Going Home
we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:8 NASB 1995
Absent – “The fantasy of escape from the struggle of existence must be deeply addressed if one is to find the vital center of one’s being.”[1]
“I just want it to be over,” he said holding back the tears. “I’m so tired.” His eyes confirmed the deep exhaustion. “It seems like we make some progress, you know, and then something happens and we’re right back to square one. How many times do we have to kinda’ start over before it’s enough? I don’t know anymore. It’s just fight and fight and fight. The battle is never over. I’m worn out. I just want to go home.”
“Stripping himself of his fantasy defenses, he passes through and beyond these to a world of real questions, in the midst of time and space.”[2] According the Zornberg, the desire to escape is a form of the Golden Calf Egyptomania we carry in our spiritual DNA, an “idealized fantasy” that we can leave this world for perfect, peaceful bliss in the olam ha’ba. Heaven, nirvana, the Ein Sof—call it whatever you wish—all represent a way out, a denial of our human condition—embodied, temporal, dependent. Soloveitchik comments:
“Many religions view the phenomenon of death as a positive spectacle, inasmuch as it highlights and sensitizes the religious consciousness and ‘sensibility.’ They, therefore, sanctify death and the grave because it is here that we find ourselves at the threshold of transcendence, at the portal of the world to come.”[3]
“Authentic Judaism as reflected in halakhic thought sees in death a terrifying contradiction to the whole of religious life. Death negates the entire magnificent experience of halakhic man.”[4]
“ . . . halakhic man prefers the real world to a transcendental existence because here, in this world, man is given the opportunity to create, act, accomplish, while there, in the world to come, he is powerless to change anything at all.”[5]
This makes me wonder if Paul didn’t have a bit of Egypt in him too. What’s that famous line from M. Scott Peck? Oh, yes. “Life is difficult.” No wonder we keep some Golden Calf desire. Of course we want out—but is that really the divine purpose? To prepare for escape? To live as aliens so that we might be comfortable in another place? Apparently not, at least not from a Torah perspective. Our role is to bring about tikkun ‘olam, healing here—little by little, ripples across the galaxy. And when heaven arrives on earth, we’ll still be here, enjoying the reality of the ideal, having never left to find peace someplace else. Paul’s apocalyptic aspiration must provide context for his “Egyptomania.” He longs for the ideal to arrive in the real even if there are times when he’d like escape. Sounds like me.
Topical Index: Egyptomania, halakhic man, death, heaven, escape, 2 Corinthians 5:8
[1] Avivah Gottlieb Zornberg, The Hidden Order of Intimacy: Reflections on the Book of Leviticus (Schocken Books, 2022), p. 16.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, Halakhic Man (JPS, 1983), p. 31.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Ibid., p. 32.
