Double Wanderers
And not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation that did not prepare its heart and whose spirit was not faithful to God. Psalm 78:8 NASB
Not prepare/ not faithful – Erica Brown makes a damning point about the ex-slaves in the wilderness:
“The circuitousness of the journey is attributed to the moral and faith lapses of the travelers, as reflected in Psalms:
‘May they not be like their fathers, A wayward and defiant generation; A generation whose heart was inconsistent, whose spirit was not true to God. (Ps. 78:7-8)’
‘Straight and narrow’ describes both a travel plan and a moral posture. Because the Israelites compromised on the latter, they were denied the former.”[1]
Quite often I feel like I’m one of those wanderers, the one who was rescued from bondage only to ask for meat instead of manna. I wonder if Egypt (or Greece) isn’t so much a part of my DNA that it courses through everything I try to do, especially when it comes to ʾĕmûnâ (translated here as “faithful”). Even with hindsight, I find that I’m a wave tossed by the sea when it comes to the Mosaic code. My head gets in the way of my heart all the time. I question things, not because there isn’t progress in questions but often because I don’t really want to feel condemned by the Peshat reading of the text. Linguistic excuses are handy, aren’t they?
But when I read something like Brown’s insight, I realize that my wandering is also the result of moral detours. The path of my life has been derailed more than once because of the lack of ʾĕmûnâ. When I could have reached the Promised Land in three days time, it’s taken more than fifty years and I have still not arrived. Perhaps I will have to die in the wilderness so that my children can cross over. What was it that Nietzsche said? “Some cannot loosen their own chains and can nonetheless redeem their friends.”[2]
“Not prepared.” kûn. Establish. Fix. Prepare. Make right. I’ve missed the mark on a lot of those words even if I know the vocabulary. Erica could have included “intellectual wandering” as well. A body can only go where the head and the heart lead. ʾĕmûnâ, from the root ʾāman. “ʾĕmûnâ is also used to refer to those whose lives God establishes. He expects to see faithfulness in them (Prov 12:22; II Chr 19:9). Indeed, such faithfulness or a life of faith is characteristic of those justified in God’s sight (Hab 2:4). God’s word of truth establishes man’s way of truth or faithfulness (Ps 119:30). From this we can also see the concept of a duty being entrusted to a believer which becomes his trust (faithful responsibility,”[3]
Duty and responsibility. Ugh. Hard words. Harder actions. Not all, of course. Some duties and some responsibilities are actually delightful, but there’s always that handful that make us look for “justifiable excuses.” Like, “Oh, we’re so hungry for that meat we used to have when we were back in Egypt. Can’t we just have a little something like that.” Appetites and desires. No wonder the Church thought the body was evil. Mine veers in that direction too. Life as the nexus of yetzer ha’ra and yetzer ha’tov. If only it were easier. But then I wouldn’t be in His image, would I?
Topical Index: kûn, ʾĕmûnâ, prepare, faithfulness, Numbers, Psalm 78:8
[1] Erica Brown, Leadership in the Wilderness: Authority and Anarchy in the Book of Numbers (2013, Maggid), p. 41.
[2] Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra
[3] Scott, J. B. (1999). 116 אָמַן. R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer Jr., & B. K. Waltke (Eds.), Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (electronic ed., p. 52). Chicago: Moody Press.
