Head of Household

He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 1 Timothy 3:4  NIV

Family – The NIV translates the word oíkou as “family.”  The NASB uses “household.”  The Greek term is quite flexible, stretching from “family” to “house” to “race.”  It is parallel to the Hebrew bayit, which has a wide range of translations (house, household, home, place, temple, inward, family).  This raises a question: Are you a family because you live in the same house?  Or is that just an accident of proximity?

The Hebrew term is first and foremost about buildings, i.e., places of habitation.  Only by extension is it applied to human groups (households or descendants).  “Jacob’s household (Gen 35:2), family of descendants as a corporate group, also Abraham’s house (Gen 18:19) and David’s house (II Sam 7:11), the Hebrew people as house of Jacob (Gen 46:27) and house of Israel (Ex 16:31), the father’s house in sense of a clan or family (Num 1:2). In the ot there is a solidarity between a man and his house (Josh 2:12; 6:22; 7:1–5; I Kgs 7:15). So Joshua informs the Israelites that he and his house will serve the Lord (Josh 24:15).”^[1]  The extension is important, of course, but the idea starts with physical location, not genealogical relation.

The Greek group (oíkos) shows the typical Greek language specificity: oikía [house, family], oikeíos [member], oikéō [to live, inhabit], oikodómos [builder], oikodoméō [to build, edify], oikodomḗ [building, edifying], epoikodoméō [to build on], synoikodoméō [to build together], oikonómos [steward, manager], oikonomía[management, administration], katoikéō [to dwell], oikētḗrion [dwelling place], katoikētḗrion [dwelling place], katoikízō [to make to dwell], oikouménē [the inhabited world]^[2]

The assumption in both languages is about relational proximity.  But is that how we think of “family”?  In the ancient world, related groups typically maintained physical proximity.  The need for security and economic sustainability dictated close connections.  Cultures in the modern world that follow traditional ancient habitation patterns continue these connections.  For example, many people I know here in Italy live within easy reach of parents, aunts, uncles, and other family members.  They would never think of moving away.  Family is the root of their existence.  But modern economics works against this kind of connection.  Market economies are geographically dispersed.  People follow the job.  Families are separated by wide distances.  What, then, is a family today?  Perhaps a family is a family when you maintain close relationship connections even if you are not in the same place.  Perhaps a family is intentional, not merely proximal.  If all that matters is miles (kilometers), then “family” is almost a forgotten word.  When miles separate, purposeful intention must erase distance.

Topical Index: family, household, oíkos, bayit, Genesis 18:19, 1 Timothy 3:4

^[1] Goldberg, L. (1999). 241 בַּיִת. R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer Jr., & B. K. Waltke (Eds.), Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (electronic ed., p. 105). Chicago: Moody Press.

^[2] Kittel, G., Friedrich, G., & Bromiley, G. W. (1985). Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, Abridged in One Volume (p. 674). Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans.