The Order of Existence
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 NASB
A helper suitable– We have investigated a lot about the Hebrew phrase ‘ezer kenegdo. We discovered that these words spoken by God about the creation of the woman are filled with royal language, imply the final act of God’s work, provide grounds for a special, spiritual role for women, and position the wife as the relationship manager of the couple. But perhaps our investigation needs one more look. Far too often Western biblical exegesis seems to confuse order with authority. This results in the belief that because Adam was created first, he is in authority over the woman. The punishment passages of Genesis 3 are then interpreted as if God institutes an authoritarian hierarchy following the Fall so that the male becomes the prophet, priest and king in the household. But order (cardinal or hierarchical) is not necessarily authority.
The Biblical view is a hierarchy of order, not authority. That means each part of the order, or each person in the ordered whole, plays a role that no other part or person can play. The order is not about some parts or persons being in control. It is about the harmonious operation of the whole because each part or person performs according to the design. Some are prophets, teachers, pastors, etc. There is an order, but this does not imply levels of authority. A prophet is not in charge of a teacher, nor a pastor in charge of one who carries forth the message. Each does what they must do for the good of the whole.
Consider this principle in relation to the “wives, be submissive” in Ephesians 5 and Peter’s instructions to women with obstreperous husbands in 1 Peter 3. How does it relate to ‘ezer thinking? In both cases, the power behind submission lies with the women. Power is granted authority. It does not come by natural right. A man is allowed the position of leadership in the marriage because the woman grants it to him. There is no biblical basis for asserting the men have authority over women as a natural right. In fact, there are safeguards in Scripture to prevent just such errant assumptions. For example, “Do not think more of yourself than of others” involves humility, in Greek, tapeinos, a word which literally means, “to put in proper order,” not “to assume authority over.” And what is the proper order? For those in the Kingdom, it is a return to the original design of Genesis 2—mutual submission of each role for the benefit of the whole.
Topical Index: ‘ezer kenegdo, helper suitable, authority, power, tapeinos, Genesis 2:18
Free will is strange stuff. It apparently starts out assuming that all power (of choice, of course) resides in the free will agent, whereupon that agent chooses how to spend that power: how to grant those choices. For the longest time I didn’t get why the language in Revelation 4:11, 5:12, and 7:12 was the way it was: it seemed that the people singing were GRANTING “Blessing, and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, and honour, and power, and might” to God, but how could that be if God already had it all? When David sings “bless the Lord, O my soul” what is he talking about? And when I choose to have the will of God exercised in me, what am I really doing if God already has free exercise of His will? Could it be that the Creator designed us, when He gave us that will (and honor and power (of choice) and might”, etc. that we were to turn around and give it right back, as the Father and Son do? Is this the heavenly design of the order of things? When we sing “To God be the glory” we really are GIVING glory to Him (which means we had it at the time we gave it to Him): not just acknowledging that He already has all the glory “due His holy name”?
These thoughts about how we are to be “in honor, preferring one another”: not because we are already worms and need to just admit it to each other (and to God) but because, as agents that come pre-loaded with the POTENTIAL of keeping that honor and glory and power for ourselves (or wasting it on other false gods), we really have the ability to confer honor to those around us, as well as to God. Thinking about this has also sobered me to realize that I can squander all that potential good stuff that love works by, on sin, too. I can give sin all my power (of choice), glory (I get shame in that exchange) and honor. And then go around wondering why I feel like such a worthless worm! Well, I must have been giving all the good stuff away to all the wrong things!
When I “humble myself under the mighty hand of God” He “exalts” me “in due time”. When I “in honor” prefer “one another”, everybody ends up getting honored. Apparently, authority, power, honor, glory, etc., like all the other real stuff, works under the same principle the rest of God’s creation does: nobody can serve it for themselves! They are dependent upon others! Even God, in some unfathomable way, made it to where He has to wait until we honor Him before He gets that honor. Love really must be crazy!
I think Paul said it well, “ husbands, love your wives “. If you’re wondering what that looks like just look at God’s love in First Corinthians 13:4-7. Pretty well covers every aspect of it!
This is the very love that God has for us! Amazing.
Skip’s thorough analysis of this ‘love’ pericope is well worth investing some time in study and consideration. It has become one of my “must have” reading references. (Thank you Skip!)
“The Grammar of Love”, TW, March 5, 2008
I’m wondering if Skip Moen would disagree today with many of the statements he made in 2016, including those made in The Grammar of God.
Thank you for referring us to this study. I was looking for something to delve into and this looks amazing!
Thank you Skip, this is such a wonderful mystery of the kingdom written into the eternal purpose of original design.
Eve was there all along. Adam was inclusive of the whole of Eve until she was taken “out” of him. So technically Adam and Eve were created not just equal, but together as one and subsequently separated and identities were established as visible in each others eyes. And so the unravelling mystery of the way of a man with a woman! How to become one in free choice.
This is the pattern mirroring Christ and His Bride who also came out of Him- and are destined to becoming one in Him in mutual submission and full surrender. Our destination is the wedding feast of the Lamb where we are co-heirs with Christ and ruling and reigning with Him in all power and authority- this is the desire of the nations-Every knee will bow to this Love
“Come buy from me without silver or gold” Your soul is the currency of choice, trading for eternal treasures is a life well lived.
I knew the moment I first saw her!
She was everything I was not.
(And, boy, did I need that!)
It was her profoundly quiet and impeccably
patient love that stood me on my ear and
shook me to my core.
There are no words that can ever adequately
express my deep and sincere thanks to her.
I could NEVER be the man I am without my
magnificent wife, whose love to this day is God’s
greatest gift to me other than Himself.
Rich thank you, when I read the first line of your post Oh, I thought you mediately of how God would choose a help meet with a man. God knew who would be compatible with him, and he knew who would raise his children well. And so on and so on, as I study the word of God and the Revelations of God. And so on. I could understand what God means to have chosen for me the right mate. Her upbringing, her status, Her Style, everything about her, is to help better me and our children. I just got home from the hospital yesterday, I had a heart refurb, it is a heart beat that has become unnormal, and causes the heart to race at pace and beat that is not healthy. Will they found out what caused it, details not necessary, but with my stay in the hospital. Tuesday night through Sunday afternoon. We will call it for days, I noticed that along with the pattern that my sisters had followed just months prior, with my father before he passed, they gave immense detail do everything the doctor said, and kept track of it, and sent it to the prayer warriors, and pastors that I am involved with. Each time the doctors four of them who were analyzing when they would return with information they would first, give it to me, and then give all the details to my wife, because she would be the one to ask questions oh, and get specific details. And we know God is in the details. That’s all I have to say for now but a woman’s role it’s to be a help meet. To balance out her mate, even direct him at times oh, so that he can be the best that he can be. My wife said such a high standard for yourself, knowing that God has called her to be the best that you can be, and whenever I feel discouraged, or wherever I feel I can’t with the bar, or pull the weight, I think I found my wife can do it. I know this is a lot of chat but I hope someone has clean something from it. From a very recent experience. I love you all Press On soldiers of the cross.