
Remove the false way from me, and graciously grant me Your law. Psalm 119:29 NASB
Remove– Okay, I admit it. I make lots of mistakes. I do know a few things, and sometimes I get them right, but most of the time these little adventures into the language and culture of ancient people is just the best that I can do now. That means every day I put myself forward for the reading audience to critique. And that means I get a lot of feedback, some of which is hard to take. Daily surgery is not what I had in mind. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. It pushes all the “You’re not good enough” buttons that lie behind most of my broken self-image. It feeds the yetzer ha’ra, driving me away from any sense of comfort and care.
So I think it’s time to make a change. Of course, this is a double-edged sword. If I stop the blog criticism, then I stop the daily attacks, but at the same time, I also prevent encouraging words. I need the encouraging words, or at least I think I do. I know that I feel pretty much alone in this journey, as many of you have also said to me. So encouragement is important. Far too often I feel overwhelmed when, once more, I discover another twist or turn I didn’t see before. It’s exciting, of course, but it’s also threatening. Why didn’t I know this before? How long have I been in the dark? What’s next? Sometimes it feels like I’m rebuilding a wall while it is tumbling down. So the last thing I really want to add to the daily collapse and rebuilding process is someone excavating the foundation with reminders that I don’t know how to repair the wall. Yes, I’m sure that God uses other people to correct us, but it’s still painful.
“Remove the false way from me,” pleads David. I’d like to think I could say that same thing with great sincerity, but I’m not so sure. The false way is comfortable. It doesn’t bite back. The translation “remove” doesn’t quite capture the impact here. The Hebrew verb is sûr. The basic meaning is “turn aside,” but in the Hiphil stem, it means “remove.” The blunt force trauma of this word is its context. This is the same word often used for removing idolatry from Israel. “God’s people are urged to remove or ‘put away’ those things that will do spiritual harm to them: strange gods (Gen 35:2), all evil (Isa 1:16), wine (I Sam 1:14), false ways (Ps 119:29), and false worship (Amos 5:21–23).”[1] When David pleads for God to remove the false way, he’s not just asking for moral correction. He’s asking God to eradicate anything that interferes with his covenant relationship. It’s important that we recognize “false ways” in Hebrew as “lies.” David wants the truth—no matter what the cost. And that’s the issue for most of us, including me. Ways in breach of faith are easier to live with. They are less demanding, less emotionally charged, less agitating. I am used to my false ways. To have them removed is not only painful, it’s fearful. If I’m not convinced that removal will benefit me, then I won’t ask. And in the end I’ll suffer more.
So how can I be convinced that I need to have this thorn in the flesh? That probably isn’t going to happen because I find some inner resolve. It has to happen because I trust the stories about God’s goodness in the lives of others despite their pain and grief. And that means looking outside myself. If I try to find some inner motivation to ask for this eradication process, I’ll probably fail. There’s just too much of me in the way. I’ll have to rely on what happened to other people—and step forward without really knowing how it’s going to turn out.
I just don’t see any other way. Maybe you do.
Topical Index: remove, sûr, false way, truth, Psalm 119:29
[1]Patterson, R. D. (1999). 1480 סוּר. In R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer, Jr. & B. K. Waltke (Eds.), Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament(R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer, Jr. & B. K. Waltke, Ed.) (electronic ed.) (621). Chicago: Moody Press.
Skip, You said, “Sometimes it feels like I’m rebuilding a wall while it is tumbling down.” It sounds as if you have much in common with Sisyphus, the Greek archetypal absurd hero.
While it was his “punishment” to endure an eternity of hopeless struggle, know that your stuggle is not in vain as 2 Corinthians 4:17 reminds us: “For our light and transient troubles are achieving for us an everlasting glory whose weight is beyond description.”
His task seemed unfair and too hard to bear, yet he does and in doing so he displays a scorn for the pagen gods by daily faithfully enduring his trials. James 1:2-4: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
To me, his work ( and yours) proved he has a passion for life and a hatred of death through his willingness to both please and suffer. Maybe he was a closet Hebrew. Perhaps we should start calling you Skipyphys.
Hang in there Brother. I believe it is in your heart to persevere. You will either level out the mountain or wear out the rock before you quit, but if you need to rest then take a break…we will still be here, busy with our own Herculean tasks.
Michael, you know that you just edified a whole lot of other people when you edified “Skipyphys”. When Skip hurts, so do we, and vice versa, too.
Skip, if you have a public voice, not only do you speak to the people, you speak for them, too. If you feel pain for lies exposed and faults aired in public, keep in mind that at least some of those lies and faults are ours, too. Your pain touches our wounds, and if we yell “ouch!” please know that you did not wound us: the wounds and lies were already there. This seems some days, to me, like a perennial twelve-step group where we sit around feeling each other’s pain and seeing each other’s dirty laundry, but please know that humans are a whole lot more alike than they are different. This grand “fellowship of sufferings” has to be “working patience” and other good stuff, too! Moses found shelter behind meekness. Meekness hurts the most up front I think, because it is a direct assault on all our defenses. When we learn to become accountable to each other, however, meekness is the safest substrate.
I want to say, most days, you probe at least some aspect of my wounds and false beliefs in some way. Purging is painful on both ends. Solidarity is what gives courage, though. Thank you to the very bottom of my heart for being willing (and meek enough!) to continue to do such a job one more day. Please, just for today, hang in there, and don’t think about any longer than that, because we are not promised help beyond today. I think that is because we don’t need to face the future of the unknown: we just need courage to face today. Thank you for being such a wonderful model for me and allowing God to work on so many of us with you!
Love in Yeshua, Laurita
Well said, “nothing befalls us that is not common to man” we are tied to a common destiny, common adversaries and a common reward for persevering. It is the Olam Haba, getting prepared to be with Yeshua eternally is no small task. But it is his work “He will accomplish what concerns us”. We rest into his promises and wait for that day.
Hi Skip, I prayed David’s Psalm 51, years ago, and had to recite to myself, “but YOU desire truth in my inward parts.” The difference is it wasn’t recitation. It was an offering. I didn’t realize that truth going into my inner parts separates, divides, exposes…But, ultimately it has been good. Some days not so as you have been experiencing as well. There’s something about getting “freed” from those inner lies though. I am finding, there’s so much more about God that I don’t know and wont be able to figure out. And, that’s ok. Learning to “rest” is difficult but surprisingly helpful. May the Lord bless you and keep you. We need you!
Every morning, well almost, I begin with a prayer decleration, unsure if I have a right. Then I read, reading Skip is a special place for me, sometimes light, other times not, but your searching is my daily comforting challenge. With you, every day, I am not completely alone. Not as often as I wish, when you quote an author, I search them out, if I can find used (books) I eat scraps from their table too. I think there is a difference between a jackles and a dogs. I am a dog eating scraps from the Masters Table, may the hackles find road kill to devour somewhere else. The Beggining of Desire, A.G. Zornberg pg. 121 “Here is food, here is drink-but if there is no peace, there is nothing” … Question, is there no door to close against jackles? Shalom Bruce.
Once again, Skip, you are verbalizing what many of us are thinking and experiencing. Thank you for being so open and honest. May we are rest in YHWH and remain steadfast and faithful. Shalom Shalom.
Indeed…I frequently feel that I am struck down…while in a wilderness…stuck in the continual need of adjusting my ‘desire’…by traumatic excision… because my desire renders me an idolator… even as it does ‘my neighbor’. But no matter the experience, the feeling of trauma…I am assured it is not more than I am able to endure…because He is faithful. He has provided ‘the way’. And He is treating me as his son!
A day off every seven.
Maybe a year off every seven.
My day, my life, my future would not be what it is without you my friend. I would be lost in the wilderness as I was when we first met years ago. Keep on truckin’ Skip. You are priceless to me.
The only reason I Stay connected, is to learn at my own pace. I’m inspired to be connected, with such a cloud of witnesses. Not that any of us have passed on, but their writings are timeless, because truth is timeless. Experience truly is the best teacher. With the comforter as our guide oh, and the confirmation of his. Spirit…. We can’t lose. So I continue to press toward the mark of the High Calling which is in Yeshua. Hamashiach. And as I grow to die to this world with others. May we all continue to leave the faithful Witness, that Yahweh can use whatever he wants. He is the faithful one, he is the only righteous one oh, he is the one who chooses what is best for us he knows what we need. Let us gather together in one Accord, and praise the Lord, Yahweh.
Hang in there! You are loved and prayed for and every day I can’t wait to read your blog!!!
I don’t comment often because I don’t have nearly the eloquence of words many of you have to say all the thoughts running through my head. But Skip here you go again just verbally expressing what I and many of us feel. Keep sharing your journey, your investigations, your insights, your struggles, etc. it’s helping in ways I don’t have enough words to truly express.
Sometimes criticism is helpful, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes the critic is right. Sometimes he/she is wrong. Either way, we are left with something to contemplate. Perhaps God uses those times to nudge us along on our journeys…to either strengthen what we know is Truth, or consider that we might need to reevaluate and make a slight course correction. Whatever the case, I know your readers will benefit from what you glean from the criticism or encouragement you receive along the way. And, as you share what you learn, you pay it forward so we too can contemplate, struggle, and hopefully learn what God is trying to teach each one of us. Thanks Skip…we’ve all been impacted by your journey.
I lead small groups once a month. After
I prepare a lesson I search your articles to see if I am missing the Hebrew sentiment with my Christian Believers. Skip, You’ve done the hard work of sharing the results of your research and commitment to Truth. With this gift of yours you have cared for many. Skip I pray that you treat yourself as a caregiver who needs time to focus on their own health.
Hopefully those who seek to challenge you will remember to do so in love. We are all becoming, evolving, and discovering. The thing about knowledge is that it can puff up in such a way that we forget that when our comments are not motivated by love we are nothing, and truth without grace will do more to destroy than edify. When speaking to my husband during disagreements I watch my words and energy… I keep in front of me the big picture… my goal is clarity and connection not winning a debate. Romans 14, the entire chapter, has taught me much about criticism and the Lord’s attitude about it.
Hopefully from here forward we choose our words in a way that leads to love and edifying since judging any part of the body is to hem in and hurt yourself. It helps to remember that this is not a flesh and blood war… Anyway, I pray that the “knowledge sharing” of those seeking to please God doesn’t become ego full and love empty.
“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love [for others growing out of God’s love for me], then I have become only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal [just an annoying distraction]. And if I have the gift of prophecy [and speak a new message from God to the people], and understand all mysteries, and [possess] all knowledge; and if I have all [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love [reaching out to others], I am nothing. If I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it does me no good at all. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3”
Thank you, Cloud9. Please pray for me, too! I am such a baby!
Skip I don’t know how to share this with you and the group .I am an active addict I’ve been listening and observing for a couple years now and it’s only because of the things that you and the group shared that I’ve observed truth from a distance I keep dancing around the outside of the circle even though I’ve attempted to make comments most of it’s probably been as a result of my desire to want to feel excepted to want to know that I’m loved I have seen and attempted to embrace the truth and the light that you have shared I don’t know what will happen if I don’t get those words of encouragement and truth perhaps it’s a needful that you go away so that I might learn to walk on my own 2 feet .I don’t understand how the relationship in the community really works we have tried on several occasions to embrace other messianic communities always somewhat less than disasters affects but again and again I have turned back to you Skip and the community that contributes because it’s the only oxygen that I get it’s keeping me alive I’m surprised how many times the thought of suicide comes into my mind but I know that that is not an answer that would be catastrophe I don’t know where I would spend eternity where I would go on the other side of life at this point I’m afraid to die it must be because I’m really afraid to live to enter in to seek him with my whole heart but my heart is deceitful .I want you to know Skip that I feel I believe I know experiential you have been a life preserver for not only me but many people .I heard it once said that for every letter that is written there are 100 more who feel just the same way I’m sure that there’s many people on TW that have never expressed how much you have helped them . you’re a scalpel in gods hands and your healing balm you’ve been a blessing !!!! I for one still need you in my life and I know that there’s many others that also do ! MayGod reward you a hundredfold for all that you’ve done for me and the others Peace to you
@Laurita – Certainly!
Thank you, Cloud9. You just made my day!
Skip,
Cleaning out my raspberry patch is a love/hate affair. I put on long sleeves, pants and gloves, but it never fails, scratches and thorns appear. The scratches heal quickly but those thorns! OUCH! Eventually they do come out after festering. Those little thorns always amaze me by how much pain they can cause. This little chore in my garden reminds me of the lyrics from a song, “a thorn is all the world has to offer.” But every spring I look forward to cleaning those thorny bushes because they produce the reddest biggest juiciest raspberries. However, the thorns do not disappear during the harvest. My family and friends love consuming the jams, desserts, the freshness of the berries, and my grandkids are discovering it hurts to pick raspberries.
Every day I look forward to your blog, your journey, I consume the fruit you produce. I am thankful to be a part of the body of God’s Table. You and God’s Table have encouraged me! The fruit of your ministry has re-directed my thoughts, beliefs and actions. I now know because of you and God’s Table the world has more to offer than a thorn. You point out the thorns in my life, which have festered in me, and as my hurts and pains ooze out, healing comes.
I remember a long time ago you called concerned about our family business asking “what can I do?” You asked the family at God’s Table to pray for me and my family when my niece unexpectedly passed. You call about our community’s failing water wells, saying you will keep praying. Now it is our turn, “What can we do?”
As Bob Dylan wrote, with my interpretation! “I have a lot of nerve to say you are my friend, when You were down, and I just stood there grinning.”
Marilyn Walter
I think you can tell by all of these comments Skip that you are a valued and appreciated for your commitment to what you feel God is/has directed you to do. Sometimes he changes courses and then we follow. Sometimes this will affect and maybe even hurt those that are following us, but our goal is to follow him. He will deal with the outcomes of this following !
I am reminded the last couple of days in regards to the lords prayer, “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven “. By saying this we are giving God permission to do what he wants to do in and through us and a lot of times it is painful. We are yoked up with him. He invites us, “come on to me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest, take MY yoke upon you and learn of me for I am meek and lowly of heart and you will find rest unto your souls. For MY yoke is easy and my burden is light!”. We release you to whatever God has for you or whatever God is doing in you.
Hi Skip, We don’t talk a lot but I want you to know that I respect you and your work.I am personally grateful for your faithfulness to God for what you have given (back) to me. Remember that a Jewish grid is a better place to view the world. I think what you are doing takes immense bravery, but remember you are just the messenger. If it were not for you, I would not have the many people I teach who are, in fact, relearning about who they are ‘in Christ’ (it’s not what you think). Your encouragement of me led to my encouragement of others who are now trying to understand YOU…it comes full circle. That goes for Roderick, Burt (yes even Burt) Donna and I in Living Truth, along with others who have heard you speak and are studying your content through me and even Brenda. Please try as hard as you can to NOT TAKE IT personally. While it may FEEL like it is YOU, it’s not. I understand how ministry can be thankless, and draining. You are being a wonderful servant to a wonderful God who created you for a wonderful purpose that you are wonderfully accomplishing. You just have a skewed view…because you are human (and sometime EEYORE). We all love you and those that don’t are missing the point. “C”
Yes Skip not my will but the Fathers will be done. I also release you.
Dear Sir, I beg you to stay.
Rachel and I will be dismayed if you choose to “give up the ship.” No way, Skip!!!
Well, that means a lot. Thanks.
“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Skip please endure. We need you. I have been on both sides of the fence and know how you feel. Please don’t be the coward I am and stop.
I agree Randy…Skip’s insights are an essential component to my day, though within my church fellowship I’m feeling increasingly that I’m living two separate lives…an outer one and an inner one..it can be quite stressful and tormenting…
Something I intend to address on Friday at the next conference
I look forward to hearing it!
I started digging into the things you have discussed, the deeper meanings in Hebrew and the way the Church has missed the boat following Greek mindsets etc, before I found your stuff. I felt so alone because questioning tradition is next to heresy. Finding someone else who didn’t just want to follow along blindly has been such a huge encouragement to me! Plus the fact that you have more understanding helps me so much- gives me places to start researching and studying! Thank you!
I like your statement Dawn. “ questioning Tradition is next to heresy”. I have felt that strongly as the paradigm of my thinking has been enlarged through today’s word. It can be fearful to move outside of your “box“ and explore what is out there. Anxiety and uncertainty are actually a means by which we can grow. It’s a wonderful place to come to you when you can live with uncertainties and ambiguities without falling apart or permanently retreating to your box.
Skip—As I read all these comments, I keep thinking that you have recently planted your roots in Europe. This is a whole new spiritual territory. Ask the Ruach HaKodesh to show you your NEW Battleground, and how to push through and go to the next level. You are in an intense spiritual battle with enemies that you are not familiar with…yet. Whatever you must do— do it. We will stay in your gondola no matter what!! Be blessed.
Hi Skip. I am an older lady living by myself and I have no idea how I came upon your page, but I believe that God knows. Your obedience to God has had a life changing effect in the way I am now beginning to really understand the TRUTH of God’s word. Over quite a few year now I have been crying out to God to reveal HIS truth to me. I have yearned and longed to serve him in Spirit and in truth, your word for today and so many of the other links I have read have had a life changing effect on my life. I have read many of your teachings going back in time and have been blessed by your insight and wisdom that I believe God has opened up to you. However I cannot say that this has neccaserily been easy, I have felt sick with excitement at times, and so grateful to God for answering the cry of my heart. I truly believe you are an instrument in Gods mighty hand, you may at times get knocked down, but you get up again. The old worldly saying that “ Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is so wrong, words are dangerous things at times, and so we immediately need to go to GODS WORD, the once and for all authority. IT IS WRITTEN … No weapon formed us shall prosper, and no tongue that is raised shall stand. It is Gods word and his word alone that we live by, People who are truly seeking to serve God, those who are hungering and thirsting for the truth will truly suffer without your words of wisdom and encouragement. None of what you do is about you, it is God in you working according to HIS plans and purposes. Don’t ever give up, God needs you.
I don’t believe you will be able to stop what you do, your silence would cause you to die from the inside out.
Hi, I have come to this TW late, catching up after a gap. Skip, there is so much wonderful depth and clarity and help here in your posts!
I feel sometimes like we are in prison cells tapping out messages to one another. I am reminded of Solzhenitsyn in The Gulag Archipelago writing that it was in the prison he was able to become real; that even when he had to lead his guards to a location in Moscow and could have escaped he longed for the truth and clarity and wideness of the interior life that his painful prison experience revealed. So your struggles and this site, tapping out your insights and struggles, are a place for us to connect and glimpse the “world/promise beyond the horizon”. Most of us just listen and are quietly challenged and encouraged by you and the others who post, but I just want to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH for being the conduit for so much nourishment for the journey into Life.
My brother, Kathryn suggested you where struggling a bit to hold your ground. I have been required to focus on holding mine and have had less time for the great pleasure of following today’s word. “Having done all stand” Paul suggests to us. Because we have an enemy, one who assaults us through whispered lies, contortions of the truth and miss-place or in-appropriately motivated accusations. Yeshua never denied the “accuser of the brethren” he just did not give him much ground or comment.Yeshua fixed his eye’s on Jerusalem. I will not likely ever (this side of the Olam Habba ) have the time requisite to mine the depths of the word as you have. You brother have developed a mastery of the languages the context and the equipment necessary to mine the depths of scripture for the purest gold. Remember that gold is refined by fire and heat. Yehovah is after our character not our comfort. He turns up the heat to create purer gold. I encourage you not to let those that do not understand, nor appreciate what you have gone through or attained in this work, discourage or distract you from it. For that is the intent of the adversary. Having done all stand, and do that confidently that you have not gone alone, you are not isolated and your are respected and appreciated by those who work the depths of their own mine shafts. There are only a few places we can come up and share our treasures found in delving deep into the depths and the dark. We each have our own mine to work, none is the same. But you have chosen to work that which is most fruitull for others. The word is life, Torah is life for all who find it. I am so very grateful that you bring up your treasures to share with us. Please do not stop, PLEASE….