Breaking News – literally
This is Sunday. If I remember correctly. Five days ago, a truck and my bicycle had a brief encounter. Within two seconds I had a broken leg and a broken hand, a banged-up shoulder, and some other lacerations. I don’t remember any of it. I remember riding on the bicycle, seeing the curb, and trying to stand up only to discover that it hurts so much I couldn’t even lift myself. I didn’t know I had a broken leg at that point, and I never knew I had a broken hand until the doctors told me that it was broken 10 hours later in the emergency room. The amazing thing is I don’t remember the actual accident at all. An Italian man driving in the car behind the truck said that I went head over heels in the air before landing. Some memories have returned but none of the accident itself. My mind and body went into traumatic protective mode and basically blocked me from feeling or even thinking what was happening. Now my systems are starting to recover. The pain in my broken leg is still there but it’s not as intense as it was. The pain in my hand continues and is getting stronger. I’m starting to feel the aches and pains of all of the other blows when I hit the cement. But today the emotional hurt is taking over.
Today my heart hurts. Today I feel the loneliness, the helplessness, the frustration, disappointment, and the hopelessness. Today the impact of all the dreams and hopes that I had for reuniting with my wife and my children, for seeing so many friends, today those are being crushed along with my body by the truck. Today those are the hurts. Today I am living with the pain that doesn’t go away with more medication. I am amazed that the body is so capable of automatically removing the memories of traumatic pain. It doesn’t let it come back although obviously it was recorded someplace in my mind. It’s too much for my body to actually bear. So, it just becomes a blank spot in my memory as though it never happened, and I just woke up with all the results. But heartache doesn’t work that way. Heartache is slow. It grows gradually like a spiritual mold that you don’t even realize is growing in the walls until one day a little hole breaks through and you see that all along you’ve been living with this nightmare. All along it’s been infecting you. And suddenly it overwhelms.
BTW, All scheduled activities for July are canceled. Don’t know yet about August.
When I was injured, I thought I would have time to study my Italian and Hebrew and generally work on various photos. But now I am discovering that it’s so exhausting to just live, to just move around the apartment, to deal with the pain that I don’t feel like doing anything at all. Maybe it’s emotional as well but I just want to lay in bed.
It hurts even to write this, but I need to because it is medicine for the heart.
I’m so sorry for the additional pain and isolation you’re dealing with now. It must be very difficult for Rosanne, also, to not be present to care for you right now. Praying for you, Skip.
By what may one be strengthened… whose heart is aching, even as the body? Yes, the body may protect by removing the memory of traumatic pain, but what of the soul? What may “guard” and strengthen the heart and mind?
“I will remember the deeds of Yah. Surely I will remember your wonders from long ago. I will also muse on all your work, and meditate on your deeds.” (Psalm 77:11-12)
And may the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.
(Praying for your whole/complete strengthening and healing, my brother!)
Be strong, don’t be discouraged! Sorry if that sounds too simple, but I know what I’m talking about. Have been in hospital recently because of covid for 11 days without visiters allowed. Broken my leg in the past and had horrible pain too. If it’s any consolation: with every operation I had after 3 days the pain became bearable. You’re not alone: many people are praying for you and God will not leave you for one single second!
I thought He had left me in hospital, but that was in the middle of a night having severe fever. Actually He never left me. Never! And neither will He leave you, brother!
Be blessed, praying for you!
With His stripes we are healed! (Isaiah 53:5) That helped me through ……
I am so sorry. This pains my heart just to read it. I didn’t realize Roseanne wasn’t there to help you. I hope you aren’t totally alone! This is worse than when you dealt with the Achilles heel. We are praying for you! I am holding on to hope for August. Praying for your body and your heart!
We share your heaviness, your heart pain. Prayers always! Please know, You are not alone!
An open letter to the community. I know we are all shocked at Skip’s accident and suffer with and for him, but there is not much we can do from afar… or is there? Perhaps we as a community can help restore his lost summer earnings by either contributing directly to him or at the least by purchasing and downloading one of his many video or audio series. While it is biblically true that if one of our members suffers we all suffer, however I am not in physical pain and I can do nothing to alleviate Skip’s pain ( other than pray, but realistically my pleas may not help at all), however it is incumbent that we, as believers, should bear one another’s burden and in this case that burden is (or could be) financial. I know Skip would never ask us for financial help, nor should he have to. Please do for Skip what you have learned from Skip… and have a good eye.
Thanks for the excellent suggestion, Michael!