“And in the End”
A good name is better than fragrant oil, and the day of death than the day of birth. Ecclesiastes 7: 1 JPS
Day of death – “Many individuals report that they rarely think of their own death but are obsessed with the idea, and the terror, of transiency. Every pleasant moment is corroded by the background thought that everything now experienced is evanescent and will end shortly. An enjoyable walk with a friend is undermined by the thought that everything is slated to vanish—the friend will die, this forest will be transformed by creeping urban development. What’s the point in anything if everything will turn to dust?”[1]
Why is the day of death better than the day of your birth? The rabbis reflected on this stark evaluation. “One answer is that our reputation is not secure until we die and can no longer blemish it (Rashbam). As Ben Sira says, ‘Call no man happy before he dies, for a man is known [only] at his end’ (11:28). And Hillel said, ‘Do not trust yourself till the day of your death’ (Avot 2:4). . . Koheleth may be praising death for releasing mortals from the heavy awareness of injustice and from life’s toils (4:3; 6:3).”[2]
“As death approaches, many are aware that when they perish their whole unique separate world will perish as well—that world of sights and sounds and experiences unknown to anyone else, not even life partners.”[3] Qohelet seems to completely agree with Yalom. But perhaps we’re not looking deep enough into the pessimism of Ecclesiastes. Fox notes, “The purpose of 7:1-4 is not to condemn feasting, but rather to give preference to an open-eyed awareness of mortality.”[4]
How do we respond to Yalom’s pessimism? It’s absolutely true that everything will turn to dust. The Bible even confirms this. So, why continue? Ah, remember Abby Road. “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
Are John, Paul, George, and Ringo just naïve? Or are they really reflecting a truth we would rather not face? In the end, balance is the name of the game. But it’s balance without limit. The more you give, the more is given. Yes, death may erase that private world that only you and God occupy. Yes, it may put an end to plans for tomorrow. Yes, it flicks away all those memories that became the narrative of your soul. But you aren’t the isolated individual of post-Platonic dualism. You are the nexus of connections, and those connections don’t disappear with your death. The ripples you caused on the water of life go on, expanding, changing, rearranging the lives of others again and again. In the end you may be absent but who you were isn’t.
Topical Index: death, birth, love, connection, Irvin Yalom, Ecclesiastes 7:1
[1] Irvin D. Yalom, Staring at the Sun: Being at peace with your own mortality, p. 90.
[2] Ibid., pp. 43-44.
[3] Irvin D. Yalom, Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist’s Memoir, p. 198.
[4] Michael V. Fox, The JPS Bible Commentary: Ecclesiastes (JPS, 2004), p. 43.
