Bent Out of Shape
For I am ready to fall, and my sorrow is continually before me. For I admit my guilt; I am full of anxiety because of my sin. Psalm 38:17-18 NASB
Admit my guilt – The Hebrew verb nāgad means “to make known.” TWOT elaborates, “to place a matter high, conspicuous before a person.”[1] In the social context of Israel, this probably entails public declaration. Our version of confession to a priest, or even more privately, silent or whispered acknowledgement at the altar, isn’t a Hebrew idea simply because sin isn’t an individual matter. Sin affects the community, as we note over and over in Scripture. Its remedy is also public. Therefore, admitting my sin cannot be carried out in secret, as if all I need to do is mention it in silent prayer. No wonder the psalmist begins with “ripe for stumbling.” This kind of confession will inevitably involve public reputation.
But what, exactly, is he confessing? Robert Alter translates the next phrase, “For my crime I shall tell, I dread my offense.” “Guilt” in the NASB becomes “crime” in Alter’s version. Neither one communicates the full range of this Hebrew word, ʿāwōn. The root of this word is ʿāwâ.
The basic meaning of the verb, “to bend, twist, distort,” can be seen in its concrete, non-theological uses: “I am bent over” (Niphal) (Ps 38:7); “the lord lays the earth waste, devastates it; and he ruins (Piel) it” (Isa 24:1). From this primary notion it derives the sense “to distort, to make crooked, to pervert”: “He has made my paths crooked (Piel)” (Lam 3:9): “I have … perverted (Hiphil) what is right” (Job 33:27); “a man of perverse (Niphal) heart will be despised” (Prov 12:8). When the distortion pertains to law it means “to sin, to infract, to commit a perversion/iniquity.” . . The derivative noun ʿāwōn occurs with only the derived, abstract theological notion of the root: “infraction, crooked behavior, perversion, iniquity, etc.”. . . the noun is a collective.[2]
What the psalmist makes known is not some particular sin. He’s revealing his flawed character, his habitual disobedience. And not even that, since disobedience implies some accepted standard. He’s writing about the awareness of being bent out of shape. He feels the dislocation—from his community and from himself. There’s a perverse figure hiding in his consciousness, an alien force (yetzer ha’ra) willing and able to undermine even his best intentions. Paul had something to say about this more than one thousand years later. This is like standing in the public square and declaring, “Look! Something’s wrong. I’m broken!”
Some theologians transformed this existential experience into doctrine and produced the idea of Original Sin, as if we were born infected with guilt. As my Italian friend commented, “All Italians know they are guilty. They just don’t know why.” But the psalmist isn’t endorsing a nebulous idea of guilt at birth. He’s just describing that feeling we have when we try so hard to do what is right and it still comes out wrong. It’s not about blame. It’s about the broken creation—a fact of life, I’m afraid. That doesn’t make it any easier. It just helps us understand the ripple effects of sin. The biblical world is not a Pollyanna projection. It’s a gut-check reality. And it’s not going away any time soon. The real issue is what to do in the midst of this mess. Maybe the psalmist will give us some advice. We’ll see.
Topical Index: ʿāwōn, crime, sin, nāgad, make known, Psalm 38:18
[1] Coppes, L. J. (1999). 1289 נָגַד. R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer Jr., & B. K. Waltke (Eds.), Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (electronic ed., p. 549). Chicago: Moody Press.
[2] Schultz, C. (1999). 1577 עָוָה. R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer Jr., & B. K. Waltke (Eds.), Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (electronic ed., p. 650). Chicago: Moody Press.
