The Best Wounds
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6 NIV
Can be trusted – I’m not a big fan of the NIV. For me, it has too much implicit theology, especially in the New Testament. In this particular verse, Robert Alter’s criticism of the translator’s need to explain rather than translate seems to apply. The verse in Hebrew is:
נֶאֱמָנִים פִּצְעֵי אוֹהֵב וְנַעְתָּרוֹת נְשִׁיקוֹת שׂוֹנֵא
Literally, “Faithful the wounds of a friend, deceitful the kisses of an enemy.” You will notice two things. First, there is no copula (no “to be” verb). The Hebrew text doesn’t say, “Wounds can be trusted.” It simply connects wounds and reliability. This is typical in Hebrew, but not in English. Secondly, you will notice that the verb is ʾāman. Here it is Nif’al participle masculine plural. The Nif’al usually indicates an incomplete (continuing) passive or reflexive tense (i.e., something that happens to the subject rather than something that the subject does). In this case, the wounds happen to the reader (the subject). They are the actions of another party (the friend). The NIV makes it seem as if wounds are the subject itself, but this is not the case. The wounds are the result of the friend’s act. They are inflicted on the reader, the implied subject. So, it’s not the case that I can trust the wounds. It is rather the case that I can trust the one who delivers the wounds, namely, the friend.
The verb says more than “I can trust.” Basically, ʾāman is about certainty; not in the Greco-Roman framework of mathematically correct but in the Semitic framework of utterly reliable. In the Western world, certainty is about cognitive agreement with reality (facts). In the Semitic world, certainty is about relationship. This verse is about the relationship of a friend, not necessarily about the truth of the wounds. The NIV makes it seems as if the wounds themselves are what can be trusted, but the Hebrew implies that it is the friend who is reliable because he does not hesitate to deliver difficult blows. The wounds are merely the vehicle that demonstrates his faithfulness.
This is a familiar word. We use a variation in the English “Amen,” meaning “Let it be so.” Its derivatives include “truly,” “faithfulness,” “surely,” “indeed,” “fidelity,” and “steadfastness.” As you will notice, the ideas of “correct,” “accurate,” or “unerring” are not present. That should give you an important insight.
What matters here is the intensity of friendship. A real friend is an unbiased sounding board. You might not like what you hear, but you can be sure it is delivered with total honesty and unwavering support. My therapist and I recently talked about the role of true friends in my life. I remarked that I have only one life-long friend, a man I’ve known since I was nine-years old. Growing up, we did everything together. We hiked in the woods, rode bicycles, built model trains, fixed cars, shot guns, stole Playboy magazines, played baseball, and spent hours just hanging out. After almost seventy years, if I talk with him on the telephone, it’s as though no time has passed at all. My therapist remarked about how lucky I am to have such a history. She’s right, of course. Most of us don’t have life-long connections. I have been blessed, even when he tells me something I’m not too happy to hear. The blessing is the man. The words are the proof. “ . . . you cannot make new old friends.”[1]
Topical Index: friend, faithful, wounds, Proverbs 27:6
[1] Irvin D. Yalom, Staring at the Sun: Being at peace with your own mortality, p. 180.
