Imperfect

For I am ready to fall, and my sorrow is continually before me.  For I admit my guilt; I am full of anxiety because of my sin.  Psalm 38:17-18  NASB

Continually before – Pay attention!  The Hebrew words translated “continually before” are negdi tāmîd.  The root of negdi is neged.  Why is this important?  Because in the very next sentence, the same root is used for “I admit,” and the verb is in the imperfect Hif’il.  What does this tell us?  A Hif’il  usually means the subject causes the action.  This is intentional behavior, something I do myself.  Because it is also an imperfect, this is a continuing action.  That fact is emphasized by the word tāmîd.  In combination, we have a phrase that suggests actions taken by the subject over and over, with no end point in mind.

But there are nuances here that need to be elaborated.

You’ll remember that the poem is chiastic.  Below are the last words of verse 17 (18 in the Hebrew Bible) and the first words of verse 18 (H 19).  I have highlighted the words negdi (“before”) and nāgad (“make known”).  The intervening words are “continually” and “for my sin.”  Confessing is the action of putting something before the face, that is, making it conspicuous.

נֶגְדִּ֥י תָמִֽיד    כִּֽי־עֲו‍ֹנִ֥י אַגִּ֑יד

What is “continually before”?  “My sin.”  Literally this reads:

“before constantly because my crookedness I make known”

Notice that this is not a once-in-a-lifetime event.  Tāmîd is connected with the whole burnt offering made every morning.  It is the same word used in relation to the continuity of the priest’s rituals.  Day by day, season by season, year after year—that’s the sense of the word.  “When was the last time you made confession?” asks the Catholic priest.  “Yesterday” is probably the right answer.

This poem reminds us that the feeling of disconnection is part of the human condition in a broken world.  The disconnection we feel inside is a reflection of the disconnection between God and His creation.  There is no heaven on earth, at least not yet.  It also reminds us that since this is not unusual God made a provision to deal with it.  The sacrifices are offered every day because we need His assurance every day.  We need to see, as Soloveitchik declares, the ideal is waiting in the wings.  We need to know that every effort, no matter how small, opens a door for the halakhic world to enter.  God is in the business of straightening things out—including us.  Unbending is a slow, painful process.  But, as Paul reminds us, once He gets us into the pipe vise, nothing can prevent His grace from finishing the job.

Topical Index: continually, tāmîd, negdi, neged, before, chiasm, Psalm 38:17-18