Safe Haven (Rewind)

In You, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be ashamed; in Your righteousness deliver me.  Psalm 31:1  NASB 1995

Never be ashamed – It’s been almost four years since I wrote this study of Psalm 31.  We covered every verse in that month.  Four years later I wonder if anything has really changed.  Maybe it’s worth looking at it again.

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“Where do you feel safe?” asked my friend, the therapist.  The answer scared me.  Where do you feel completely accepted, warts and all?  Where are you safe enough to be transparent about your feelings, your confusion, your concerns?  Where are you welcomed to share yourself without trying to meet the expectations of someone else?  Where do you feel that you won’t be blamed for something?  Where you won’t be treated as if you aren’t worthy of being loved because you have failed in the past?

The reason Twelve Step groups exist is because most of the time we are not safe.  Most of the time we feel (whether it’s true or not) that we are expected to live up to someone else’s standard (even if that standard is now an internal tape playing in our minds), to be someone else, someone who makes the other person comfortable.  Most of the time we simply can’t admit our struggles, all of them, without feeling rejected, subtly unloved, unworthy.  When the Church abandoned the confessional, it abdicated a very important role in communal life—a safe haven where we can unburden ourselves of the guilt and shame we hide from everyone else.  We think that the role of the prophets was to give warning and instruction to God’s people, but there is another vital function they performed.  They were safe.  Oh, I don’t mean passive or amenable or accommodating.  They certainly weren’t any of those things.  No, they were safe because they spoke the heart of God, not the judgments of men.  If they accused, it was God’s judgment spoken, but if they forgave, it was also God’s grace spoken.  In David’s life, Nathan is the example of both roles.  Doesn’t Proverbs remind us that a true friend wounds (Proverbs 27:6)?

David writes that he has taken refuge in YHVH.  The verb, ḥāsâ, is used to describe fleeing for protection, or confiding in hope of acceptance.  That’s what most of us need—a place of protection.  David recognizes that this comes ultimately from YHVH.  In the human arena, everyone else may fail.  No one is exempt from uttering a harsh word of rejection, even unintentionally.  Everyone knows the sting.  So, David’s words are especially important—timeless reminders of the true meaning of grace, that is, not some promise of escape into a perfect world of self-preservation but an experience of being completely accepted despite our sordid histories.  Grace is discovering someone else knows us—and doesn’t turn away!

Of course, David’s plea doesn’t seem like reality.  “Let me never be ashamed,” is not very likely.  Maybe we mistakenly translate lʿôlām as “never” when it really means indefinite continuance, past or future.  In other words, grace gives me space, perhaps in both temporal directions (if I were to be Greek about it).  As long as God loves me, I’m worthy, regardless of the opinions (the fearful ones) of others.  It’s just incredibly hard to maintain that perspective in a world of comparisons.  Better read the verse again.

Topical Index:  ashamed, ḥāsâ, never, lʿôlām, grace, safe, Psalm 31:1