He Speaks!

“Many daughters have done worthy things, but you—you surpass them all.”  Proverbs 31:29  Robert Alter

You—you – This hymn to wives is well known in religious circles.  Apparently written by the mother of King Lemuel, it is not only a glorious recounting of the strength and valor of a wife, it is also a stern warning to the man to guard the relationship.  As the king’s mother proclaims, trusting her will bring nothing but good.  The ʾišĕt ḥayil (not “excellent wife” or “virtuous wife” but rather “valiant wife”) displays all the laudable characteristics of women in the ancient world, that is, might, power, ability, valor, virtue, and substance.  As you will recall, the poem recounts this woman’s acts from management to charity.  In a clear expression of her parallel to divine protection, verse eleven uses the term bāṭaḥ (“trusts”), a term almost exclusively used in the positive sense for a person’s relationship with God.

However, there is one notably absent element in this poem—absent until we get to verse twenty-nine.  We’ve heard the king’s mother extol the ʾišĕt ḥayil but we haven’t heard a word from the king.  In fact, there isn’t a single vocal line in the poem until now.  Finally, in this penultimate verse, he speaks, and what he says summarizes not only the benefit he derives from such a woman but also the respect he holds for her.

Robert Alter makes the point with a comment on the use of the second-person singular ‘at.  “ . . . the husband, who has benefited from the wife’s prodigious efforts, and until now has been in the background of the poem, trusting his wife and sitting with the elders at the gates, steps forward to address her in superlative praise.  The force of the direct address is underscored by the emphatic use of the second-person singular feminine pronoun ‘at in the second verset: ‘but you-you surpass them all.’”[1]

Men, there’s something important to learn here.  Double up on your praise to her.  Make it personal!  The subject matter of this poem is not just women in general, although that’s how we usually apply it.  The king’s statement is directed to one particular woman, the one that matters most in his life, his ʾišĕt ḥayil.  Feel the honor, the pride, the appreciation in this double pronoun.  Everything that he wants to express starts out with a simple designation, “You,” but that isn’t enough.  A single substitute for her name can’t capture what he feels.  He’s doubly blessed.  It takes two times the effort to even begin to express his gratitude.  “You—you” are the one.

Today is my day to say “You—you.” This day is my wife’s birthday.  Happy birthday, my love—and thank you, thank you.[2]

Topical Index:  you—you, ʾišĕt ḥayil, wife, Proverbs 31:29

[1] Robert Alter, The Hebrew Bible: Volume 3 Writings, p. 453, fn. 29.

[2] This isn’t the first time I’ve expressed the “you—you” gratitude.  You might remember this. https://skipmoen.com/2013/06/lioness/