Unconscious (Update)
Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.” Genesis 28:16 NASB
I did not know it – lo yada’etti. But how could he not know? Isn’t God everywhere? How could Jacob think for a moment that God wasn’t in the place where he slept on that fateful night? This little admission suggests that Jacob and his extended family still live in the world of territorial gods where YHVH only is sovereign in “the Land.”
Or you might conclude that Jacob probably was just unaware like we are. When was the last time you said to yourself, “Oh, of course, God is right here with me in this place.” No, probably you didn’t even think about it. You just went on with whatever you were doing, for good or evil, without even considering the fact that God was there too. Moses Luzzatto captures our unconscious idolatry. “When a man is convinced that, wherever he is, he always stands in the presence of God, blessed be He, he is spontaneously imbued with fear lest he do anything wrong, and so detract from the exalted glory of God. . . As reflection is a means to the cultivation of unswerving fear of God, so are thoughtlessness and inattention, . . . the greatest hindrances to it.”[1]
In other words, if we actually thought about it, we would realize that God is present always and everywhere, and this would cause us to act very differently. But the truth is that we don’t think about it. We live unconsciously. We grope about in a spiritual stupor. We make ourselves numb to the divine presence and pretend that God either isn’t watching or doesn’t care. Like Jacob, after the fact, we are struck with the revelation, “God was in this place and I didn’t know it.”
Oswald Chambers’ insight helps us realize the carelessness of our stupor. “God holds us accountable for what we do not see. . . The unfathomable sadness of the ‘might have been!’ God never opens doors that have been closed. He opens other doors, but He reminds us that there were doors which we have shut, doors which need never have been shut, imaginations which need never have been sullied.”[2] Chambers concludes that God confronts us with the past, not to punish us but to remind us of those times when we were blind to His presence when we failed to remember that He is Sovereign everywhere. Sometimes remembering the door that we shut because we were blind is a very painful experience. Relationships lost. Loved ones estranged. Opportunities of service squandered. Loneliness. Despair. “How can I ever regain what I lost?” we ask Him. And we weep. There is no going back. The door was shut. We were as blind as Balaam. And now we have only the sorrow of knowing we were deliberately blind.
God restores. That does not mean He erases. Despite the terror of knowing we could have gone another way, it is knowing this that becomes a part of our journey in a different direction. Nothing is wasted, even what we threw away. But it still hurts.
Topical Index: omnipresence, sovereignty, Genesis 28:16, sorrow
There have been so many times when I found myself so far off track, after seeing my surroundings what are so ungodly,, that now find only a few steps off track, I am reminded to go back. I want to be in the place, that every time before I step off I know it isn’t right. I don’t know if that day will ever come. Because I don’t want to take it for granted. I’ve learned lessons, so I can share with others God’s loving kindness. Remembering especially the time that brought us to our first repentance oh, that lettuce to is to his salvation, Yeshua God is saving. I have understood that that’s what his name means. If wrong could someone correct me, please. I trust that this will help someone.
I readily admit that I do not dwell in the rarified mountain heights of an Oswald Chambers or even ascend the vaunted heights of a Skip Moen but if “God holds us accountable for what we do not see. . . The unfathomable sadness of the ‘might have been!’ I think I am content to dwell in the lower plateaus where God does not judge me so harshly, nor condemn me for what I did NOT do. I believe He leaves the what ‘might have been’ reproofs and the hauntings of “Relationships lost, Loved ones estranged, Opportunities of service squandered, Loneliness (and) Despair” up to me. I concede that after a life long familiarity with these feelings I don’t need God or anyone else to “rub it in” or remind me of them. I don’t need to go to a future alleged “hell” to be tormented. I know the misery of the omnipresent ‘what might have beens’ intimately. Maybe that is why the promise of ” heaven” is so meaningful to me…and so many.
Boy can I relate to that Michael. Thanks for sharing your guts with us/me. For me it’s like a climb out of a very deep valley, so easily slipping back and yet somehow always pursuing some new height ! Possessed to go forward. I have to always remind myself when I get tied up in knots and I can’t see beyond the past, that Jesus said “come onto me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly of heart and you will find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Those are beautiful and comforting words spoken by our Lord. Shalom.